question

I got pure o. I don't think that's really the correct term but you get what i'm talking about. I would say that i have it because my ocd just picks and chooses what subtype it wants to bother with me today. Right now, i'm suffering with real event ocd and, hopefully, false memories. But i think i might have cracked the code on it. So my real events and false memories are pretty much private related, which makes it worse because there's no evidence or proof. There are some memories (real events) i can think about and accept that they happened. I still feel guilt and shame but i have closure from it. And there's the other memories (hopefully false memories) that i look at and just cannot wrap my head around. They feel so real like they actually happened and it gives me so much stress, but i sit there and think and think and think on it to see if it actually happened. Btw, these false memories come from my real events but in different situations and times. Like if it was true, i would accept it. Whether or not it made me feel guilt or shame, i would still accept it happened. This is what i think i figured out. I can look at a memory and know for certain it happened. I don't need evidence or nothing. The false memories make me question myself if it did happen. It's still very vivid and looks so real like a real memory, but i just can't be for certain if i did that. It makes me feel like i'm in denial of my past. Sometimes they both work together. A real event can happen but false memories can use its work to detail out the event, tryna make it much worse than it was. Or you can be thinking of a false memory but real events can try linking with that false memory to making you think you did do that. If this makes any sense or if what i’m saying is correct or i’m just crazy, please tell me. All advice is welcome. Thank you

just wanted to see if others struggle with real event ocd really kicking their a**. i feel like my mind is a constant battleground of every mistake ive made and they feel so huge and life altering to me that it’s hard to continue going on in their wake. just wondering if anyone else feels this way too.

Are intrusive memories a thing? Because I have memories pop up throughout the day, usually regrets or mistakes from when I was younger, but it's almost uncontrollable? It sort of feels like I'm testing myself to see if the memories still make me anxious or something. I can't tell if I'm willingly thinking of them or if they just invite themselves in. They're just always at the front of my thoughts unless I'm really engaged with something else or out and about with other people... I'm trying to treat them like I do with intrusive thoughts, but occasionally, it's like I can't resist NOT ruminating on these past events. I try not to, but then that only makes them more persistent. I'm just curious if anyone's dealt with this or possibly has advice? I'm guessing I'll just have to sit with it. I don't think I've asked about this before, but I might be wrong lol. I forget easily 😭 I'll probably speak with my psychiatrist about this, too, but our next appointment isn't until August. She's not an OCD specialist or haver, so I thought I'd ask here, just in case anyone can help! 🤍