Real event ocd

I can’t stop obsessing over whether or not I’m a narcissist or some sort of sociopath who manipulates everyone around me and I feel like I’m losing my mind. My friend and I had an argument about how she thought I was ignoring her at a time when I felt super anxious. I apologized that my actions hurt her and acknowledged how it made her feel multiple times, but I can’t stop obsessing that I’m a narcissist because I also added in the fact of how that event made me feel, where I was struggling deeply with ocd and anxiety that no one could see and I felt alone. I come from an abusive past with narcissistic parents who frequently manipulated me and gaslit me and because of that my ocd has latched onto a new obsession where I compulsively replay conversations and check to see if I’m an inherently terrible person for making things about me. I’m so terrified of becoming like my dad, I’m terrified that I am a monster when I make the smallest mistakes, and I don’t know how to face this obsession :/ I know I can’t ask for reassurance here but I just feel like I’ve gone crazy and like I can never distinguish the line between standing up for myself and being a good person because I’m always afraid that deep down, my childhood turned me into a manipulative evil person