I haven’t done a Q&A for quite some time, so let’s go for it! My background before you ask why I’m doing a Q&A: I’ve been in recovery and healed from all 5 of my mental illnesses for almost 4 years now. I was intense therapy for 6 years. I’m one of the new people on this app that’s recovered and I stay on to help whenever I can. Without further ado, please comment your questions and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability 👏🏻❤️
How do you deal with the thoughts that “feel real” it’s like I know and tell myself thoughts are thoughts and are not reality. I know ocd messes with your head so much but sometimes it feels like it’s so real and true and ruins my days.
Feelings are not facts. Images are not facts. Thoughts are not facts. Who cares if your thoughts feel real? Unless you act on something, thoughts are merely thoight bubbles that will pop eventually if you let them be and accept the uncertainty of life.
So I had a real life trauma (cheating) happen to me 12 yrs ago but I only found out about it A little over 2 yrs ago. My brain won’t let go over the memory of it and everything that comes a long with it. I’ve read it takes on average 18 months to 2 yrs to heal from infidelity. I’m not sure if I’m healed or if my ocd keeps giving me intrusive thoughts about it.
Most likely a bit of both and I’m sure your OCD has latched onto this topic because it’s hurt you so much.
@Nica Yeah it fucking sucks. I don’t want to think about it at all. I can go weeks without a thought about it and then bam a string of days where it seems that’s all that’s on my mind. I love my wife to death and the family we’ve made. Wish my brain would get on board.
@Dre83 You probably need to see a grief therapist before moving forward with ERP for your OCD because your grief and betrayal seems to be ruling your OCD.
I can’t stop to identify with the thoughts. I feel like they are my true self coming forward and that I’m actually crazy. Do you have advice on how to sort them out as just thoughts?
Thoughts are thoughts and they don’t matter; your actions matter. Trying to make sense of thought-vomit at every turn is making things worse for you, not better. I suggest practing mindfulness and ERP if you aren’t in therapy already.
@Nica I am in therapy. But I feel so disgusted by myself some days
@kctg I think you should tell your therapist that.
So I had an intrusive thought of my dad and now the thoughts are saying be afraid of him be afraid of him be afraid of him and I don’t know if it’s ocd
Sounds like it. Don’t give into your OCD.
A while after you started doing ERP, did multiple themes of OCD start showing up at the same time?
Yes, though I already had about 5 themes going on at once.
Can someone have a ocd theme that if different from from everybody elses
Yes.
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Start practicing mindfulness. It takes a long time to rewire your brain to be calm, but it’s worth it.
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You don’t get rid of them and you never will. You accept the fact you will have intrusive thoughts, feelings, and images—just like everyone in life. People without OCD have these thoughts too. They just don’t have the obsessiveness due to misfiring in the brain.
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I was 4 years old when my mom noticed I was doing compulsions. I got better in 2017 after 6 years of intense therapy.
@livefornow My mom is a therapist, so it’s different for me 😅
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You have to accept the uncertainty that you don’t know what is might happen or might not happen because frankly, that’s life. Live by the idea of “maybe, maybe not” because it’s not a thing you say, it’s a life style for those with OCD. You’re having all these intrusive thoughts because you keep giving into your OCD, which in turn shows your OCD it’s doing something right and to keep doing it.
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Still OCD. Do what you do with every other OCD thought.
I don't even know what to ask. Is ocd with you for your whole life and can it just be who you are in your personality? I feel like my obsessions are who I am
Yes, it’s with you your whole life but that doesn’t mean it runs your life.
@Nica Appreciate it.
Have you ever had a thought so unsettling it stopped you in your tracks? That’s how postpartum OCD started for me, triggered by my grandfather’s passing. After he died, a terrifying question popped into my head—What if I’m not a good person? From that moment, I became afraid of my own thoughts. When I had my daughter, a new fear took over: What if I could hurt her? I avoided being alone with her and constantly sought reassurance, but nothing eased the panic—until I found NOCD and realized I had OCD. Therapy was terrifying, but learning to face my fears instead of running from them changed everything. One day, when I was alone with my daughter, the thoughts came, and I simply responded, Maybe I could. Maybe I couldn’t, and moved on. That’s when I knew I was getting better. OCD no longer controls my life—and if you’re struggling, know that recovery is possible. I’ll be live on the app around 6:00 PM CT answering any questions, so ask away!"
I haven’t done a Q&A in over a year (my bad) but I used to do these at least once a month. Work is slow today, so please send me any questions you have about OCD and I’ll answer them as best as I can. A little about me: I’ve been subclinical/recovered for going on 5 years and I’ve been on this app volunteering since 2019 in an unofficial capacity—I’m not connected to the NOCD team, so I don’t have any badges. I did ERP treatment with my therapist in-person while I was also being treated for PTSD. I have OCD, PTSD, ADHD, depression, GAD, social anxiety, driving anxiety, and a few speech impediments.
In 2023, as I was finally getting sober from harder substances, I found myself in one of the scariest mental spaces I'd ever known. I was still smoking daily, my relationship was rocky, and one night—it all hit me. It felt like I had slipped into a video game. Nothing felt real… or maybe everything felt too real. The world around me was distorted. I had always dealt with anxiety, but this? This was something else. I was spiraling—drenched in guilt over everything I'd ever done, every person I thought I hurt, every wrong I tried to make right all at once. It was suffocating. At 23, I tried checking myself into a mental hospital—something I hadn’t done since I was 17. I was desperate to understand what was happening. My relationship took a hit as I spilled every ounce of guilt I carried to my partner, unable to stop the cycle. It wasn’t just anxiety. It was OCD. And while the diagnosis was terrifying at first, it was also reassuring. I finally had a name for the storm inside me. I wasn’t alone. People I admire—like Jenna Ortega—deal with this too. It’s not just me. It’s real, it’s hard, but it’s also something I can face. Since then, I’ve made big changes. I stopped smoking—realizing it only made the noise in my head louder. I started therapy. My partner didn’t understand at first, but as we both learned more about OCD together, we grew stronger. We’re now engaged, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. But now it’s time to reconnect—with myself. I want to find the me before everything. The creative, passionate, connected me. I want to start streaming games again and hopefully rebuild the following I lost. I want to connect with people again—I don’t have many friends left, but I’m determined to find my people again. I’m also diving back into my art. Journaling. Sketching—even when I don’t like it. Because it’s the act of creating that heals, not just the end result. I won’t let OCD run my life. I will prevail.
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