theme change!

it’s so funny how i’ll be so so confused about something, and then my theme will change to something else and the uncertainty around the initial theme completely goes! for example, i’ll fear i’m gay and don’t like boys. it’ll ruin my life for a few days, and i’ll be so anxious, constantly questioning everything. then i’ll fear i’m a narcissist, and the first fear about being gay completely subsides and i don’t question the fact that i’m most likely straight. when you’re wrapped up in a question, it completely consumes you. you’ll find all these intricate little doubts and hypothetical nuances. but when you take a step back (perhaps unintentionally because your theme has changed) it all becomes clear. ironically, i’ve just begun to fear i’m gay again. gotta love the way ocd gets you!

melissaaa

Date posted: 3y

I was telling myself the same thing ! I went through Rocd hocd and tocd when I switched to hocd Rocd was less present when I switched to tocd it was completely gone and now it’s back and it’s the same traps over again… god!

garden

Date posted: 3y

it’s so exhausting!

book_worm17

Date posted: 3y

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was suffering with ho/so ocd for about a month and finally just said to myself “you know what I’m probably bi” and I felt completely better. I stopped freaking out about my sexuality and I stopped over analyzing my memories and urges that came as a result of uncertainty about my sexuality. After a day or two I felt like myself again and didn’t even really think I was bi and realized I’m probably just straight (but I’ll never really know, which is really the center of ocd). Unfortunately, a few days after I overcame this subtype of ocd I started struggling with harm ocd and I still am (it’s been going on for about a week now). The logical part of my brain knows that this is ocd but my anxiety about the future and what I’ve done in the past keeps making me think otherwise. It’s awful, but I’m hoping that one day I can overcome ocd all together. I know it’s possible it might just take time :)

garden

Date posted: 3y

yes it is possible and you’ll definitely get there 💛💛

sillygoose1012

Date posted: 3y

Omg im the opposite, harm ocd use to completely consume me and I had heard ab soocd but my sexuality never really crossed my mind and then over time my theme changed to soocd and the harm ocd literally dissipated and looking back in retrospect it was so ridiculous. However my soocd has now lasted much longer (on and off), so this makes me wonder if it'll dissipate bc it's ocd or if I actually need to do some deep reflecting and come to terms w myself lol but that's the nature of it I guess

sillygoose1012

Date posted: 3y

@California2325 I've also tried to tell myself I'm probably bi but that does not comfort me in the slightest HAHA and then I spiral "is this ocd or internalized homophobia bc I'm actually not straight and it's uncomfortable for me" I won't deal w it for months and then it'll come back hard and it's just soo tiring

garden

Date posted: 3y

@California2325 questioning if it’s internalised homophobia is a huuuuuge part of so-ocd! i worry that a lot too.

sillygoose1012

Date posted: 3y

@garden Ugh it's so annoying and hard bc it's a genuine concern and something people actuslly deal with who don't have ocd

Beck64

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

SOOCD

I've suffered with OCD for 50 years with many different themes. SOOCD is my primary theme, and no matter which theme I may be in the middle of it always comes back to SOOCD. I'm back in therapy because after a couple of really good years, I've been in the middle of a flare up. My new therapist with NOCD, recently asked me what my core fear about homosexuallity is. I can't seem to answer that. The only answer that I can come up with, is that it is just egotistic. I'm a heterosexual man who loves my wife and raised three great kids. My question is, have. any ofyou ever been able to answer that question. I would appreciate any thoughts on this question. Thank you and have a great day.

Pushingpissed

Date posted: 24w

Feeling “normal” again

Anyone else feel that when they aren’t experiencing a theme that their ocd is almost non existent. It almost makes me feel like I’ve been faking it, and also makes me feel ridiculous for obsessing over things. I feel sorry for myself :/ I know that my themes are valid and felt very real in the moment, but after I “get over” them I just can’t believe that I was obsessing over something that either wasn’t true or didn’t apply to me. I would also like to know how to prevent themes from reoccurring. Health, religion and existential OCD themes tend to take turns throughout my life, I just didn’t know that was it ocd. Trying to break the cycle.

Cody Fournier

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 20w

OCD switches themes

I was just thinking about how OCD tries to be tricky and switches themes on us!! The amount of times I have said to myself in the past, IF ONLY I HAD THE OLDER THEME I USE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THIS NEW ONE IS SO MUCH WORSE!!! Has anyone ever experienced this before? Once I started ERP therapy, I began to really start understanding what mental/physical compulsions I was doing to really keep my OCD alive! While I did this, I would also tap into my self-compassion bucket, even when it felt like it was dry at times, because it was SO easy to judge myself for because of the sheer presence of my thoughts. I would also have the most self-compassion for myself for those taboo intrusive thoughts that really felt so strong, ego-dystonic and real!!! My OCD would hop around from theme to theme and just when I thought I figured it out (compulsion) it would hop again and make me discouraged! I noticed for me that once I really understood my compulsions, it didn't matter when the theme switched as I could tackle it at its core. If I was able to stay steadfast and resist compulsions the best I could, I started to notice that my CONFIDENCE increased in the long run! I also noticed that some of the core fears were the same for different OCD subtypes. OCD treatment is hard BUT living with OCD is harder. I have experienced subtypes including Harm OCD, ROCD, Moral Scrupulosity, Sensorimotor, Contamination, Perfectionism/Just Right, Hit and Run, Magical Thinking, Real Event/False Memory. ERP therapy allowed me to really work on stopping these compulsions and switching from theme to theme. I was fed up with what OCD took from me and I needed to do something about it. I talked to an ERP therapist and it was one of the best decisions of my life. If you are struggling, keep pushing and get the help you deserve!! You got this!!!

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