Less feelings about ex and I’m scared

I feel like I’m getting over my ex now because I’m talking to another boy but i still have the feeling I don’t want to let go. I also get sad about the fact that I’m going to like this boy and my ex is going to notice and he’s getting sad. Because my ex and I are still on good terms, still speaking and being friends. He ended it because he didn’t felt it anymore and didn’t want an relationship. But I just know he still feels something for me because he still reach out for contact every week. I’ve had a really hard time getting over him and I’m still not fully over him I think but now I’m finally after 6 months of our breakup talking to another boy and it feels good and I like it but in the back of my mind I also feel sad for him and for me and just letting go of those memories with him I feel like I can’t do that. Like I can’t go back to my ex once I like this other boy. + I don’t want to hurt my ex because I don’t want him to be sad. Even tho he kissed 2 girls already I still care for him. It isn’t going to look like I go in a new relationship with this boy, but I just recognise I’m less interested in my ex when he texts me and idk but it’s making me sad Can anybody explain why this is happening ?

Studybug

Date posted: 3y

This may be harsh, but he literally told you he did not want a relationship with you anymore. No matter if you think he wants a relationship deep down, his actions and words have said otherwise. From what you said, it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too - he doesn't want a relationship with you but wants to keep you around for a feeling of familiarity and security. It sounds like you're doing that too. Honestly, you are putting the feelings of your ex before your own, he is not doing that with you. Breakups are hard, but even if you get with someone else, you can still have the memories of your relationship with him. It is time to move on and not let anyone else's emotions rule your life.

Anonymously2

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much, I guess that is it. When he broke up with me I was devastated but now after a while I see he didnt do anything for me while I did everything for him, so it was not fear. I guess it’s indeed some sort of familiarity why I keep him around and he too. I’m also scared to go to an other boy because I don’t want to be hurt like that again + I had really worse rocd thoughts when we were a half year into our relationship (we were a year together). But those thoughts of rocd are sort of gone because I realized those thoughts were just fear and not true. But now it keeps me sort of from going into an new relationship, same as the so-ocd thoughts that came after our relationship. But you’re right and staying friends is the only thing we should do

CurlyHairedP...

Date posted: 3y

What Studybug said. He's clearly moving on with his life and might just want to keep you around for his own convenience. I know you might still care for him because he was once apart of your life, but know that you're not responsible for his feelings and the only one you should really worry about is yourself.

secretuser

Date posted: 21w

stuck in life

my grades are super bad, my ex moved on, i have no real friends at all, and i feel empty inside. i feel nothing but i feel so many emotions at the same time. i wish i would’ve done better in life. i push people away but then complain about being lonely. me and my ex broke up 8 months ago and i still can’t get over him. he got a girlfriend a week after our breakup and it makes me think about so many things. i’ve talked to guys after that but none of them are the same, i got this feeling with him i got with nobody else and it hurts to know i won’t ever get it back. i feel like im not good or pretty enough for anyone. i feel to difficult for a relationship and to tired. i compare myself to his new girlfriend all the time and i can’t stop. why can’t i be as pretty as her? what was so wrong with me that we had to stop talking? we talk every month as friends but it lasts an hour. my heart craves his love again but i know i won’t ever get him back. i remember this one time i tried cutting off all contact with him because of his girlfriend. when i did, he said he didn’t wanna fully let me go because im a good friend to keep around and he knows ill always be there. i don’t know if he still means that because it’s been months but he still texts me first sometimes. i know i need to let go but im stuck in life and i just need him to help me like he always would. but i cant get his help so i feel stuck and confused and sad and empty.

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Need advice!!

Ok I need any and all advice 😭 please help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and feel deeply connected and happy and in love with him. My ex and I were first loves and on and off basically for 5 or so years until I met my current bf. During that time we both were toxic and back and forth and he did some things that were really hurtful. We never really had an “ending” or any actual closure to anything? I just kind of started talking to and liking my current boyfriend. I saw my ex a month ish ago at the bar and wasn’t very nice to him. I was like hyper aware of how I was behaving around him to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. I know he has had a really hard time moving on from me. Since then I feel like I have not been able to stop thinking about the past and am questioning a ton about my feelings. I do have ROCD, and I don’t know if this is solely because of that or a mix of that and the emotional loose ends? I don’t know. But I’m feeling such an urge to text him this whole paragraph I’ve drafted about closure, how I don’t even need him to respond, but I just need to get some things off my chest. I feel SO conflicted about sending it. I do not want to rekindle anything with him, but it’s just the principle of texting your ex that makes me feel like I am betraying my boyfriend now. Yet it feels like it’s weighing on me so much - and I’m like is ocd involved? I just don’t know if I should send the text or not. If anyone has been in similar situations or has any helpful advice I would really love and appreciate some because I feel so stuck.

Relationship OCD

Meg4n

Date posted: 14w

Going crazy

My feelings are everywhere at the moment and i can’t think straight. I’ve recently started talking to a boy and I’ve met up with him twice. He’s a lovely guy and I think I do like him but idk if I’m attracted to him atm he’s not really my exact type and that’s what’s driving me crazy because what if I’m in denial about my “sexuality” and I’m lying to myself? And I’m panicking like mad because everything is going so fast that I can’t think straight. I’ve never really been in this situation before. He’s also being really kind to me and I know he likes me so his intentions are clear but that’s what’s scary, whenever he messages me now I feel overwhelmed 😭 If anyone has experienced this could you share your experience? Thank you.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Less feelings about ex and I’m scared

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community