How do you convince yourself to stop trying to “solve” the thoughts or questions when you feel really bad and it feels like if you could just resolve your doubts or figure it out you would finally feel good again?
You know you don’t like these thoughts. That’s why they are distressing. Keeping that in mind, tucked away, I started telling myself I didn’t care. I let myself ponder the thought instead of pushing it away or solve, and told myself I didn’t care about these thoughts. Slowly but surely, the dread and anxiety weakened and weakened. Trying to “solve” is a compulsion. In reality, there is nothing to solve. It’s kind of weird to wrap your head around but it will click eventually and you will realize there is actually nothing to solve! Just be patient and give it time. Stay strong!:)
What if you did something really bad that your real event OCD comes back to haunt? Even when my mom reassures me that I didn't hurt anyone and that what I did is something anyone can do and that it’s not serious, I get intrusive thoughts about the real event constantly and it makes me feel extremely anxious and guilty… I was 13 when the real event happened and it's connected to my POCD….. I don't ever want to be what my intrusive thoughts tell me and I'm so scared and anxious about this.. as i am posting this, it’s been about 4 hours since this real event OCD has made me ruminate… I’m constantly puking and vomiting to the intrusive thoughts…
@Anonymouss1 I felt the same way. Honestly. There’s no one way to go about it, the thing that helped me was just talking about it with everyone I trusted. I just got home from a small family reunion and at one point we were all talking about mental health, I just brought it up! It was hard at first and I started to cry, but simply sharing my experience and what it FEELS like was so helpful. My parents have been super supportive, and now I vent to my dad in the mornings. It’s sooo helpful to get outside perspectives, otherwise you just get stuck in your head. You realize “hey maybe I’m wrong” even though the feelings and the compulsions feel like something you NEED to address, they’ll go away once you get out of your head as much. So just talk! Give advice! I’ve been on this app all morning talking about my experience and what helped me and just doing that alone has been such a help. Because you DO know how to beat this. ERP is phenomenal. Practice practice practice and then teach and talk and speak out about it!
@745 Hey man I see you a lot here. I know what you’re going through is so hard. But asking these what if questions ARE a COMPULSION. And guess what? Giving in to these compulsions are going to keep the OCD alive. It’s okay to start small. Take a walk. Talk about your feelings with your mom. She sounds very supportive and she knows that you are not a bad person. So it’s okay to tell her EVERYTHING. Trust me. Typing away on this app asking what if what if what if isn’t going to help you. It’s a good resource, but give yourself a break. Take a walk outside. Remember there is something called “Thought-Action Fusion”. Just because you have these thoughts doesn’t mean they happen! Same with feelings! It doesn’t say anything about you. You know who you are deep down. OCD just takes away that trust that you have in yourself. Don’t let it control you. Learn to recognize your compulsions. It might take awhile! Another great resource is a YouTube channel called “OCD And Anxiety”. Don’t let watching his videos become a compulsion though! Just remember whenever you have a thought or feeling or emotion that it’s OCD. It’s going to try to trick you in every way it can. But you know who you are. Just remember that. I believe in you!!
If you ever find out a way let me know
Recognize “solving” is a compulsion! And then let yourself be comfortable with the uncertainty!
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
Sometimes it feels like I’m chasing pleasure with my intrusive thoughts. Like I just keep thinking them over and over, or even making them worse, because maybe deep down I *want* them. And that’s honestly scary. It feels like I’m trying to prove I’m a bad person or even a p*dophile just to see if I feel disturbed enough for it to count as “real distress.” But sometimes, I don’t even feel that bad. Sometimes it’s just… nothing. Because if I don’t feel guilty or sick enough, doesn’t that mean I like it? That I want to keep thinking about it? Sometimes it feels like I like it. And that’s when I spiral the hardest. But lately, I’m starting to think maybe I’m not actually chasing pleasure. Maybe I’m just chasing certainty. This desperate need to feel bad enough to prove to myself I’m a good person. And when I don’t feel that level of distress, I panic. I do compulsions, just trying to force that feeling. But it never feels “right.” It never feels enough. And I get stuck in this loop of testing, checking, pretending to be okay with these awful thoughts just to see how I’ll react. It’s confusing. It’s exhausting. And it makes me question everything about myself. But I think I don’t actually want these thoughts. Maybe I just want to know, with 100% certainty, that I don’t. If you’re stuck in the same cycle, I see you. You’re not alone. You’re not your thoughts. You’re just trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. And that’s okay.
I’ve heard it’s not good to seek reassurance or give it because it lowers your tolerance to uncertainty. But how do I avoid seeking reassurance when my thoughts and doubts are so bad, I genuinely just don’t know anymore if I’m a bad person or if it’s just OCD? I know I’m supposed to sit with the uncertainty, but how can I do that when the uncertainty has me unable to trust my own brain? Especially when the OCD is real event and POCD? How can I not seek reassurance when I feel so alone and so abnormal and just don’t wanna feel that way anymore? In turn, I see so many people on here struggling so bad and my heart breaks for them. How can I give advice to towers without giving them reassurance and hurting them in the long run?
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