I’m here for you! Ask me anything!

Hi syl47, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this! I’ve had intrusive thoughts about my sexuality as well. It’s hard to navigate on your own. Since I am not a therapist, I can’t give “clinical advice” for what you’re experiencing, but what I will say is false attraction is a very common experience with OCD and working with a therapist can help. We can’t always control what we see and what thoughts pop into our head, but with proper guidance we can control how we respond and eventually let them pass. Hang in there. ❤️

That’s great you’ve been able to stop your compulsions! I also struggled a bit with POCD, it’s not fun. OCD is known to ebb and flow a lot, but I think that’s one of the nice things about learning ERP! Once we learn ERP and get to a better place, we carry those skills for life. There’s no saying whether we will ever get triggered again, but what we can do is make sure we are prepared, so we can get ahead of it early and stay strong!

Sometimes when I stopped getting anxiety from a trigger I got worried that it meant I was okay with the thoughts, but in reality it meant that I was able to no longer let it control me and eventually was able to let it pass. 😊

@NOCD Advocate - Casie David I hate pocd! I hate it with every inch of me it makes life miserable

I’m happy to hear you are getting treatment after years of struggling! Doing ERP in the beginning can be difficult, like resisting a scratch, but when we resist is when that spot heals. It comes with practice! Over time as you work with your therapist, you will start to recognize what your “tell tale” signs are. That sense of urgency, spiraling thoughts, compulsive thinking and behaviors, etc. I used to spiral for hours before I would tire myself out, but I became better at recognizing I was slipping into it and ‘mentally’ walking away. At first I had to distract myself, resist talking about it to seek reassurance, but eventually it comes naturally and feels very relieving to do. Remember to be patient and kind to yourself, what you’re going through isn’t easy! Even if it’s not 100%, celebrating the steps to get there is so important and deserves to be recognized!

I appreciate you being so open with me! I am so sorry you are going through this. As scary as it is, you’re not alone. There’s others that I’ve known with similar intrusive thoughts who have gotten better. I don’t want to give you reassurance because I know how dependent I used to be on it, but there is hope that you don’t have to live like this. Finding the right care and working with therapists like ours that have a deep understanding of intrusive thoughts is so important, and from there you can learn how to manage and let them pass. Don’t give up on yourself!

Hi Trish, I understand a lot of what you are saying, and there is no shame in being afraid to take that step to get better. OCD makes us terrified of change and uncertainty. Especially if you have been living this way for 37 years, I can imagine the idea of feeling a different way can be a lot! You being here and “dipping your toes in the water” is a huge step. I went back and forth so much in the beginning and finally told myself I have to try. Even if I don’t think I can fully get better, maybe I can get half better? It wasn’t what I wanted but the most optimistic I could be at the time. I’m grateful I took even that step, because ERP was really what I was missing to get my OCD symptoms under control. It made a huge difference in my overall recovery and even helped my depression clear up after a lot of my OCD symptoms began improving. I never would’ve expected to be where I’m at today, but sometimes it does take that leap of faith! You owe it to yourself to try and see what happens. It’s okay if it’s not perfect, rarely is anything we do ever perfect, but it can be great with the right support. We are here for you whenever you are ready to try, Trish. 😊❤️

@NOCD Advocate - Casie David I think that is it, I don’t really want to stay this way because it is quite simply pure hell a lot of the time. But I’m also afraid of what better will look like. Who that person will be. What changes will happen with that person. And all of the what if’s. What if it is not what I think it will be being the biggest. All I can see right now though is all the ways that I am failing in trying to get better. Not being able to get myself to do the erp exercises as much or last week at all. Also I’m not getting myself to go to the places that I want to, like church, or to see the people that I want to. So much fear & I hate it. Maybe that is what needs to change, the way I think of it as getting fully better & what I think that means to me. Becuase right now that seems like an unattainable goal. And then I set myself up for failure when I can’t do every little thing along the way well. I do believe that this could be the missing piece in me being able to get better. I have been trying to get better through therapy for 11 years. I have a childhood trauma piece of the puzzle as well. So I have been in therapy for 11 years & it was only six months ago that a psychiatrist provider mentioned the possiblity of me having ocd. So I’m a little mad too that nobody ever caught this earlier. I want to get better. But maybe I need to not think so big of what better looks like. So that then I can see the littler steps I am taking to get there.

@Trish1014 It sounds like a lot of fear around the uncertainty is keeping you in this place, Trish. Do you think having a phone call together would help? I would be happy to set something up for you and maybe hearing a bit about my experience and discussing what steps you can start with might be beneficial. We are also offering discounted rates until the end of May for mental health awareness month! Maybe we can help you get a feel for what better may look like. ❤️

@NOCD Advocate - Casie David I am seeing a therapist here for the ocd. For about 5 months I think. It has been taking me quite some time with it to really get going & see that the thoughts don’t have to hold such power as I give to them. I’m refocused now & doing my best to really be consistent with doing the erp exercises & trying to interrupt my thoughts when I catch them being ocd ones. I’m trying.

@NOCD Advocate - Casie David Hi Trish and thank you so much for reading and replying to my post. Someone form the NOCD team contacted me and explained the process of talking to a therapist and discussed cost of ERP sessions , they also mentioned that there is a discount until the end of May. I would have loved take up the offer but to be completely honest , I cannot afford to pay for the sessions even with the discounted rate 😞 as I am single mum with minimal wages . I would love to chat as I have so many questions and fears but unsure if you can help me without being able to pay for the sessions 🙏🙏🙏

Hi HJOx! It didn’t happen for me with every same sex, but often enough that it was “nagging”. I identify as bisexual myself, and oftentimes my OCD will pressure me with intrusive thoughts about my current relationship and asking me “are you sure?” With my sexuality. I love being able to say “I don’t know!” back at it! It took some time and practice, but I love that where I’m at now means I don’t have to have all the answers, and that’s okay. 💗