- Date posted
- 3y
ROCD
Most of my thoughts during the day are about rocd. But if I spent 5 minutes without thinking of them or thinking of my girlfriend my mind tells me that I’m falling out of love. What do I do?
Most of my thoughts during the day are about rocd. But if I spent 5 minutes without thinking of them or thinking of my girlfriend my mind tells me that I’m falling out of love. What do I do?
You are definitely not alone! ROCD can be a common OCD. theme. Remember that OCD often latches on to the things we care about and value most. Sit in the discomfort as hard as it is. Will you ever be able to give OCD a 100% certainty? Nope, so I say, stop even trying.
If it makes u feel any better you are not alone
Sweet Jesus... I feel your pain. I do the same damn thing! If im not thinking about my wife 24/7, it may as well be the end of the world.
Yes!!! It feels like I’m always analyzing my thoughts
I know that it’s not realistic, it’s just rocd is a SOB
Sometimes when it comes to OCD and these thoughts you need to risk it. Maybe you are falling out of love maybe you’re not, you don’t know, now you’re doing other things and isn’t your job to figure it out but to focus on your values and what is in front of you. Responding differently to those thoughts and feelings can be a start. If you’re not familiar how you can start doing that there is content out there in NOCD YouTube and other channels (from licensed clinicians/ therapists specialists in OCD rather coaches). I find Nathan Peterson really helpful for instance.
Hi! Those thoughts are going to continue to be there but if you practice ERP, even if the thoughts do arise, you'll be able to respond to them differently. I was watching a video by Chrissie Hodges recently and she notes that it's impossible for us to fight with our brains. What happens with people who have OCD is that once something is deemed as a threat, your brain will continue to pay attention to it because your brain labelled it a threat. For example, something who has a taboo thought about a kid will begin to notice every single kid they come across now and it'll be exhausting even though all of the kids would have been there anyway. The OCD brain will just make someone notice it all the time. In your case, now that your brain has labelled falling out of love as a threat, you'll notice every moment you don't think about your gf. People without OCD have these thoughts but the brain dismisses them quickly because they don't have OCD telling them it's scary and your brain isn't going to pay attention to a scary thought. ERP helps to retrain our brains so our brains no longer feels these thoughts are a threat. So the best thing to do is to continuously apply ERP. Here is the video link I mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rEgmqqN618&t=545s and here is an article about how you can respond to thoughts: https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/how-to-respond-to-unwanted-obsessive-thoughts/#:~:text=There%20is%20no%20one%20right,if%20you%20wish%20to%20entertain. you got this :)
your brain isn't going to pay attention to a thought that's NOT scary. Sorry typo.
no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.
How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
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