- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Look at OCD like a toddler having a tantrum over not getting another cookie: The toddler’s already had 2 cookies but wants 2 more, so the toddler starts having a tea trim to get what he wants. But as a parent, do you give him 2 more cookies to make him stop? Some parents do but other parents absolutely don’t because they know that’s reinforcing the bad behavior. It’s the same for OCD: don’t give into its silliness and tantrums or else you’re reinforcing its bad behavior.
Absolutely. I like that. It is like a little child. A very manipulative, trouble causing child. As adults, we wouldn't stoop to the point of getting into arguments and fights with kids. Why give OCD the attention. Some might think it helps to feel better, but you are right, it just reinforces it and gives it more power.
Unfortunately, that is the nature of the beast. The OCD beast can really push you to the edge at times. It can make you feel like you no longer have control over your own mind. Oddly enough, it was at one of these points that I made the biggest breakthrough in overcoming the beast. I felt like I could no longer deal with the constant uncontrollable ruminating. I literally gave up and surrendered to the OCD, thinking it would take full control, but to my surprise, it actually starting getting better instead. Strange, but it was then that I realized you cannot overcome OCD by fighting it. Only by accepting it and learning not get caught up in it's drama can you really make progress over it. Have you ever tried ERP to help with your OCD?
I did briefly but I plan on trying it again. I will need to take it slow though because I am pregnant and I don’t want to get too high up in my heierachy during pregnancy.
@Songbird27 Thank you so much!
@kels89 - Congratulations. Is this your first? You never really know how OCD will affect someone when they are pregnant and after they have the baby. You may see it creep up in severity. Good time to start back ERP then. ERP can be effective in a short time to some extent, but it does require you to be willing to face uncomfortable feelings, however, I would rather face uncomfortable feelings for a short period of time in order to develop the skills to manage the OCD where it is no longer a major problem, then to avoid ERP and live with the distress OCD creates for the rest of my life.
@NOCD Therapist - Rex P. I absolutely agree. This will be my second. I have a three year old son as well and I went through this when I was pregnant with him and also postpartum. Thank you for your support, I am scared to do ERP but I know it will help.
I can relate to that analogy ALL too well. 😆 thank you
You’re welcome! Ah, toddlers… 🤣🤣
My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.
That's what OCD feels like. Especially the constant questioning and doubt and the more you do it, the more you doubt yourself and it ends up leaving you open for other 'attacks'. I left the house today with my mom to run errands and things were fine, like my intrusive thoughts weren't bothering me that much in the beginning though they're constant in the background. Then when we stopped to get a drink from this store before leaving, I got more anxious because there were lots of kids around (it's afternoon here and i guess school was coming out). Kids were walking around in school uniform and I just told myself to keep looking away because i knew that my intrusive thoughts were going to flare up. Obviously that just made it worse and I just wanted to run away and crawl into a hole or something. Then a few minutes passed and then my brain said what if you were leering at the kids or looking at them inappropriately. And then my brain kept telling me that I wanted to or must have filmed one of them even though it's not something I want to do and know deep down that I didn't do it and don't want to. Ever. I just felt so disgusted with myself, I had to stop myself from crying on the way home. I hate this disease and I hate that its made its home in my head.
So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out rn I’ve been getting thoughts like “I’ll be a bad mum” and overthinking everything & my OCD is convincing me that I’ll act on my thoughts because of my hormones and stuff. I’ve also got a fear of being sick & I’m stressing over that too. Anyone else who has harm OCD pregnant or a Mum can give me some advice pls😭
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