Me & my ex broke up a week ago but he sort of triggered me into remembering every lie I have ever told. I haven’t lied in like a year lol I feel so bad lying and I mean like big lies of course. And he called me a liar and dumped me cuz I lied a year ago about a detail of my past. Anyway, I’m sitting here & we’re going to have a talk about stuff and try to end it on good terms I’m assuming but I can’t help but feel so disgusting and awful and like a horrible person. I’m remembering another lie I told him when he kept interrogating me for months when we started to talk again about a guy & I lied about it. I want to bring that up for my own comfort of knowing I’m not just sitting here being dishonest. But idk if it’s an ocd urge or a selfish urge to clear my name and conscious or because I genuinely want to clear my name. I know it may do more harm than good but we already broke up idk what I have to lose? I do want us to be together again some day and I do see how we shouldn’t right now but I feel if I just start spitting everything out then it’ll just make him look at me even worse than he already does. I only lied also about my past because he used to lie so much and when we started to talk again I was so used to that prior relationship I thought it was ok to keep it to myself, I didn’t really have that option to say “it’s not ur business” I’m 25 now so I’ve grown a lot since then. Idk… I feel like shit

I have/am experiencing almost the exact same thing- I told my partner (ex now at this stage) a lie (a lie I continuously told him for a little while at the start of our relationship, I even dragged him over the coals about doing the thing I was lying about because I was so ashamed) and I spun into such a dark place and was so disappointed in myself when I didn’t need to lie at all. I think at the end of the day, we’re human and it’s so normal for us to make mistakes, as long as we learn from them. This lie I told was like 5 years ago and I felt as though I needed to bring it up now and clear up my wrong doing because I was so flustered and upset and obsessed with this lie and thoughts around it. I genuinely believed I was the worst person in the world. Unfortunately it ended the relationship for the time being but fortunately it has forced me to look into my ocd and try to learn the tools to assist day to day living with it. My best advice is to take a breath, understand people make mistakes and just focus on forgiving yourself and moving forward. No one has a pristine, perfect life or relationship, it’s bloody hard work!

He broke up with me over it and then after 4 days calmed down and wanted to try and help me through the ocd of it all and the relationship, however, this is completely situational to my circumstances. When he did contact me after that 4 days I had the exact same urge to tell him more things I had done wrong and it created a more tense environment for us both which just made me realise I’m not exactly available mentally or emotionally to be with someone at the moment as I’m not doing the work on myself. My personal opionion is, speak with a close friend/mum/anyone you trust about this thing you’re worried about and just see their view on it and see if it’s worth saying something. If the lie won’t effect the relationship then there isn’t a huge harm in just keeping it to yourself and learning for next time to be honest because that’s something you clearly value which is a very beautiful trait. Don’t beat yourself up over it, absolutely everyone lies, it’s how you learn from these things that matter! If you think it’ll make you feel better, then do what you need but if it’s something you won’t even think about in 5 years time then it isn’t worth stressing about now (easier said then done, lol gotta love ocd). Not sure what experts would say about this but I find with my ocd it can be all consuming for so long and I feel as though I need to prove who I am as a person- it’s an opportunity at the end of the day to go deeper within yourself and know that you have such a big caring beautiful heart and things will be okay either way and you’re a great person! Hope this helps!!

I guess I’m having trouble with the whole “some things are better left unsaid thing” lol I feel normal people can differerante what’s right to say and what’s wrong