Is this OCD?

He kissed a girl while we were unofficial but a day after he said I love you . I felt we were exclusive based off of things. He acted out of unofficial vs official. Thought because we were single it was ok and if he knew it would have hurt me he wouldn’t have did it he said it was silly meaningless kiss and he wanted nothing with this person. I know he’s telling the truth because he would have lied to me about it but he didn’t . Unfortunately I found out 7 months into the relationship plus he has “no type” and is attracted to women I never ever thought he would be and I think it’s really disgusting . Even in my last relationship I felt this way. So before enter ing this one I told myself no cheating or ones that like these women and here I am …. He didn’t “cheat” but it feels like it. I have been spinning and crying and anxious for over a year now. After I found out I would rotate between that , the women and a transparency thing for a whole year every single day. Asking friends for advice , talking to him , crying , texting all day, even googling . Now I started chat gpt for advice. Whenever I hear it’s ocd I feel relieved but don’t believe it and when I hear it’s wrong relationship I cry uncontrollably and don’t want to believe that either I left him 2 months ago but I’m still in the same position because I love him so much I know he’s a great guy , he tried so hard to make me feel comfortable and he loved me so much but I couldn’t stop spinning . I want to get ba k with him but just picture anxiety forever and questioning am I in love , am I settling , am I forcing this , is this ocd or wrong relationship , could I be happier elsewhere , I can’t see him without feeling anxiety or seeing the kiss but then i can’t picture myself ever loving someone again like him . Our love and connection was so strong . I feel in another relationship as soon as something happens I’m going to want to leave and truly regret leaving my ex . What do I do. I’m starting erp but it’s so confusing to me and I feel like it won’t help and I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I hate waking up everyday because I’m so sad and miserable. Please help me (edited)

My partner broke up with my about 10 months ago. It came out of nowhere, and I got no explanation before they ghosted me and blocked me on all forms of contact. I have been horribly struggling since then with this obsessive need for closure. For a while I continued to try to reach out to them, on my own accord or through other people, but it just kept ending with more blocking. For months, I was going through the relationship and the breakup in my head over and over, picking it apart to try and figure out what went wrong, but without a conversation with my ex, I couldn't get anywhere. I am definitely doing much better now. the compulsions to reach out to her and the spiral obsession with figuring out what went wrong have both lessened. but they are still present, especially when I sleep. I really just want to be rid of the whole situation, but i want to do it in a healthy way without locking up my feelings. i really am at such a loss though. i still want answers and i still miss my ex in a lot of ways, but at the same time, the though of running into them scares the shit out of me. ive heard some horrible things about them since then, and how they have been spreading rumors about me behind my back. the situation cant seem to get any worse and it just keep happening. and it makes my ocd triggers so much worse too. idk, i will take literally any responses and any helpful advice.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer and it was really rough on me even thought we only dated for a little while. He treated me terribly but I guess I wanted it to work. However during the fall I was healing well and met my current boyfriend. I knew him as a kid and we reconnected and started dating. It’s the most WONDERFUL relationship ever and I love him so much. However for the past couple months, on and off, I have been obsessively thinking about my ex, to the point of feeling so sick to my stomach. Just the thought will do it. I have been stopping myself from checking his instagram because that just makes it worse. I do not want me ex back at all and I am so happy now. I recognize these thoughts as intrusive and hurtful. I just want them to stop and be in the moment. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did u do? Also, I want to tell my boyfriend about this but I am unsure on how to do so.