I can’t seem to do anything right anymore. I’m losing friends and people so quick and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. My OCD is not helping because I overthink everything. They left without a reason or at least they left without telling me why. Obviously I’m the problem.
I had the same happining to me, k, I even got ghosted by friends, I suppose I had not been fun to be with anymore... One friend had the guts to tell me, that she wants to focus on the good things in life, apparently, I wasn't a good thing
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My sister told me that... :( It really stung, she should know better, than most... I told her, that I hit rock bottom and that I have no idea where to go from here and all she said, was that she hit rock bottom, too, having three kids and two jobs...
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Hm, I have no one left, apart from a few friends I met online, but no one I know offline... it's really hard, being alone all the time, Christmas, birthdays, etc.
@Greenpastures Thanks... But I decided to cut toxic people out... Better totally alone, than allowing others to abuse me...
@Greenpastures I do regret cutting them out sometimes, as I have no one to hang out with... and I'm scared to go to a restaurant alone
Adults only as pocd mentioned I'm still thinking abt all the friends online who have unfollowed me,some cases even i think softblocked or fully blocked me. My brain is convinced that I must have done something gross and predatory or I did something racist or in general bigoted and they came to terms with it and left me. I can't stop thinking abt it. I just remembered checking an old discord for a fandom I was in when I was 17,half the people there had unadded me when we were friended and possibly even blocked,I hadn't talked to a lot of them in a long time though,but I thought we were on good terms. I think we also used to follow eachother on tumblr but before I made a new tumblr I remember not seeing their posts after some point and I can't remember if it's just bc I wasn't on much or i unfolloed or I got blocked. I feel I must have done something awful. One of my worst fears is people i care abt or was friends w leaving me and not telling me why,I have so much stuff I did on the internet I feel regret abt and it could be any of those things,as i mentioned i cant stop goint thru old messages and there have been times ive seen me make like a nsfw joke as a teen in a group chat or me not react negatively when someone else in the chat does something weird . I'm constantly scared who the next old friend i have will suddenly disappear one day,letting me wonder if I did something hurtful or predatory or bigoted to them or someone they know. I have so much stuff I regret a lot when i was younger,I have so much stuff I wanna confess but I'd be here all day and I'm bound to forget something then remember it later and spiral.
i feel like i hate my friend and that i want to stop being friends with her. it feels like i desire it or get relief when i think about unfriending everyone. it makes me feel awful because this came out of nowhere and i have no reasoning for this because they’re all really nice to me. there’s not any red flags or anything. it feels like i want to send a message ending the friendships i have and i don’t know what to do.. everytime i talk to them now i get reminded of all of this and feel so guilty. i don’t even know if this is ocd or not because i haven’t even been diagnosed. idk what to do :( it hurts even more because when i think about if i would regret it, i don’t think i would..
I used to be able to determine what was my OCD and what’s real life but now it’s all just blending together. I literally can’t tell what’s true between what’s not true. my overthinking is absolutely terrible and rituals and everything is just crumbling.
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