Username: Jerseyshore13

Date posted: 2y ago

Please read/Sexual Intrusive Thoughts. HOCD?

Okay it seems I have a new theme, if this even is a theme? I love my husband very much and I know I am not into the same gender. I have no desire to be with the same gender & I never did. But lately I’ve been getting so inside my head because I have compulsive staring and sexual intrusive thoughts which started postpartum towards my baby then quickly snowballed. I then started having sexual intrusive thoughts towards other females and males. It makes me feel weird and perverted. Where I worry is if same sex thoughts/images pop in while being intimate with my husband or during self pleasure because this has happened before. Also, I am freaking out thinking that if I think another female is pretty it means I’m attracted to her? I mean I am sure we all have thoughts like that when we look at other women right? “Oh she’s pretty.” “Oh she has nice hair.” “Oh she is really in shape and has a nice body.” Or are these thoughts weird? I can’t stop overthinking this. It’s like this started as sexual intrusive thoughts postpartum, then POCD, then sexual intrusive thoughts towards others, to me feeling like a weirdo and perverted, and now I can’t stop obsessing. I need to emphasize here that I would never hurt a child. I would never want to make anyone uncomfortable with my compulsive staring. I am very much in love with my husband and never have I ever thought of being with the same gender. It’s not something I desire. I love my husband, I love my family. I care deeply about being a good mom, a good wife & an overall good person.

Username: JDmcnugentJDmcnugent

Date posted: 2y ago

None of those thoughts are weird or perverted at all. Both genders should be able to be commented on how good they look and it doesn’t have to do with your sexuality. Sexuality isn’t even always based on how attractive someone is to you either, it’s more about who you prefer mating with and we don’t want to sleep with everybody we find attractive. I’m a straight man and I may think a man is very attractive and good looking, but I can never see myself actually sleeping with them since it doesn’t go with what my body wants to do. You’re in the clear!

Username: Jerseyshore13Jerseyshore13

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for that! Any advice on the compulsive staring?

Username: airbearairbear

Date posted: 2y ago

Those are totally normal thoughts, I notice when someone is attractive but I know it doesn’t mean I actually want to be with them.

Username: edutyeduty

Date posted: 2y ago

Sexual intrusive thoughts are so distressing . I’m a mom too, and I won’t list POCD on my profile because I’m afraid people will think the same- that I’d want to hurt a child. This has to be the worst subtype for me personally. I feel for you.

Username: edutyeduty

Date posted: 2y ago

As for thinking sexually about other women… I do, too. But I would never in real life either.

Username: Jerseyshore13Jerseyshore13

Date posted: 2y ago

It’s the worst subtype for me as well. There’s just an extra level of shame I find associated with it.

Username: edutyeduty

Date posted: 2y ago

@Jerseyshore13 Agreed!

Username: Jerseyshore13Jerseyshore13

Date posted: 2y ago

@eduty What helps you not obsess over this so much? I never did prior to my ocd flare up postpartum. I’m very happy with my husband and have no desire to be with the same gender.

Username: edutyeduty

Date posted: 2y ago

@Jerseyshore13 I let the same sex thought happen rather than fight it. I observe it , let it be. When I fight it, it makes it worse for me.

Username: Jerseyshore13Jerseyshore13

Date posted: 2y ago

@eduty Same with the thoughts towards other women?

Username: edutyeduty

Date posted: 2y ago

@Jerseyshore13 Oh, sorry. That’s what I was talking about. Letting the thoughts about women happen.

Username: edutyeduty

Date posted: 2y ago

@Jerseyshore13 With the other thoughts … I don’t like to let those play out. They’re too gross. But I find that the common theme in them for me is a fear of someone else hurting my kids. So, I let the thought happen but try and take my kid out of the picture and replace them with a kid I made up and don’t know. It’s still distressing but not as much. I find that since I’ve started doing that, I don’t have them pop up in my mind as much.

Username: MillerbmMillerbm

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I have been dealing with the exact same thing since my pregnancy a year ago!! I also know I am deeply in love with my husband and love my family, but it’s like my intrusive thoughts and feelings make me feel distance and weird. I’ve always had OCD, but never like this where I started questioning my identity of any kind. I know during my pregnancy, I was so so scared of not loving my husband, but I knew it was hormones or I tried to tell myself that and now I’m dealing with this. Stay strong! We will get through this!

Username: hihey

Date posted: 4y ago

I’m new to this app and just wanted to share my story. As a young girl I definitely had compulsions. My mom always told me she would take me to a psychiatrist (I would cry when people sat on my bed). Anyways, as I got older I definitely grew out of a lot of things. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD but I have GAD. I know I definitely have OCD because I have done a lot of research. Recently I have really, really been struggling with HOCD. I’ve never experienced this before, and that’s why it’s making it more scary. I’m a young adult woman and have been in a very serious relationship with a male for many years. I love him so much. I am also very athletic and not very girly. I always loved the fact that I was a guys gal, but lately it has made me super insecure. A lot of people at school assume I’m bisexual because I’m super pro LGBTQ rights and idk? Idk why I give off that “vibe”. It never bothered me, I always thought it was funny, and I have no issue with being gay, but I’m definitely not?! During this quarantine my guy friends have said I have way way more guy friends than girl friends, someone asked my teammate if I was bisexual, and I have never had an orgasm from my boyfriend. It started really getting in my head and I keep being like “am I gay and that’s why I don’t orgasm”. This seems so pathetic and writing this actually helps and makes me realize there is no way I like women. But anyways THE THOUGHTS DO NOT STOP. I keep worrying that I do not know myself, and maybe I don’t love my bf, and maybe other people see something I don’t. Anyways, how can I help myself? I am noticing I’m reassuring and checking and starting compulsions

Username: screwuOCD

Date posted: 4y ago

So I am a married woman to my wonderful husband m. I deal w it h HOCD and ROCD & a bucket list of other things. I will randomly start to worry and wonder “oh god what if I’m gay?” “Am I gay?” And so on and so forth. I have been doing therapy and I don’t have many images any more. But I still get these stupid intrusive thoughts. I feel like such a shi$&y wife because I can sit here and tell you 100% I’m not gay at any point. But it’s like a fear or doubt that I could be in denial. I was raised with a strict upbringing and my sister is gay. The 1st time I had these thoughts was 3 years ago right after we got engaged and I could have ripped my heart out I felt so horrible. I feel that if you were in denial then you would know. Mine is I’ll be looking out a window and it’s like a bomb explodes in my brain. Anyone else deal with this? Also my OCD has started to pick on me about having a baby. My husband and I have been married 2 years and together for 5. “How do you know that you’re ready? What if you can’t have kids? What if you do have kids and it dies? What if it pulls you and him apart?” I mean OCD you’re a real SOB.

Username: Danny2003

Date posted: 45w ago

I'm having Sexually intrusive thoughts about my GF.

Hey, well, this is my first time ever posting in here but I figured why not? I’ve been struggling with this issue for almost three months now and it’s been a constant battle, I guess I just really need some support, so almost a year ago now, I got in a relationship and I realized I may be Asexual since I didn’t really have any sexual desires towards my partner, starting late November though, I began to have these intrusive images in my head of us having sex. These thoughts have caused me a lot of anxiety and stress as well as depression. It’s weird, I know deep down in my heart I don’t desire any of that with her but the thoughts feel so real at times and sometimes that makes me feel like I want the thoughts. I’m pretty much lost at this point and don’t know if whether it is OCD or if I’m just in denial. The thing is, I don’t want to see her that way, she doesn’t want to ever engage in any sexual activity and I want to respect that and respect the decision we both made to never do so unless it’s to have a baby. I just feel a sense of doom I guess, I’m scared that I might like the thoughts when I don’t want to like them. I’d feel so much guilt if it isn’t OCD and it’s actually me, and the thought of that terrifies me. I hope every day it’s OCD.

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