Intrusive thoughts

Yea I’m scared I won’t be able to handle a certain emotion or feeling I or if something bad happens and that I’ll just hurt myself to end it but I’m scared of that

I’m in it right now for the first time ever, I think it might be helping but sometimes I don’t get triggered during an exposure so I worry and wonder if it’s even ocd or not

@livefornow Is it helping you ? I wana get to a point where I don’t think or wonder about this stuff every day ugh

@livefornow Do you ever go thru flare ups when it’s bad and your anxiety is like affecting your sleep and appetite and every day tasks ? That’s how I was a few weeks ago so it’s really scary to think of being like that forever or getting worse

@livefornow Are you busy ? I’m having a hard moment

@NrseKris What do you do when it feels real like your about to act on a thought or impulse what if I wana do it

@livefornow That’s exactly how I felt it felt like I was going to get up and grab a pill bottle on impulse !!! The feelings were so strong . I’m alone with my son and don’t wana do that to him it’s scAry I started wondering if I needed to call a crisis line

@livefornow Why does it feel so real

Yeah it makes me scared to be alone

@livefornow I’ve been dealing with this for almost 2 years

@livefornow Mine got better when I was on lexapro but I don’t want to stay on those

@livefornow I think right now I’m just scared to be happy

I get scared sometimes what if it’s not what if it’s depression

@NrseKris I feel ya there. I was doing better and had a bad weekend last weekend

@livefornow I wana keep seeing more specialist but that’s probly compulsive . I have the biggest fear of depression

@livefornow Did she have any tips that you can share with me that might help pls

@livefornow This seems like good information I’m going to screen shot this and save it because todays kinda rough I keep working what if I really am depressed and never get better

@livefornow Does it ever feel real for you like what if this is actually true and you are feeling that way

@livefornow How are you today ? Sometimes I feel like that thoughts start as soon as I wake up or when I wake up I “check” to see if I’m “depressed” or have thoughts ..?

@livefornow I’m alright I noticed I was checking and ruminating I have covid and slept in a little so I was like what if I slept in late because I’m depressed , and then if I’m feeling okay I think what if I start feeling really bad again 😑I hope this gets better

@livefornow Any little thing I feel I worry if it’s depression ugh I wana get over this

@NrseKris I’m the same way. It’s torture! But I’m trying to stay in a positive headspace

@Natalia D I was even watering my plants right now and I got the thought “what if there’s no meaning in any of this” and I started getting anxious now I’m worried I don’t care about anything

@NrseKris I feel ya there. I’m gardening right now and am enjoying the sun but there is a sinking feeling there all the time like this little bit of doubt

@Natalia D Yea same here like it’s always lurking in the background a little bit that’s why I feel like I have to stay on my toes or stay prepared for it’s return or get worse 😑

@Natalia D Do you think we can recover from this

@NrseKris I think we can! It just takes patience. I had a few good weeks and this week as been bad

@Natalia D Yea I was doing better for like 8 months and I had a set back in March and it’s been going since then but starting to have more better days but I’m scared of it never getting better or what if this is depression now and not ocd or if I’m mentally unstable

@NrseKris I feel you there. Today I have like 5% energy. I think I need to just take time off from work

There has to be a way to change our brains I’m determined to recover there has to be a way 🥺😓

But when I’m feeling a little better I start worrying about feeling bad again or I think back like dam you were really bad how did you survive that what if it happens again 😩😒or I think like what if I can’t handle the “suffering “

Yea I started and I feel like I was doing well but today really got to me maybe because I drank alcohol yesterday ?? Idk but now I feel back to square one

I’m scared I’ll never be able to live a normal life I wana date and do normal things and I feel like I can’t with this

I started talking to a guy and I’m scared the ocd will ruin it or if he knew he’d think I’m psycho

I wanted to throw my pills away I left to come to the pool cus I didn’t wana be home with the pills and I still wana throw them out when I get home but then I started thinking what if I swallowed all my cleaning products ????

Aw you did ? I wanted to stop but I thought okay maybe I can have a few but yea maybe the alcohol is making things worse ?? Congrats on 39 weeks. I feel like i would miss alcohol but maybe I have to give it up forever 🥲

@livefornow The day after is usually worse for me too perfect example is today… thoughts and feelings seem louder and stronger. I’ve had panic attacks in the past while being hungover . Ugh I just wana be normal 🤕🥲

@livefornow I just always wana feel peace and calm cus I’m scared I can’t handle anything else even tho I’ve been doing it off and on the last 10 years 😒

@livefornow Do yo I think it’s considered ruminating if it seems like I’m thinking about the topic all day ? I’m so scared that I’ll get tired or fed up of having these thoughts and then actually wana hurt myself or get bored of living ? That’s what’s scary

@livefornow Makes it feel it could happen

Have you guys ever feared going crazy

@livefornow Same here!

@livefornow That’s kinda my thing today is I’m afraid I’ll just snap my son is 6 and we’re stuck at home with covid and I’m scared he’s gonna annoy me and I’ll just snap and lose control

I just got diagnosed at 32 (this year)

How long did you go without a flare up

@livefornow Maybe slight relationship OCD but suicidal definitely takes the cake for sure for me

@Natalia D Same here I’ve had health anxiety and other stuff but this theme really has a hold on me and won’t let go this and fear of depression

@livefornow It’s been like this for me for a couple of months. I guess it’s the chronic anxiety

@Natalia D Yea sometimes I’m like omg what am I gonna do with all this time today like I get anxious trying to fill in the time

@Natalia D Do you ever fear depression like what if this is a clinical depression

@NrseKris I have mild depression along with this. But I also get depressed just thinking about what I have going on

@NrseKris I try to focus on recovery and the positive in my life

@Natalia D How do we know if we’re depressed or not idk but it scares me so much

@NrseKris Well how are you feeling today?

@Natalia D Idk I guess a little anxious but I question if everthing is depression like if I wana relax or if feel something in my stomach like the knot feeling I just question everything and think what if this is depression

@Natalia D I’m scared of depression cus I’m scared it will lead to suicide

@Natalia D Or never enjoying life ever again

@NrseKris I feel that there. I am burnt out right now and have no energy for anything and worry that’s depression