Ocd and motherhood

This one is the hardest for me. All I do is obsess about “do I want a kid do or do I not want a kid” every single day. I worry constantly about if it’s selfish to bring someone here. I convince myself I’ll just have terrible PP, hurt my child, get it taken away from me, or not be a good mom, etc. Having harm ocd makes it difficult because I think about who am I to think I deserve to be a mom when I suffer with this. I’m at the age where everyone is doing it right now and it will be a decision I make in the next 5 years. Everything about pregnancy triggers my harm ocd. From top to bottom. Yet around kids, I’ve been told I am great with them by everyone and deep down I think I do want a child. Does OCD just attack the things you want/love most sometimes? It legit is making me miserable. I wish I could just let go and let it happen if it’s meant to happen like everyone else does around me. I feel so alone about this one and I feel like it’s ruining my life!!! 😭

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 3y

Yes, OCD often attacks what we value most unfortunately. That is part of what makes it so debilitating for so many people. The good news is that with treatment, the intensity of those thoughts can go diminish.

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

That makes sense. Thank you.

Jess90

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

You are definitely not alone. I’ve been married ten years and struggle with PCOS. I’m 31 years old now and feel so much pressure to have kids or make a decision to not. Just when I felt good about having kids, COVID hit and my doctor adjusted hormones for fertility treatment. I spiraled and they diagnosed me with PMDD, which can be sensitivity to fluctuating hormones that causes extreme mood changes. Now I’m terrified to get pregnant for fear of extreme Post Partum but I deeply want children. I resigned from teaching from the stress while trying to get pregnant. My boss told me that if I can’t handle the stress of teaching, I should probably not have kids because they can be more stressful than teaching. Soon after I took medical leave from the constant anxiety. The whole situation consumes me most days. I’m so sorry to hear you struggle with this too.

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

I’m so sorry! I feel like your boss was a little out of place for telling you that you should not have children because it’s more stressful than teaching. Two of my friends are teachers and they actually said teaching was more stressful than having a child so that’s all a matter of opinion. Try not to let that be a determining factor in your decision. It seems like to me the fact that you care so deeply about a child you don’t even have yet says you’d be a fantastic mom! You can also have a fulfilling life if you choose not to have them too. I’m praying that you have peace in whichever route life takes you! I think we have to remember that PP is a risk any woman takes when becoming a mom. For people who suffer from OCD, we obviously just have a harder time letting these thoughts go. I worry about “what if I don’t love my child” so much when in reality my OCD is just attacking what I value the most. I try to remind myself anyone can get PP and to think of it as something you deal with at the time (if it happens) rather than being afraid of it. Kinda like “cross the bridge when you get there” kind of thinking. Sending you a virtual hug ❤️❤️

Jess90

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@hfair121691 Thank you for your kind words about teaching and kids with what my boss says. I believe you are right that your OCD is attacking what you value. I hope you find peace about your concerns too. ❤️

eduty

Date posted: 3y

Ocd attacks the things you love the most. I am a mom of 4 and I worry a lot about them. Constantly. But I love my life and I love them. I’m a good mom. It’s not impossible. Sending love your way!

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much for the encouragement!!

eduty

Date posted: 3y

@hfair121691 You’re welcome 💙💙💙

Holl1

Date posted: 17w

OCD

So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out rn I’ve been getting thoughts like “I’ll be a bad mum” and overthinking everything & my OCD is convincing me that I’ll act on my thoughts because of my hormones and stuff. I’ve also got a fear of being sick & I’m stressing over that too. Anyone else who has harm OCD pregnant or a Mum can give me some advice pls😭

Harm OCD

Aprilshowers...

Date posted: 17w

My OCD

Please if someone can reply! I really just need someone to talk to. I don’t even know how to control my OCD. It honestly feels like it’s controlling me. Everyday my mind focuses on every bodily sensation I have and it’s like a broken record player, I have horrible health anxiety and my OCD just makes it worst just thinking about it everyday. It feels like everyone who I explain it to looks at me like I’m stupid/crazy. I use to be much more tame with my OCD, I use to eat things without worry, now I can’t even touch things I use to eat without worrying that I’ll get an allergic reaction (despite eating them BEFORE,,,but my mind tells me otherwise) and omg worrying about heart attacks, pulmonary issues..and I couldn’t even enjoy my own child’s birth because my mind was on high alert thinking I would hemorrhage any second or develop pre-E (complications of postpartum) I was miserable for the first couple of months of my baby’s life and I didn’t know what to do. And now, I’m pregnant with my second (4wks) and all the OCD thoughts and anxiety is coming back at me and I have no one to talk to, I feel lonely. And even if I considered taking a pill, I’d worry about being allergic to it and refusing to take it. I ruin everything for everyone. I remember I ate out one night and I started to think “you’re gonna pass out! You’re gonna pass out! (Without ever passing out before) and I had to leave! I feel like I ruin the mood for everyone when I don’t even try to, and I hate it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

Moms with HOCD

I have HOCD and my biggest dream is becoming a mother. However, with my intrusive thoughts/images I’ve stopped trying to conceive. Is there any other people that has been going through this same fear?

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Ocd and motherhood

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