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I'm sorry you have had to deal with OCD. But I'm glad you got a diagnosis and can get on a path to dealing with it better! The world can be a very dark or very hopeful place, depending on our perspective and how we are taking care of ourselves and each other. The first real experience with OCD I can recall was in the 4th grade. I lied to my teacher about something really trivial. I was consumed with guilt, felt very compelled to "confess" to this lie and felt like bad things would happen if I didn't. I broke down in the bathroom, paralyzed with anxiety. I dealt with it on/off for 20 years, mostly in silence, before being diagnosed last year.