- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I get that, I haven’t had much experience besides my partner. We talked about having an open relationship because I was worried like you are. When we talked about it, I started to get nauseous and I realized that I actually wanted to be monogamous. My ocd was telling me that I wasn’t satisfied and things like that
- Date posted
- 3y
We had that exact convo yesterday. He and I have only been with each other and he was having similar feelings about having an open relationship but we talked about it and he realized that he would rather find a way to meet those needs within our relationship while also being allowed to have very minor flirtatious moments with certain folks. The same goes for me. But now it feels like I’m second guessing my whole speech to him about not being polyamorous and how I want us to be monogamous bc I keep getting all these thoughts and sensations that if we were to do this thing, then it would feel so good etc etc and it’s just really odd and scary
- Date posted
- 3y
And I guess it’s hard to only be with one person sometimes and have such an active imagination. I’m scared I secretly want to try other people while being in a relationship with my partner and it’s even scarier bc he said if we both agreed to that then we could do it under our own terms. But I don’t believe I really want that at my core. And he’s very ok with not doing polyamorous things
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@crc_1394 Yeah. I know that when I was fixated on all of that stuff, I couldn’t stop thinking about other people. I think my brain was trying to figure everything out in one day. I think there’s a huge difference between fantasy and reality. There are things that we fantasize about, but in practice, would make us very uncomfortable. Our thoughts don’t hold much weight, and it’s okay to recognize that other people are attractive. I think since we have ocd, we interpret these thoughts and feelings as something we should act on. That’s not actually the case, we should just recognize them and let them be just a thought or feeling
- Date posted
- 3y
@Kiddd I just really hope we can find ways to meet these needs with each other and within ourselves. My bf and I both haven’t been given much attention from other people and I think he needs a little innocent external validation to help with his confidence. He told me in depth that what I provide is honestly the best but that it would help his confidence if people were to notice him a little more since it’s literally never happened other than with me. I’m just scared we’ll have to rely on others for stuff more than what we realize or something. I just wanna be ok with us and ok with the idea that things could be good if they were different (while also not actually doing those things) lol. Sorry I’m rambling
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@crc_1394 I think I felt like I needed more validation because I wasn’t doing things that made me happy and I was bored in life
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
- Date posted
- 22w
Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?
- Date posted
- 14w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
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