- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I get that, I haven’t had much experience besides my partner. We talked about having an open relationship because I was worried like you are. When we talked about it, I started to get nauseous and I realized that I actually wanted to be monogamous. My ocd was telling me that I wasn’t satisfied and things like that
- Date posted
- 3y
We had that exact convo yesterday. He and I have only been with each other and he was having similar feelings about having an open relationship but we talked about it and he realized that he would rather find a way to meet those needs within our relationship while also being allowed to have very minor flirtatious moments with certain folks. The same goes for me. But now it feels like I’m second guessing my whole speech to him about not being polyamorous and how I want us to be monogamous bc I keep getting all these thoughts and sensations that if we were to do this thing, then it would feel so good etc etc and it’s just really odd and scary
- Date posted
- 3y
And I guess it’s hard to only be with one person sometimes and have such an active imagination. I’m scared I secretly want to try other people while being in a relationship with my partner and it’s even scarier bc he said if we both agreed to that then we could do it under our own terms. But I don’t believe I really want that at my core. And he’s very ok with not doing polyamorous things
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@crc_1394 Yeah. I know that when I was fixated on all of that stuff, I couldn’t stop thinking about other people. I think my brain was trying to figure everything out in one day. I think there’s a huge difference between fantasy and reality. There are things that we fantasize about, but in practice, would make us very uncomfortable. Our thoughts don’t hold much weight, and it’s okay to recognize that other people are attractive. I think since we have ocd, we interpret these thoughts and feelings as something we should act on. That’s not actually the case, we should just recognize them and let them be just a thought or feeling
- Date posted
- 3y
@Kiddd I just really hope we can find ways to meet these needs with each other and within ourselves. My bf and I both haven’t been given much attention from other people and I think he needs a little innocent external validation to help with his confidence. He told me in depth that what I provide is honestly the best but that it would help his confidence if people were to notice him a little more since it’s literally never happened other than with me. I’m just scared we’ll have to rely on others for stuff more than what we realize or something. I just wanna be ok with us and ok with the idea that things could be good if they were different (while also not actually doing those things) lol. Sorry I’m rambling
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@crc_1394 I think I felt like I needed more validation because I wasn’t doing things that made me happy and I was bored in life
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?
- Date posted
- 19w
Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
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