Grief and OCD

Grieving the lost time due to OCD is so real. It’s why when I am more stable in my recovery I want to dedicate my life to awareness of this illness and other mental illnesses. What has been hardest for me about this process is that when I was in residential treatment I had this phone call with my uncle. He said when I visited one summer when I was 13 his wife suspected I had OCD. She told my mom but she was in denial of the possibility. And now years later I am suffering from her inaction. Coming to peace with this has not been easy. But I think it caused her too much pain to admit that there was something legitimately wrong. I was so sick. I tried to hide it before it became too much and I just burst. I can’t dwell on “if only” because I can’t get the past back. All I can do is move forward day by day. I do believe I will come to a place of wellness and one day I will be sharing my journey.

Zoë_84

Date posted: 3y

I get that. POCD took 17 years away from me. I gave up on things and people I love and I'm scared, that the loss of life I suffered, will hit me even more, after I recovered. Like - Zoë, you did ERP, why didn't you do that successfully 17 years ago??? Why did you waste so much time of your life!!! You missed out on so much, so much you will never ever get back!!! I'm 38 now, I missed out on most of my sister's kids growing up, I lost friends due to OCD, I lost my partner, who I thought was my partner for life and my cat/the ability to have a cat... But I will cross that bridge, when I get there... First I will recover and then I will make the best of my life, it's never too late!

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

Comment deleted by user

OCD_Lemmonaide

Date posted: 3y

I’m nearing 30 as well. I’ll be 29 next month. OCD robbed me of my childhood. My perfectionism was so severe that I rarely if ever finished my drawings as an elementary school kid. I also agonized over my homework. But what robbed me most of my innocence was when I started having intrusive thoughts about morality and religion. It was hell and I was only a little 13-year-old. I was too scared to speak up about it. Eventually it just became too much for me and I had to, or I likely would’ve done something really terrible to myself. I have compassion on myself now. No child should suffer the way I did. I had a wonderful, beautiful caring mother but her enabling of me was detrimental to my mental health in the long run.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond