- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I suffer from HOCD, in the past I have questioned my secuality and been fine with it, I came to the conclusion that I was straight in the end. I am not the most manly man and this led to my friends insulting me with the insult of gay ( I am 17 and they are immature) this led me to constantly think about what I was doing that made me appear or seem gay and I think this is where my issue started. Me trying to look for why my friends were calling me names triggered a cycle of overthinking which my ocd took ahold of
- Date posted
- 6y
I also heard a quote recently that stated that “OCD latches onto what we fear the most.” I thought that was a very interesting quote.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you both for the clarification! ?
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m not sure if that’s true because some people have it around vomiting and things like that, I would be much more scared of getting aids than being gay. I think ocd takes advantage of current fears or things that you happen to think about quite a bit
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 17w
If you truly aren''t homophobic you wouldn't be afraid of being gay unless in very specific cases of bisexual cycling, what is the difference?
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
- Date posted
- 12w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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