Username: Spring05

Date posted: 2y ago

I feel so angry right now

I pointed out to my mom how she can help by not giving reassurance. She was resistant to this idea and said," I am trying to straighten out and live MY life and I cannot get involved in that pathology you have going there and doctors don't know what the heck they are doing" I understand why she feels this way, but i completely disagree and also find it mildly annoying. What really irked me though was that she then started giving me advice about how to feel better by "embracing my inner child". She said she's had a ton of trauma in her life so she is qualified to speak on this. What does your inner child want? What made you happy from your childhood? At that moment i just wanted her to stop proselytizing about what works for her, but doesn't necessarily work for me right now. So i said I love you mom, but i need to walk away from this conversation right now and go to bed because it's upsetting me. I am an independent adult so my mom is not legally obligated to do anything to help me. I also don't live with her so this is not (fortunately) a daily experience. Don't get me wrong, my mom is amazing in so many ways (and i DO believe that leaning into ones inner child can be liberating), but i find this really saddening that we are so much on different pages when it comes to medicine and doctors.

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

That your mother says she is "trying to straighten out her and life her life" to me sounds a bit selfish of her, tbh... even though you are an adult, she is still your mother, she "made" you and I do think, you can expect some support from her. But no one ever asks me, what I think I need, which kind of help. People press what they think will be helpful on to me and when I don't follow their advice some even get angry. I decided, that I'll do what I think it is right for my life, as I have to life it and because I have to deal with OCD on a daily basis, not them...

Username: ^ - ^^ - ^

Date posted: 2y ago

I would be frustrated too, it sounds like she’s not truly listening to you or your needs at all, and saying she knows you better than yourself. Sounds invalidating. Inner child work is great but that and talk therapy won’t usually fix ocd (as you know). You’re really not asking her for that much so I wonder why she reacted that way. It sounds like you handled it well and I’m sorry you have to deal with that, maybe she’ll take some time to think about it

Username: Spring05Spring05

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for your support

Username: Sero82Sero82

Date posted: 2y ago

Sometimes I'm also frustrated with my mom because I feel like she's not listening. I'm currently learning that I need to do what works for me regardless of her not hearing me out, and I hope that you can push forward and do the same!

Username: airbearairbear

Date posted: 2y ago

That’s how my aunt handles it when I talk to her. She’s all about the inner child and I’m like that’s not always the answer. My aunt gets so triggered by my ocd it’s honestly disgusting and she attacks it all the time and says horrible things to me.

Username: KidddKiddd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

One technique/therapeutic approach isn’t a one size fits all. There are tons of approaches to therapy, it sounds like she is interested in the Freudian psychoanalytic approach which focuses on the first 6 years of your life/childhood. This approach isn’t really the best for many people, and it’s been contested by other theories like Adlerian theory. Also ERP is backed by tons of research with high success rates. I guess you might wish that she would learn some about OCD.

Username: Bocd7Bocd7

Date posted: 2y ago

Sad, but I really think that OCD can understand only who has it. That's why I'm here, on this app. It would be nice if people close to us would at least try to understand.

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

I really am sad, when people get annoyed by me and distance themselves from me, instead of getting annoyed with my illness.

Username: Bocd7Bocd7

Date posted: 2y ago

@Zoë_84 I know, but at least I don't blame myself anymore when they do that. Furthermore, it helps me to know how to deal with it and what kind of relationship I can have with them.

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

@Bocd7 What do you mean by "kind of relationship"? Do you stat away from close relationships?

Username: Bocd7Bocd7

Date posted: 2y ago

@Zoë_84 No, but I learned which relationships are close (and how to build them) and which are not

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

@Bocd7 Do you stay away from superficial relationships then? Superficial relationships, where I feel like I can't be me, stress me a lot and I feel uncomfortable around those people... but at work and with some relatives, I just have to accept it...

Username: Bocd7Bocd7

Date posted: 2y ago

@Zoë_84 Same, yes

Username: Spring05Spring05

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you all for your words. You are much appreciated!!

Username: nka

Date posted: 3y ago

my mom is so upset with me because i don't want to share my intrusive thoughts. I had talked a little to her but she deduced that the thoughts were about wanting to kill someone or kill me. but it is far beyond that. and she is very sad that i don't want to share, HOW am i going to share if my intrusive thoughts involve rape? and she asked if it was about sexual orientation (she's homophobic) i laughed because it wasn't. in a few minutes this will get worse for me. I don't want to talk to her, I want to talk to some therapist.

Username: Spiritsinmyhead

Date posted: 3y ago

My mom walked in and saw me ruminating and she said what are you doing I said I just have unwanted thoughts and she said everyone have unwanted thoughts and i said I know but when you can’t make it go it becomes exhausting she walks out and say just get rid of them you are wasting your time and your future.that really hit hard as I can’t get rid of them and the way she said make it like I want the thoughts,she loves me so much and so do I.sometimes I get headaches because how much I thought and like my head vibrate.sorry I’m writing here but i needed to say that to someone.as I don’t have anyone to speak with.what a pathetic person I’m.

Username: Bryan

Date posted: 3y ago

I have a lot to say to my parents, I am 35 mine started young but hit hard at 16. Why didn’t they get me the help with this I needed growing up?? I could have been cured of this mess this disorder I didn’t have to suffer for 22 years. I feel like a fool like a idiot for suffering all these years I feel like a fool for my past for me trying to “figure myself out” it didn’t have to be like this or like it is for me right now my life could have been so much better and full of love. I am angry both my parents were drug addicts my mom had OCD she didn’t deserve to have kids when my symptoms got severe I turned suicidal my mom decided she wanted a divorce and abandoned us took my bro and sis and left me with her ex. I watched my dad tumble thru the divorce threatens suicide on me 3 times and I watched him put a shotgun in his mouth. All this is coming back up I am 35 now. I can’t stop thinking about the things I saw and the things that happened to me growing up. All this is on the surface now I am dealing with it. It’s all horrible I have been holding all this in for 22 years. I just want to be free and happy 😊. I feel Horrible

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I feel so angry right now

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