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Username: Spring05

Date posted: 2y ago

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Struggling with differing views on mental health support from my mom.

I feel so angry right now

I pointed out to my mom how she can help by not giving reassurance. She was resistant to this idea and said," I am trying to straighten out and live MY life and I cannot get involved in that pathology you have going there and doctors don't know what the heck they are doing" I understand why she feels this way, but i completely disagree and also find it mildly annoying. What really irked me though was that she then started giving me advice about how to feel better by "embracing my inner child". She said she's had a ton of trauma in her life so she is qualified to speak on this. What does your inner child want? What made you happy from your childhood? At that moment i just wanted her to stop proselytizing about what works for her, but doesn't necessarily work for me right now. So i said I love you mom, but i need to walk away from this conversation right now and go to bed because it's upsetting me. I am an independent adult so my mom is not legally obligated to do anything to help me. I also don't live with her so this is not (fortunately) a daily experience. Don't get me wrong, my mom is amazing in so many ways (and i DO believe that leaning into ones inner child can be liberating), but i find this really saddening that we are so much on different pages when it comes to medicine and doctors.

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

That your mother says she is "trying to straighten out her and life her life" to me sounds a bit selfish of her, tbh... even though you are an adult, she is still your mother, she "made" you and I do think, you can expect some support from her. But no one ever asks me, what I think I need, which kind of help. People press what they think will be helpful on to me and when I don't follow their advice some even get angry. I decided, that I'll do what I think it is right for my life, as I have to life it and because I have to deal with OCD on a daily basis, not them...

Username: ^ - ^^ - ^

Date posted: 2y ago

I would be frustrated too, it sounds like she’s not truly listening to you or your needs at all, and saying she knows you better than yourself. Sounds invalidating. Inner child work is great but that and talk therapy won’t usually fix ocd (as you know). You’re really not asking her for that much so I wonder why she reacted that way. It sounds like you handled it well and I’m sorry you have to deal with that, maybe she’ll take some time to think about it

Username: Spring05Spring05

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for your support

Username: Sero82Sero82

Date posted: 2y ago

Sometimes I'm also frustrated with my mom because I feel like she's not listening. I'm currently learning that I need to do what works for me regardless of her not hearing me out, and I hope that you can push forward and do the same!

Username: airbearairbear

Date posted: 2y ago

That’s how my aunt handles it when I talk to her. She’s all about the inner child and I’m like that’s not always the answer. My aunt gets so triggered by my ocd it’s honestly disgusting and she attacks it all the time and says horrible things to me.

Username: KidddKiddd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

One technique/therapeutic approach isn’t a one size fits all. There are tons of approaches to therapy, it sounds like she is interested in the Freudian psychoanalytic approach which focuses on the first 6 years of your life/childhood. This approach isn’t really the best for many people, and it’s been contested by other theories like Adlerian theory. Also ERP is backed by tons of research with high success rates. I guess you might wish that she would learn some about OCD.

Username: Bocd7Bocd7

Date posted: 2y ago

Sad, but I really think that OCD can understand only who has it. That's why I'm here, on this app. It would be nice if people close to us would at least try to understand.

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

I really am sad, when people get annoyed by me and distance themselves from me, instead of getting annoyed with my illness.

Username: Bocd7Bocd7

Date posted: 2y ago

@Zoë_84 I know, but at least I don't blame myself anymore when they do that. Furthermore, it helps me to know how to deal with it and what kind of relationship I can have with them.

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

@Bocd7 What do you mean by "kind of relationship"? Do you stat away from close relationships?

Username: Bocd7Bocd7

Date posted: 2y ago

@Zoë_84 No, but I learned which relationships are close (and how to build them) and which are not

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

@Bocd7 Do you stay away from superficial relationships then? Superficial relationships, where I feel like I can't be me, stress me a lot and I feel uncomfortable around those people... but at work and with some relatives, I just have to accept it...

Username: Bocd7Bocd7

Date posted: 2y ago

@Zoë_84 Same, yes

Username: Spring05Spring05

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you all for your words. You are much appreciated!!

Username: g432

Date posted: 4y ago

Does anybody else feel like their mom just doesnt understand the extent to which u are suffering with ocd and it makes u so upset. Like i told my mom i was cleaning bc nobody else in the house does. She got so upset and said she always cleans. She meant like vacumming and dishes and stuff, but i meant disinfecting bc i have contamination ocd. But she didnt underatmd me and started saying how she always cleans but im just sleeping in too late to see. She was really upset w me. Then i said that she is thinking the worst of me the while time. Then she said that im the one being so judgy.. what?? Like does she even understand this occupies my life. I literally have dreams about it, my whole life revolves around it. Its the only thing i think about.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

So my mom finally listen to me about the whole having-OCD-thing. I tried insinuating I have it by telling her my symptoms in the simplest way possible until she realized it was probably OCD. I lied to her about the kind of thoughts I had because I was so ashamed of them and was on the verge of crying. Then she told me I shouldn't try getting medication for this because she said she didn't "want this to go on my record" and she doesn't want me to go back to the mental hospital even though it could probably really help me, and I enjoyed the stay I had last time. This just kinda frustrates me to be honest, I just want to get help.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Greynocd

Date posted: 2y ago

I've stopped enabling my mom

Her ocd is all about the fear of hospitals, medicine, the government is after us etc.. I was in on it until recently. I'm the eldest in a family of three siblings, I talk to my dad a lot more now that me and my mom don't share the same beliefs anymore. I feel like I'm taking his side in this.. and it feels like I'm causing a lot of conflict between my parents. While my mom's behavior is very controlling (she takes his painkillers, "bad" products, instilles fear) etc. And I was in on this.. I feel bad over having been in on it but yeah. I just blame myself rn for potentially causing a big rupture in my family. It's not my fault.. yet I see her side as we both have ocd. She needs help, and she won't get it any time soon. I'm gonna talk to my therapist. Idk wether to keep the peace (in which my dad is controlled, so it's not really peace) or to "side" with dad. Both feel terrible.

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Struggling with differing views on mental health support from my mom.

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