- Username
- Anxiousashley
- Date posted
- 2y ago
My bf said the same thing! But it ended up being for the better and I found other outlets like this app and I learned to rely on the ERP that is taught with OCD recovery. It has actually improved my relationship greatly to not talk about my ocd every day with my partner. It wasn’t easy at first but we’re in a much better place. I am personally with myself as well. And we still set aside time to talk about my stuff. It’s just not every day all the time. Your partner can’t support you property if you’re draining his helpful energy by not having fun and enjoyable convos. The ocd will try and get in the way and you should try and understand his side as well. I think it’ll help you both to talk about the ocd less.
If he's saying he's not going to reassure you and feed into your compulsions thats a GOOD thing even if it may feel like rejection. Of course we want to be listened to. Thats normal. But not one single can be your emotional/venting trash can. It's possible your husband is feeling burn out from needing to provide daily support. One person CANNOT fulfill all of your emotional needs as a partner, a friend, a therapist etc. It's not healthy for you or your husband. Without more info, its hard to get a clear picture of your situation. But speaking from experience, as I've started therapy for my OCD, I can see a lot of strain my anxiety driven compulsions placed on my own marriage. For me it manifested as defensiveness, apologizing multiple times a day, asking for reassurance that he loved me/I wasn't a bad person etc. My husband putting limits on those things then and now has only helped me.
I actually had a similar thing with my mom. She’s been my main person I go to, but she told me that she’s tired of having deep conversations every single night. I don’t blame her. I struggle heavily with existential ocd, especially at night. But it sucks bc now I just keep it in and it festers in my brain.
Reframe it as you’re asking your partner for reassurance over and over again and he knows that’s not good for you. And honestly? Yes, cut way back down on seeking reassurance. He’s not only helping himself but in the long run, he’s doing you a big favor. I suggest you seek ERP therapy on this app if it’s available to you.
Did you tell him how you feel about that? Keeping that in will make things a lot worse for both of you
Yea he said talking about it only gives it more power, but I feel I need to vent about it. And then he said it (the ocd and anxiety) has become my life. And I’m like- yea kind of. My answers just frustrated him more. It sucks bc he used to be my rock through all of this. Now my main support system seems to be gone. 😢
@Anxiousashley I totally get what you’re going through. Sometimes I feel like I was draining my partner talking about OCD everyday. I almost feel like it was becoming a compulsion and had to take a step back for multiple reasons. I actually feel like talking about it less and in a way “pretending” everything was ok every once in a while actually made me feel a little better. It’s a similar concept to opposite action in CBT
I want to be open with my partner about my relationship anxiety in the moment, but hearing about the heaviness of my feelings time and time again has pushed him away. How do I cope with my ROCD without pushing my partner away? He’s open to hearing me talk about it sometimes but not as often as I do.
Does anyone else have a partner with almost no anxiety/OCD. I guess opposites attract but my gosh it can you make you feel so alone and isolated in the relationship. Or more so just “less than”. The “crazy one”. I’ll even convince myself I’m not good enough for him because he has such good mental health. I’ve been honest about my ocd with him but I’ve never shared with him my intrusive thoughts that are taboo. Especially harm ocd because he literally has almost next to no anxiety (I’m jealous lol) Do you guys think it’s completely necessary to tell your partner everything about your ocd? Confessing is a huge compulsion of mine so it’s difficult to keep it from him but I’m afraid he’d think I am nuts. I am just not ready.
So while I was washing the dishes and my mother came into the kitchen I decided to tell her about OCD and when I talked about it with her she said something to me that is now worrying me and I can’t stop thinking about. She said “what will your boyfriend think about it? He’s probably gonna think you’re too problematic and leave you” now I feel pressured to tell my bf about the OCD I may have but at the same time I’m worried that he’ll want to leave me and think I’m too sad for him. I don’t know what to do. 😓
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