- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
OCD is not a free pass, so his behaviour cannot be excused. It can be hard to deal with OCD, I know it’s hard for me. But it’s not an excuse to hurt or harm another individual. I cannot control how OCD makes me feel, but I can learn tools that help me cope. For me, OCD is distressing, but with therapy I also have the hope of learning how to live with it. I have a very loving relationship with my partner. There is a lot of respect and love on both sides. And that’s because we acknowledge OCD, but we also know that it is not me as a whole person. My partner knows her boundaries and mine and knows to not reassure or accommodate my OCD. I respect my own boundaries and hers and am so grateful for her empathy towards me. It sure isn’t easy, but we have found a path to navigate it as equals. I would never ever justify any bad action on my part with OCD, because that would mean I deflect any responsibility from myself. Your feelings are valid and it’s not okay you were treated this way
- Date posted
- 3y
He just always says he always tells the truth and he’s brutally honest. But when I told him the thing he said to me was too much he keeps trying to change his word. He is always saying he is impeccable with his word like that book the 4 agreement. He also latches onto things I say even in passing like examples in conversation. So it is very contradictory.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
If you are the same anon from yesterday (who has a partner with Rocd and does take accountability for their actions) I would say it sounds like your partner is leveraging their diagnosis to manipulate you at best or excuse emotional abuse at the worst. Harm is harm. If someone lashes out and hurts you, it is NOT ok. You can be not in your right mind for multiple reasons (not sober or dealing with mental illness etc) and while it might provide context or mitigating circumstances, it does not erase the hurt. Apologizing (not excusing) and taking accountability is what your partner should do. This includes future actions they take to not repeat what they've done.
- Date posted
- 3y
He has apologized but in the next breath was saying he was in an ocd fit and had blinders on and wasn’t thinking about my childhood trauma. That my childhood trauma had nothing to do with it. But my therapist says it always does. Just like his trauma informs how I interact with him. It is so hard because I love him so dearly. But this was one of the worst things someone has ever said to me.
- Date posted
- 3y
I say things to my boyfriend all the time because of the anger from my ocd. It’s just very hard 😖 and makes me feel like a bad person
- Date posted
- 3y
But do you feel like there is a line you wouldn’t cross?
- Date posted
- 3y
I mean yeah but I do say things like I hate u and say mean names and words but I wouldn’t say like I want u to die or something like that
- Date posted
- 3y
Do you live with your boyfriend? How long have you been together?
- Date posted
- 3y
We’ve been together for 6 years now and yeah we live together
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:
- Date posted
- 22w
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
- Date posted
- 19w
Tmi warning I was being intimate with my bf and I kept getting the name of someone else pop up, but I didn’t feel anxious. Afterwards, as much as I tried to delay confessing, I couldn’t help it. I confessed. My bf was fine he said I probably didn’t feel anxious because I’ve gotten used to the anxiety and it’s okay, it doesn’t define me any more than it would if I was anxious. A few minutes later, he got upset and said that the confession kinda ruined a blissful moment. I’m so upset that my head feels so turbulent I didn’t even notice it was a blissful moment for him and could’ve been for me. I feel so awful. I haven’t slept in a day, I can’t stop crying. My bf is afraid that because this specific name keeps popping up, it might mean something and he feels less than sometimes because of it. I know I shouldn’t have confessed but I felt so safe that it was like a dam broke loose. I feel so awful. What’s worse is that I’m still scared it means something, I’m scared that my boyfriend’s fear is right. He’s very understanding of OCD and how it manifests in me and everything, I think I just kinda messed up a sacred moment and I feel so much guilt and confusion and just horrendous. I’m not even fully anxious. I don’t know what to do. I apologized a lot but I feel like I don’t deserve him and so selfish
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