Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

Intrusive though about drugs

Hi friends I haven’t posted in a while which is perhaps a good thing haha. I live in an apartment with 3 other girls who I’ve known for many months now since we are all at the same school, and they left for summer break but I still live here. I dropped a spoon on the kitchen counter and licked the spoon cause it had some ice cream on it. Then I had an intrusive thought: “what if there was cocaine on the counter and I just licked it?? Now I can’t take my meds (birth control for hormones, Zoloft for ocd) cause I’m worried that it could react with the cocaine that may or may not be there even though I don’t do drugs and my roommates have been gone for just under a month.” Any suggestions on how I can set this aside so I don’t have to skip a day of meds cause I’m scared?

Angela121

Date posted: 3y

Gotcha gotcha. I was trying to determine if their was some legitimacy to your fear. But I think this is an instance where you can talk back to OCD and say hey, anything is possible but the chances are almost nonexistent so this isn't a thing I have to worry about it. (Obviously ocd doesn't care, but at least you can know its ocd).

Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

Yeah, that’s true. I’m great at identifying when the ocd is trying to take over but unfortunately it doesn’t really give me any power over it like I wish it would 😔

Angela121

Date posted: 3y

Do your roommates do cocaine?

Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

Not that I know of haha They do drink occasionally and one of them likes to party and sometimes comes home drunk but I’ve never suspected drugs

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

Comment deleted by user

Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

Haha I did know it was ice cream cause I was just eating ice cream right before it happened, but I guess I was worried that I couldn’t see the cocaine that I worried was there lmaoooo💀💀💀💀

Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

I’m still really nervous to take my meds

Angela121

Date posted: 3y

From stdaware.com. "Chemically speaking, recreational drugs do not affect how most birth control methods perform. Popular drugs like ecstasy, marijuana and cocaine have been studied for the ways that they interact with birth control prescriptions. Studies have shown that these drugs do not reduce the effectiveness of hormonal birth control. Taking your birth control as directed will reduce your risk of pregnancy by over 99%, even if you are taking recreational drugs." https://www.stdaware.com/q/do-recreational-drugs-affect-birth-control-or-condoms

Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

Hmmm that’s interesting. I didn’t know that. I take birth control for my mood swings and cycle regulation, not as a contraceptive. I also take Zoloft for the ocd. I’m just worried that cocaine could react to those drugs and kill me in my sleep. As I type this, I’m realizing once again that there wasn’t cocaine on my counter. But I feel like since I can’t wake my mom up to ask her if I’m alright, I won’t be alright. That’s how I know it’s ocd. :(

Angela121

Date posted: 3y

If it is helpful, I feel completely comfortable with you taking your medicine. I'm sure you will be anxious. But also it probably won't be the end of the world if you don't. Unless there is a chance of unplanned pregnancy.

Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

Naaaaah I’m abstinent as fuuuuck 😎 But also thank you for the kind sentiments. I will try to sit with the anxiety.

Angela121

Date posted: 3y

Since you don't have a risk of pregnancy, you could also not take it for 24 hours if it feels like an anxiety you are not ready for. I think we all have times we can talk back to our fears and times where we are not ready and you just have to have grace on yourself in those moments. You know its not rational but you choose not to combat the compulsion and that's ok too. You will take the steps you need to. It doesn't have to be all at once. Slow and steady.

Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

That’s true. I was thinking about skipping them tonight but I feel like that’s an avoidance compulsion which I don’t wanna do. I’m so worried that if I don’t take my Zoloft, I’ll have an ocd relapse.

Angela121

Date posted: 3y

Basically what I'm saying choose to take the medicine or choose to not take the medicine. Either way you have control because its your choice . And either way won't harm you. 🙂 My former therapist would say something like that to me sometimes.

Fruitpunch

Date posted: 3y

@Angela121 Hmmm I see. I will think about it and decide when it’s time for me to go to sleep. Thanks so much for talking with me, I really appreciate your time. 🥰🥰🥰

Thejollygian...

Date posted: 23w

My Harm OCD

Basically long story short, ive been dealing with anxiety for a very long time all my life I'm 23 now but about 5 months ago my anxiety started to get really and I overthink a ton and get worried to easily. So my chest hurt for a while from stress at work made me worry why it was hurting, then me worrying and thinking worse case scenarios was making it worse. So i and to go to the doctor and got diagnosed properly with anxiety and I have a med now that I take when I really need it called hydroxyzine but I also have another med that is Zoloft that I have been taking for a about a month now, to help with my intrusive thoughts I have sometimes i only get them when im stressed or when I'm by myself or when i just overthink in general, my loneliness depression is one of the reasons for my anxiety because I wish I had someone as in partner wise to love me and for me to love them. But anyways I've had intrusive thoughts about possibly hurting myself and family, or even my dog. Ive never acted on any of my thoughts in the past and I don't want to but I have had anxiety attacks when everything feels to real and really scares me. I constantly have the thought of am I crazy or am I becoming crazy and stuff and I've done a lot of looking stuff in the past about symptoms but most of them are identical to what anxiety is so it's hard to tell the difference. It's been probably 2 weeks since we last talked. I've been mostly doing good. But I just was wondering if had a little Harm OCD intrusive thought happen yesterday that targeted my Aunt at work she was complaining all day and when it got closer to the end of the shifts for us. I was already annoyed with a situation that happened earlier in the work day. But she came into my department and then went back over to hers and I said it out loud to myself and said you better get back over there or I'll, I tried to say something else because the word I was going to say was kill you. Obviously I don't but that's what my intrusive thought wanted me to say. And made me think thats why i got to hurt her to stop her complaing So the rest of the night I was saying she is safe I am safe I'm control, like this is just anxiety lying to you, it's just because I'm tired and got annoyed earlier. I can't tell if it was working or not because I was so tired and just wanted to go home. But after work her and I spent time together at our house she was on the one couch and I was on the other with a bunch of our dogs in the living room. I tried to keep my mind off of what happened, and I was fighting some stomach achyness already. But I obviously don't want to hurt her and we had conversations just fine. But I went to my other aunt house at night after work to go to bed because she has to watch my aunts dogs because my other aunt and family is on vacation. But anyways I'm trying to get over that word Kill, that word is what is scarring me and sticking. Like my anxiety is lying saying kill, or basically do harm. I don't want to do anything bad but I'm trying to shake that feeling and stickiness of that word. I'm just so scared and worried.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 18w

Medication or supplements

Hiii - hope everyone is having a good day! Has anyone found any type of medication or supplements helpful with thinking sooo deeply about everything and intrusive thoughts? I’m in therapy + doing erp but my brain in this relapse of ocd just thinks sooo deep into my brain and i can’t seem to not to do it pull myself out. Like I’m just paranoid. An example would be if i simply look at my arm I’ll think so deeply about it like what’s under my arm what’s it look like inside etc. but if anyone not in this cycle looks at their arm they’ll be like hmm ok cool my arm and move on w their day. Just looking to see if anyone has had a similar experience of what I’m feeling rn.

baukje

Date posted: 13w

Obsessing about… medication

I am having an appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I am obsessing about what to do with my medication. I think it’s also very ocd like obsessing. I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Ive been on this for years (because of insomnia, anxiety and depression) (15mg) and after we tried to switch to another (amitryptiline) because of nerve pain, I went down the road of insomnia and later on ocd again. So I am back on mirtazapine, and weaning off of the amitryptiline. This is/was a very traumatic experience. Because the switch caused a mental breakdown. Now my psychiatrist has mentioned to up the mirtazapine to 45mg. And my obsessive self has done a lot of research and a lot is saying that the higher the dose, the more you can experience anxiety. And for ocd it’s obviously not the first choice. I am obsessing all morning about it. I am too scared to go up. But I am also too scared to try another and to wean myself of off mirtazapine. I feel stuck at this point. Taking two meds is also not something I want. I could really use some words of encouragement right now I think. 🥹

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