- Username
- panosm
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m going through the same thing. Sometimes my brain even tells me “yeah but you know you’re gay. Just accept it and you’ll feel better.”. Our brains are so powerful. I think the hardest part is that by saying okay whatever brain, I can’t be certain, you think that you have to admit that you’re gay when in all reality, you just have to accept uncertainty and accept that you can’t be 100% sure of anything. It’s scary but we’ve got this!
I'm afraid because it feels so real and something that i want to do...
Yes but I'm afraid i don't have ocd if I just say ok fuck it I'm gay
Don’t say or accept that, accept that you cannot prove you’re not. Accept the uncertainty. That doesn’t mean you’re gay, that means the thought of being gay isn’t scary so your brain doesn’t have a reason to be bothered by that thought anymore
Its all about groinal responses....
I’ve just flat out agreed with my brain and said “Okay I’m gay whatever” and my anxiety went away for brief seconds until I was like “I just know I’m not gay” and them boom, anxiety spiked back up. I’ve been working on trying to accept uncertainty but my brain is like “remember that day you agreed and said you were gay?, no uncertainty for you” it’s literally crazy. I’ve been women crazy all my life until this crap appeared in my life. I used to struggle with other subsets of ocd but nothing like hocd.
Do you have the same symptoms as mine?
I sometimes get groinal responses and even sometimes when I speak to my coworkers I’ll be like “hey you didn’t freak out when talking to them” and then my brain goes “nah you are gay and you like them”
So bad to heard that...i have an obsession with a co-worker to...im constantly looking at him without willing to do...
Panosm- I do get the same symptoms as you. I would say even worse if we aren’t including the groinals
Just push through it. The more real it feels the more you just have to sit with that anxiety til it has no power. Easier said than done, I know.
I feel the exact same way. Having a kinda good day but the thoughts just don’t stop telling me I’m a lesbian
And what about groinal responses?
The premise of ocd is fear. So ensure that things no longer cause fear. Shrug it off, laugh about it, make fun of it.
Yes I feel like that sometimes. That if i stop fighting the ocd it will somehow turn true
Iann- I go through the same with my friends! In the moment I don’t feel anything but then later BOOM.
please help every time i get the groinal response i go back to whatever i was looking at, at look at it again then look away. i repeat this over and over until i can successfully do this without getting the groinal response. i’ve also noticed when i get the groinal response i experience a shortness of breath. it makes me feel like i enjoy when i really hate it. i just want to make this go away but i have no idea how to do that. i also procrastinate and can’t do what i want to do until the compulsion i mentioned above is just right.
Lately I've been having a lot of groinal responses, don't want them to be there. Before any of this even happened to me, I don't think I ever had a groinal response looking at another man, it makes me convinced that I've always been gay. I don't wanna be gay. This morning I had a dream about a rapper, it wasn't sexual but for some reason I was hard? I have always been a fan of his music and that's it. Now that's fueling my thought process even more and convincing me that I'm gay and I've been in the closet for a while At the same time i keep crying looking at my ex cause i miss her so much. Another thing to note that whenever i see good looking men or men that are gay i get groinal responses, whereas before this I don't think any of this happened to me. Whenever i look at these men i have to actively take a few deep breath's to catch up my breath, i can feel my heart beating. And most of the times I'm not even thinking anything sexual when ilook at these men it's weird. None of this brings me happiness at all. At this point I'm scared of my own groin cause i don't know what to expect or what's gonna happen. My brain keeps going you're in denial I've always been into women, as far as i can remember, I've lost complete attraction to them especially after my break up and getting depressed and having anxiety. And i keep thinking find a man attractive and if i get a groinal response, " wanna have sex with him" where as before any of this happened to me, these thoughts never even came to my mind, my 22 years of life feels like a complete lie and i hate myself, I've lost all motivation to do Normal things, i feel sleepy, i don't feel confident, loss of attraction, loss of libido, loss of will power, my thoughts keep morphing from " you might be gay" to "you are gay" to "you're bi" to "you're gay" to " you're in the closest" to "how are you gonna come out?". None of these thoughts make me happy, it makes me more confused and scared and kinda uncomfortable, and weirded out too. Another thing i did was since December till March i watched gay porn and barely got aroused and didn't really find it all that hot.? But my brain ignores that i understand now that it was a compulsive thing that's why i stopped but now i get so many groinals it's so weird Can someone tell me what's going on with me? Please please please someone take the time out of their day to read this and respond, thank you! 😩😩😩
So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?
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