Nothing ever helps.

I haven’t done therapy yet, I hope to try ERP, but a relationship with Jesus Christ is life changing. I struggle but knowing he’s with me etc. is huge, I wouldn’t be here without him.

ERP can help you controlling your symptoms, but you have to find the right therapist and do it for the right amount of time. I've never tried it still. Antidepressants are very useful controlling your symptoms too, in a less conscious way though, I've taken them for a year, and my R-OCD got really better. Then I started with a psychoanalytical therapy. Psychoanalysis can help you bringing to your conscious world the inner and strong motivations that are limiting you, activating your pathological circle of thinking. I've been in therapy since two years now, results are appearing and disappearing now, but it's a longer path and it requires a very good doctor and for at least 4-5 years (to get really really better). If you are too down now, just consider to start with antidepressant that will help you to restore your serenity, and then think about making an ERP therapy, and maybe a Psychoanalysis too for the long run. You are not the only one, and you can still have back what's missing.

Don’t give up. There may be a different therapist, a different therapy technique, or a different medication that could help you. If you haven’t already I would check out Michael J. Greenburg’s website, as well as the OCD Recovery YouTube channel. I’m sorry things have been difficult for you and you haven’t seen any improvement. But don’t give up, just because you haven’t found what works for you, doesn’t mean you won’t ever find it and recover. A good OCD specialist, who you connect well with and is invested in your recovery can be key to seeing improvement. Keep pushing forward, no matter how unlikely you think it might be to see improvement. Just as in ERP you are taught you can never be certain something bad won’t happen, on the flip side you can never be certain a good outcome won’t happen either.