- Date posted
- 3y
Nothing ever helps.
CBT, DBT, ERP…. I still always feel terrible no matter what I try or do. I don’t know what to do… my life is destined to be miserable.
CBT, DBT, ERP…. I still always feel terrible no matter what I try or do. I don’t know what to do… my life is destined to be miserable.
I haven’t done therapy yet, I hope to try ERP, but a relationship with Jesus Christ is life changing. I struggle but knowing he’s with me etc. is huge, I wouldn’t be here without him.
ERP can help you controlling your symptoms, but you have to find the right therapist and do it for the right amount of time. I've never tried it still. Antidepressants are very useful controlling your symptoms too, in a less conscious way though, I've taken them for a year, and my R-OCD got really better. Then I started with a psychoanalytical therapy. Psychoanalysis can help you bringing to your conscious world the inner and strong motivations that are limiting you, activating your pathological circle of thinking. I've been in therapy since two years now, results are appearing and disappearing now, but it's a longer path and it requires a very good doctor and for at least 4-5 years (to get really really better). If you are too down now, just consider to start with antidepressant that will help you to restore your serenity, and then think about making an ERP therapy, and maybe a Psychoanalysis too for the long run. You are not the only one, and you can still have back what's missing.
I’ve been on medication forever. Truly nothing helps.
@Anonymous Tried all of those? There's always something that can help you. Find the right thing, the right person, the right place! And give you time
Don’t give up. There may be a different therapist, a different therapy technique, or a different medication that could help you. If you haven’t already I would check out Michael J. Greenburg’s website, as well as the OCD Recovery YouTube channel. I’m sorry things have been difficult for you and you haven’t seen any improvement. But don’t give up, just because you haven’t found what works for you, doesn’t mean you won’t ever find it and recover. A good OCD specialist, who you connect well with and is invested in your recovery can be key to seeing improvement. Keep pushing forward, no matter how unlikely you think it might be to see improvement. Just as in ERP you are taught you can never be certain something bad won’t happen, on the flip side you can never be certain a good outcome won’t happen either.
I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.
I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go 😭
I’m trying to do ERP therapy, but I keep thinking my subtype of ocd is the worst there ever is. I tried going on a walk tonight and the adrenaline in my body along with the shakes and the burning in my chest got so overwhelming. I felt like I was just about to lay down in the gutter along the sidewalk. I’m not trying to be super negative. I just don’t know what to do anymore. If it’s not one thing it’s another and I just wanna cry so bad and I want it to go away but it won’t I almost feel like I have to call a crisis line or something even right now while I’m writing this I’m crying so bad. I can’t enjoy a single thing. I joined a support group tonight, but I just feel like I feel so bad for everyone because of how awful it is. I know what I’m writing right now doesn’t make a lot of sense but I just don’t know what to do anymore. Part of me wants to quit ERP therapy so bad cause I don’t think it’s gonna ever help. if anyone has any advice or suggestions, that would be greatly appreciated.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond