Yesterday was such a hard day. My husband wants kids and I don’t. I gave him the opportunity to walk away before we got together because I knew he wanted them, and he told me he was okay. We got married almost 6 months ago and he asked me yesterday about a surrogate. I feel so depressed and just don’t even know what to do with myself. He seems fine and he says he will always want them and yes he might grow a resentment. I just feel like crap. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this. I feel insecure as a woman and a wife, just hopeless.

Hello everyone! Me and my fiancé are planning to have a child and my fear is that like what if I think something bad during intimate time and those thoughts are what comes up when I see my child. Something like that. I know it’s not true and I know I didn’t have another person in mind or anything like that in my head. But now I’m having thoughts about like abortion or a plan b pill and I don’t want that. Any advice? I feel super guilty

this is me being very vulnerable today. i’m struggling with thoughts of my abortion i had 2 years ago. i was 11 weeks pregnant. it was a very difficult decision and a very hard time mentally for me , as the guy i was with was very controlling. i was on and off with him all through high school and we dated on and off as well then we moved in together , i got pregnant almost immediately after we moved in together. it’s something i never seem to have healed from nor have i spoke to a professional about my grief due to it either. i had the abortion with a previous boyfriend and now that im in a new relationship its hard to talk about it so i don’t bring it up because i don’t want him to think i still want my ex. i’m having lots of negative thoughts and emotions today and feel like id be better off gone. i keep telling myself it’s better to regret not having kids then to regret having them. my minds just all over the place , i’m all flustered, i feel sick and sweaty and just not myself at all today. just need someone to talk to…

My boyfriend just poured his heart out to me. He told me how much pain he’s in — how disconnected he feels from me, how hurt he is that we’re not intimate, that I don’t react to his love, that we don’t feel like a couple anymore. He said things that should’ve broken my heart… but I felt nothing. Nothing. And now I’m terrified. Not just scared — destroyed by the thought that maybe I really don’t love him, and I’ve just been lying to myself this entire time. I keep thinking: “If I loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?” “Why didn’t I cry? Why didn’t I reach for him? Why didn’t I say ‘I’m sorry’?” “What kind of person listens to someone they care about and feels absolutely nothing?” I feel like I’ve been fighting this for so long — like I’ve spent months, maybe even years, battling the same thoughts over and over again: “You don’t love him.” “You’re just used to him.” “You want to want him — but you don’t.” And what makes it worse is that everyone around me says the same thing: “Maybe you’re forcing it.” “You can’t control how you feel.” “If you’re this confused, that means something.” But what no one seems to understand is that I’ve tried so hard. I didn’t want this. I didn’t choose to become cold. I didn’t choose to stop feeling things. I didn’t want to lose my ability to love — or to connect — or to just exist next to him without questioning every single breath I take. I feel like I’ve become someone else. Someone who doesn’t react. Someone who doesn’t smile when he’s kind. Someone who doesn’t feel warmth when he says “I love you.” But this isn’t who I was. There was a time when I loved hearing his voice. When I looked forward to seeing him. When I felt. And now… nothing. Just this endless cycle of doubt, guilt, numbness, fear, and the horrible thought: “If it feels this real, maybe it is.” I don’t know what this is anymore. I feel like I’m hurting him. And I feel like I’m losing myself, too. And the most terrifying part? I don’t feel anything about that either. But if I truly didn’t care — why does this hurt so much? If anyone else has ever felt like this… please, please tell me I’m not alone. I don’t want this to be the truth. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this.