I'm getting crazy... My brain tells me memories from my childhood that I have had arousal for the same gender, but I really don't want it. My hocd is really ** strange bc sometimes I don't even get anxious anymore... What does this tell about me?? I just hope it's ocd and not real. I'd kill myself rather than living with it, it's disgusting

Sounds like intrusive thoughts. I used to think I was a lesbian when I was a kid I laugh about it now.

I didn't get anxious I just look back and think it's totally bonkers that I even thought I fancied a female. The person I thought I fancied I gag at now lol. I mean if you even said you find it discusting so it can't be true. I think there is an underlining fear in your mind. The OCD brings out your fears more than normal.

Yes, that is typical OCD :)

I don’t think experimenting is the best advice in my humble opinion. Also feelings don’t dictate who you are.

You give me hope, thank you so much. Did you also have a lot of anxiety about it?

The main thing I'm worrying about is that I lost attraction to girls, it just isn't there anymore. I only can think of hocd, and feel anxious. Why is this? It's making me feel super bad..

@aya-any reason you use to think you were lesbian when you were younger ?

Yh I found some women attractive but in a more sexual way I wasn't actually a lesbian but it crossed my mind when I got older like why did I have a thing for them ? Maybe it was a way of my mind figuring out what I liked. Nowadays I can think damn that girl is pretty but it doesn't mean I wanna be sexual with them I'm definitely in to men.

@maxx32 you could be easily arroused but if you were gay is there anything really wrong with that ? We like what we like if your not feeling attraction for women and more for men then perhaps you should try to just do what you want I mean I've done some weird things in order to understand myself and maybe thats something you need to do. But that's up to you to choose whether you want to discover what you want. Maybe you could do an experiment on yourself. Look at some pictures on the net of guys you find attractive imagine being sexual with them then ask yourself. How do I feel ? Then do the same with women and imagine being sexual and then ask yourself how do I feel? Is it the same different is there nothing there ? You can use your feelings to determine what you are. Maybe right now you could be in a war with yourself and try to block your urges or your confused. A guy at my uni was confused and so he tried being sexual with a guy and he discovered he was straight. One of my ex's thought he was gay for a moment and so he tried watching gay porn but he said he definitely wasn't gay. It's something you may have to experiment with and don't be ashamed of it.

@aya no but before all this I had multiple crushes on girls. I don't want to experiment because I don't wanna be gay. I just have stupid thoughts in my head that wont leave

Especially with OCD