Advice

I need some above from the ladies on here. My roommate and best friend knows I have feelings for her but I can tell she’s harboring something she’s not telling me. She’s scared that if we have a relationship we will fight and she says she doesn’t ever want to have that feeling towards me. The other day, and this is where you ladies advice comes in, she told me every time we watch a movie in my room or she’s even in there she said she’s surrounded by my smell and “pheromones” and it makes her fall asleep every time without fail. What the hell should I interpret from that? She mages comments about her sister being MY sister in law. She carried herself my girlfriend last night. Granted she was drinking, she’s always more open when she’s drinking. That’s why I always tell her to take it easy if we go out. I don’t know what to think of this whole situation. Advice or opinions are greatly appreciated.

GoneHiking

Date posted: 3y

If I had to take a guess, it sounds like she reciprocates your feelings; however, it also seems like she values your friendship and because of that, she's nervous about entering into a relationship with you. Change is intimidating, especially when embracing it means abandoning an already comfortable arrangement; relationships often involve more emotional intimacy than friendships, which can lead to conflict as both parties become more comfortable around one another and begin to recognize each other's flaws. So, in short, it's quite possible that she likes you back, but she might be scared of abandoning her friendship with you and/or intimidated by the prospect of future conflict. To be honest, though, it's difficult to say, since I don't have a complete understanding of the situation. I think the best course of action would be to find some time to talk with her; be honest but respectful. Ultimately, it's up to her whether or not she wants a relationship, but if she's interested and simply has some hangups, then talking it through might help her make a more final decision. As it stands, it seems like she has feelings for you but has not addressed them, which isn't really sustainable.

Rhys34

Date posted: 3y

That’s pretty much what I’ve been thinking in a nutshell. I’ve discussed the situation with my brother as well. He thinks she loves me but if afraid to say it. That’s why she says things then contradicts them. She’s even gotten more touch with me lately. And when I say “touchy” I mean she physically touches me more.

toriqueso4

Date posted: 3y

In my personal opinion I believe she likes you, she might be afraid of losing you as a friend though!

Rhys34

Date posted: 3y

Possibly. I know she’s told me time and time again that she’s never had a friend like me. But you’d think that she wouldn’t be so afraid to tell me she likes me now that she knows I like her. Or maybe me liking her back scares her. There’s so many “what Ifs” and “our maybes” to this.

toriqueso4

Date posted: 3y

@Rhys34 Yes I get you, specially with our condition, uncertainty is a pain… but as a girl if I have a friend and I’m giving him “hints” that is because I like him. Maybe she wants you to make the first move and you’re insecure, because of fear or rejection, but you will never know unless you take the risk… just be gentle in case she does not have the same feelings towards you…. But you can show her you’re interested by doing little things that make her feel that you are really interested. I’m not much of an expert to be honest, but you got this don’t allow fear and OCD take over a chance to be with someone you really like… just remember, if she rejects you then she wasn’t for you and you can definitely find someone else, there’s plenty of fish in the sea! Hope this help you!

toriqueso4

Date posted: 3y

And even though there’s a chance she “might” reject you, I honestly don’t think she would , because of not she wouldn’t be sending you hints… just my opinion.

toriqueso4

Date posted: 3y

If**

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Needing SO OCD Advice

I went out last night with a couple of girlfriends. One of them is contemplating divorcing her husband bc of a drinking problem (she is straight) and made a joke about running off and joining the “lesbian island”. She then continues to say “making out with a girl is one thing” but that she could never actually BE with a woman sexually, etc. Well… this has triggered my SO OCD significantly because I’m thinking, well why does she think it’s okay to just kiss/make-out if she doesn’t identity as bisexual? I mean she is beautiful and I’ve heard all my straight friends say the same thing. So I start to worry by thinking, well I find her very attractive - does that mean I want to make out with her and see what she’s talking about? Just to note, I also identify as straight and am married. So this is just so damn frustrating and confusing. Especially bc society shows women kissing all the time on reality tv shows etc (who present themselves as straight). So now I’m having intrusive thoughts and making myself think sexual things to “check” if I’m still straight. Ughh..any advice would be greatly appreciated. And if someone could please explain why a straight woman would make such a comment - that would be very helpful.

rugirl48!

Date posted: 23w

Really bad night.

I was doing very well with all my thoughts but then they started to get really bad this week. I am very sure I am straight and only want to be with a man but I have such good relationships with my girl friends and my mind plays tricks on me and likes to make me think it’s more than just a friendship. And this voice in my head tells me it’s not disgusting when in reality I would never do anything physical with them at all.But they get so intense I start to believe it. I just am not sure how to get out of this cycle. Every time I get better I think about getting in a relationship with a man and i freak out (what if i don’t like it? does that mean ill have to be gay) and all these thoughts blow up in my face and so can’t take it anymore. My bestie is coming to visit me and the thoughts get so intense when she is around and i really want to be in a good head space to spend time with her because i know deep down she’s my best friend and nothing more. Any suggestion to help?

FoxMan

Date posted: 21w

Overthinking if my friend has feelings for me

So, this may or may not be OCD, but I have been overthinking about this for a while. Also, it does not help that my friends and family say I should try and date my friend. I’m a 24 year old guy and my birthday was yesterday, and for my birthday, my good female friend brought me a PS5. She works at a hospital, and she and her friends always give each big gifts, plus she makes a good amount of money (like she pays twice as much as she should on her car note just so she can pay it off faster) so I’m sure she didn’t have to try and save up for it. I was hesitant to tell my friends about it because they were going to assume that she might like me, and I have been overthinking about that before a few times myself. However, she told me about two situationships she was in and asked for advice about one of the guys, so I didn’t think she liked me and she calls me her twin. I eventually did tell my friends in some family members and of course they asked if I thought she liked me. When I respond that I don’t think she does, they tell me that a PS5 is a really big gift like I don’t know that a PS5 is a big gift. They also say that friends normally don’t buy each other big gifts unless they like each other or someone likes the other one. This of course sparked anxiety, and I am now currently overthinking about it right now. Thinking about past interactions such as one time she invited me to go bowling and I thought our coworkers were coming as well because we all went out to go bowling one time but she was just inviting me alone, and I turned it down because I I was afraid it was gonna be a date (she straight up, said she was asking me out). There was one time we’re hanging out in my car past midnight and I kept thinking that I should probably cut this short. Also, this is making me question if I should like her. Maybe, there’s some false attraction there. I’ve been getting the thought that I should like her and I should take her out however it’s never me actually wanting to do it. I don’t know. I don’t want this to get too long but what are you guys think? I’m gonna go talk to my therapist about it on Friday.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Advice

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community