Advice on supporting a sweetheart with OCD please

Hello. I don't actually have OCD but my sweetheart has it very badly. He often isolates himself and rides it alone as he is a very independent man. I am looking for some advice anybody can give me in regards to supporting someone with OCD. What Do and Don't experiences have you had with partners? I am trying to find a balance of being caring and active but not overstepping bounderies and acting like a therapist🤍 All tidbits of advice really appreciated.

Username: GraceviktoriaGraceviktoria

Date posted: 2y ago

Remember that you will never understand exactly what’s going on in his head, and he’s very aware of that. It’s an incredibly debilitating disorder and trying to describe it to someone almost feels worthless because you know they just don’t get it. So don’t try and understand it, but let him know you are there when he needs him and will never judge the nature of it. Try and gently get him to challenge/resist his compulsions, because enabling them is ultimately just making it worse, but obviously be wary that this can be very anxiety inducing (which is the point!) but that too much of a push won’t end well for him. All I want from my partner is to whole heartedly listen when I decide to share with him a thought or an obsession I may be dealing with, and not try and give me solutions & try fix it, but simply hear me out and remind me I will make it out the other end alive because I always have. Also, encourage him to seek help from a professional🤍 he can’t do it alone and neither can you. Sending lovw

Username: Pepperminta 🍬Pepperminta 🍬

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much for this great advice. It's is so helpful to hear it from someone else's perspective. I will keep it all in mind. Hope you are feeling peaceful in yourself. X

Username: ingrid 🎧ingrid 🎧

Date posted: 2y ago

hello ! here are some things i hope can help you out <3 1 ) understand OCD. the OCD stories is a really good podcast to understand how it works. if you know your partner’s theme, try to understand that to. what are his triggers? what are his compulsions? 2 ) give support, but don’t feed into compulsions. statements like “everything is going to get better” or “all will be ok” are really good for panic moments. however, don’t try to convince him his theme is untrue- it will perpetuate the OCD even more. 3 ) try to help him into therapy. if he gets over a trigger, you could get him candy or have a date at a movie theatre with a movie he’s always wanted to watch. make it fun!

Username: Pepperminta 🍬Pepperminta 🍬

Date posted: 2y ago

Aw thank you so much. I will look into the OCD stories you mentioned. And talk to him more about specific triggers and themes. Love all your ideas. Thank you so much and hope you are finding peace

Username: Jason GibbsJason Gibbs

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 2y ago

Hi there Pepperminta. Here is an article that discusses Family Accommodation. This is one of the biggest things family members do that help with maintenance of OCD symptoms in their family members. We also offer psychoeducation sessions here at NOCD, for family members who are struggling with their loved ones' symptoms, if you would like to call and talk with one of our licensed therapists! https://ysph.yale.edu/familyaccommodationocd/about/

Username: Pepperminta 🍬Pepperminta 🍬

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much! I will look into all this 😍

Username: aidancdm

Date posted: 6y ago

Any advice..? My girlfriend had OCD, specifically OCPD. What can I do to comfort her when she’s feeling anxious/ out of control, dealing with intrusive thoughts, wanting to act on her compulsions etc? I can’t physically be there for her when she breaks down, talking to her through texting and calling for comfort doesn’t help too much sometimes. I want to help her and make her feel as loved and safe as possible, but I need help to make sure I can provide her with that

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 4y ago

Does anyone have any advice for helping your partner deal with your ocd? Mine is getting frustrated feeling it's stupid and finds intrusive thoughts I try and share hurtful.

Username: Magnilda

Date posted: 4y ago

Hello everyone! I am not the one having OCD, but my boyfriend does, and it is combined with depression. He hides it pretty well (he doesn't want to make me or any other person sad) and acts like everything is normal most of the time (makes everyone laugh etc. - like many other depressed people) even though I know he suffers a lot. We know each other on a very deep level and I am the only person who he has told about having OCD and depression, and I just want to help him as much as I can. The thing is that he has a lot of negative thoughts most of the time and if he doesn't do something, for example, claps his hands 8 times, he believes 100% something bad is going to happen to me, like I'm gonna get hurt or something. At the moment it is not possible for him to talk to specialized OCD therapist as there is not one in the area where we live in, but I am confident that I can help him or, even better, guide him, so he helps himself, so that he, at least, suffers less from this. What advice would you give me? I know that I shouldn't be too pushy or telling him what I think he should do. I just want him to know that I'm there for him and that, even though I cannot understand what he's going through, I can at least educate myself about OCD (I've seen some self-help books you posted here) and talk to him about what I've read, because I think it is better to talk about it rather than him hiding it and suffering in silence.. This is how I thought I could help him: When I see or when he tells me that compulsions are happening or going to happen, I'm gonna let him know that he is not going through this alone and that he can trust me. Then I will ask him to tell me what kind of thoughts are going through his mind at the moment, and if he, for example, tells me that he thinks something bad is gonna happen to me I'm gonna tell him to try not to do any compulsive behaviour and try to, no matter how hard it is at the moment, accept that thought and repeat after me: You are safe. I am safe. We are always going to be safe. Only good things happen to us and always will. I believe that if this is done constantly that it will make his OCD more managenable (and depression as well). I would really appreciate any comment, expert or from a person having a similar experience that my boyfriend has. I really want to help him. Thank you! ❤

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