Advice on supporting a sweetheart with OCD please

Hello. I don't actually have OCD but my sweetheart has it very badly. He often isolates himself and rides it alone as he is a very independent man. I am looking for some advice anybody can give me in regards to supporting someone with OCD. What Do and Don't experiences have you had with partners? I am trying to find a balance of being caring and active but not overstepping bounderies and acting like a therapist🤍 All tidbits of advice really appreciated.

Graceviktoria

Date posted: 2y ago

Remember that you will never understand exactly what’s going on in his head, and he’s very aware of that. It’s an incredibly debilitating disorder and trying to describe it to someone almost feels worthless because you know they just don’t get it. So don’t try and understand it, but let him know you are there when he needs him and will never judge the nature of it. Try and gently get him to challenge/resist his compulsions, because enabling them is ultimately just making it worse, but obviously be wary that this can be very anxiety inducing (which is the point!) but that too much of a push won’t end well for him. All I want from my partner is to whole heartedly listen when I decide to share with him a thought or an obsession I may be dealing with, and not try and give me solutions & try fix it, but simply hear me out and remind me I will make it out the other end alive because I always have. Also, encourage him to seek help from a professional🤍 he can’t do it alone and neither can you. Sending lovw

Pepperminta 🍬

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much for this great advice. It's is so helpful to hear it from someone else's perspective. I will keep it all in mind. Hope you are feeling peaceful in yourself. X

ingrid 🎧

Date posted: 2y ago

hello ! here are some things i hope can help you out <3 1 ) understand OCD. the OCD stories is a really good podcast to understand how it works. if you know your partner’s theme, try to understand that to. what are his triggers? what are his compulsions? 2 ) give support, but don’t feed into compulsions. statements like “everything is going to get better” or “all will be ok” are really good for panic moments. however, don’t try to convince him his theme is untrue- it will perpetuate the OCD even more. 3 ) try to help him into therapy. if he gets over a trigger, you could get him candy or have a date at a movie theatre with a movie he’s always wanted to watch. make it fun!

Pepperminta 🍬

Date posted: 2y ago

Aw thank you so much. I will look into the OCD stories you mentioned. And talk to him more about specific triggers and themes. Love all your ideas. Thank you so much and hope you are finding peace

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 2y ago

Hi there Pepperminta. Here is an article that discusses Family Accommodation. This is one of the biggest things family members do that help with maintenance of OCD symptoms in their family members. We also offer psychoeducation sessions here at NOCD, for family members who are struggling with their loved ones' symptoms, if you would like to call and talk with one of our licensed therapists! https://ysph.yale.edu/familyaccommodationocd/about/

Pepperminta 🍬

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much! I will look into all this 😍

tlousluvr

Date posted: 18w ago

advice 🧸

hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗

Ellen_l

Date posted: 13w ago

Advice?

I’m having a big OCD relapse and would like to hear anyone’s tips on how to be present and healthily deal with these intrusive thoughts and the “need” to preform compulsions. Thank you!!

Abigail_roads

Date posted: 12w ago

How can my fiance best support me

Specifically how can my fiance best support me without offering reassurance? I'm trying to encourage myself to grow and keep trying ERP, but I'm not sure how I can include my partner in a healthy way. I plan on talking to my therapist about it soon, but I wanted to hear thoughts from people who have been dealing with it themselves.

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Advice on supporting a sweetheart with OCD please

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