Has anyone else thought that a memory was a real memory/real event and then layer (for me later that day) thought maybe it didn't happen that way and was false? I have been struggling with this for almost a year now
sometimes i get confused on the things i obsess and think about was going to happened but didn’t happen and i cannot tell the difference between the thoughts and reality
Its really hard sometimes 😔
Yes. I have been struggling with this so much recently. I think my biggest compulsions for it are 1. trying to know if it’s OCD or not 2. Reviewing it mentally 3. Trying to prove or disprove it by adding fake or real details to. I think noticing what you are doing to verify or refute that fear is essential in reducing your compulsions.
I've been doing these things too. It's so hard because I feel like if I thought it was real at first there's no way it could not be real. I even confessed to my mom when I thought it was real
I can relate completely :(
Really? I feel so alone in this. I don't know how to overcome it 😔
It's so hard guys. My memory was just of me accepting a past thought as true. And when I remembered I freaked out thinking it was true but then I talked to my mom about it and how guilty I felt and she said it didn't even seem like I was sure that it happened and she said I never acted on it so it shouldn't matter anyway. After talking to my mom I was like wait maybe it didn't happen that way, maybe it was just an intrusive thought that I didn't accept as true but just ignored or whatever but I was like "nope it must be real, I only think it may not be because my mom said I didn't seem sure" and I have been ruminating ever since then (LAST SEPTEMBER) can anyone help me? Do anyone of you have advice. I just feel like I should just live with the consequences of this and accept that it must be real bc I first thought it was real
Has your rumination and reviewing ever made you more sure? It is a false sense of certainty that will only achieve keeping you in a loop of guilt. Whether you did it or not does not matter. You are obsessing and feeding the obsession by seeking reassurance. Start by not asking anyone about it.
@Sum1ne Hmmm... I guess not. I mean it's been months and I'm still confused about it. I definitely know I don't accept the thought now but if I did then I guess I feel like I would have to tell my boyfriend (I don't currently have one but it plagued me with my ex and its making me avoid dating because I feel like id have to tell them) :(
@Sum1ne And I don't feel like I was looking for reassurance before from my mom 😕 I think I was just confessing how bad I felt about this past thought.
@Sum1ne Oh did you mean not asking on the app?
@Hopeforthefuture Confessing is a compulsion you are using to « get rid » of this thought. Also, by asking for reassurance, you are looking for her approval and other people’s approval for this scenario. You will not find that. Everyone thinks differently. Maybe it was bad, maybe it wasnt. Maybe you didnt mean it, maybe you did. Ruminating will keep changing the details and moving the goal post. Notice how you do not ever feel 100% sure. Your OCD will keep changing the questions and you wont have the answer.
@Sum1ne Okay I guess I just wish I could figure out if its possible for someone to think that a memory is real and then realize it wasn't fully real 🤔 then I feel i could maybe move on. And I just feel like I only thought that the thing was maybe not true because my mom said I didn't seem sure so I feel like it must just be true and I should live with that guilt :,(
@Hopeforthefuture You dont know for sure. Thats your answer. I dont know either. It may or may not be true.
@Sum1ne Oh I thought you said you had dealt with thinking a memory was real and then realizing it maybe wasn't 😕
@Hopeforthefuture Yes I have dealt with that. The treatment is the same. You dont know and cannot be sure. Memory distortions based on emotions and context happen all the time. The more you try to remember, the more details you add that may or may not have been originally there. It will only confuse you more. Youve accepted this uncertainty before multiple times in your life. You can do it again.
@Sum1ne Okay. Sorry to bug you. This has just been the hardest theme I've had and it seems like it would be different to deal with. If you have any more tips let me know please
@Hopeforthefuture Dont worry about it. Im on the same boat currently and the best I can do right now is to continue doing what I would do if I didnt have these obsessions to the best of my abilitied; such as hygiene, walking outside, talking to people. I would suggest getting off this app for a bit especially if it is to seek certainty or reassurance. It is still uncomfortable, but know that checking over and over won’t make you feel more sure. We are never sure of anything, we just accept our memories as good enough without knowing every detail about them. Sit with it as in acknowledge you are anxious and resist thinking about how it could have been right or wrong as a memory or morally. Resist asking others. Engage in some self-care. Tell yourself, maybe, maybe not and leave it at that. If that is not possible, give yourself 30 minutes to ruminate about this and try to drop it as in stop feeding your questions. After that, continue with what you were doing. You can also try to postpone it. « I’ll think about this later for x minutes, but right now Im going to z » Take care of yourself. That is the most important thing right now.
@Sum1ne Thank you :) this really helps. I really feel like I can't date again until I get this under control and that's making me sad but I guess I should try And get better first!
Does anyone else’s false memory intrusive thoughts of what could have happened feel very, very real?
So. I was in a traumatic relationship. for a long time. it was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, cheating ect. I would OBSESS over finding out where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking too. but I couldn’t leave. I tried so hard but I never could. they would call me names, physically hurt me, throw things, break things. because I would question them all the time. but I just couldn’t leave. no matter what I knew. they would manipulate me. I fell for their childhood trauma. it’s like I lost all logic. but I also feel like I have a pretty good memory with memories. not all the way, but remembering a lot of the traumatic things. especially now that I’m no longer with them. I keep remembering things that’s happened. even from my childhood. one time way before I even started dating this person, I had an intrusive thought about a friend of mine. that was with me. and I freaked out. I thought I had acted on the intrusive thought the next day. I asked my friend for confirmation but they said nothing happened. but the memories about it feel SO REAL. so VIVID. but they swore that nothing happened and they had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts for my whole life. so fast forward to now, that ‘false memory’ from my friend randomly popped up and I started obsessing about it, and my childhood ‘memories’ that have popped up. and then I was reading an article of someone doing something horrible, and then it sounded ‘familiar’ and so then I’ve created this whole memory of me doing something similar to the article involving my partner doing it also. the memory keeps adding new things and conversations around it. when it involves an actual real memory. but it’s like it’s been twisted from what I remembered before. I also suffer from bad anxiety. I’ve stalked pictures. my search history to figure out what I was doing that say when the real event happened. and I’ve found some things but I can’t look through my texts because I got a new phone. it has been hounding me for months. MONTHS. trying to figure out if this new ‘memory’ is real or not. if it’s been fabricated by an intrusive thought from reading the article and thinking ‘what if’ or if it actually happened and because I’m no longer in this relationship it’s a ‘repressed memory’ but the thing is I have horrible horrible anxiety and I don’t think I could have gone this long knowingly that that happened without remembering it until now. because I remember a lot of the horrible things that they did. this ‘memory’ is fuzzy, but it brings me horrible anxiety when I think of it, like I feel like it happened. but I also feel like it didn’t happen. because I know I would never do anything like that. but WHAT IF I DID, because I was manipulated. idk. is this a false memory. I really need help. because it’s been debilitating. that relationship was really traumatic. and I got manipulated into a lot of things. but I wouldn’t have just went forward knowing that that happened??? there’s no way I could have just forgotten it. because before when I would think about that night it was different, until now. but what if I just made myself forget what truly happened?? I’m a pretty self aware individual, but somehow that relationship really REALLY put me into a trance somehow where I allowed things that I have no idea how I would even allow because before I met that person I would have never allowed someone to cheat on my constantly or talk to me the way they did. or allow abuse. like I don’t understand it.
When false memories have popped up for you guys, did they feel real straight away like pop up like a memory but you’re still doubting whether they’re real?
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