There is a difference between reassurance-seeking and validation/support.

Some people on here seem to be confused by difference between reassurance-seeking (not good for your OCD) and validation/support-seeking (which is GREAT). And when I've tried to nudge at this in response to people's reassurance-seeking posts in the past, including today, I get thrown shade by people who are triggered by this being called out, and I get spoken to as though I'm not supportive of support/validation being shared. 🥺😢 I'm simply sharing science-based, evidence-backed facts that are shared by therapists, advocates, and many who have thrived in their ERP journeys. Here is one example of many articles about how reasurrance-seeking/sharing is not helpful: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-reassurance-seeking-good-or-bad-for-ocd "Reassurance-seeking is an attempt to get rid of the distress by getting rid of the uncertainty that underlies it. *Support-seeking, however, is an attempt to have someone encourage you while you deal with the distress caused by your uncertainty.* It means allowing the uncertainty and distress to exist while also acknowledging that it’s easier to succeed with the support of others." I really don't want to argue or debate the points above. I hate conflict/confrontation, I'm just saying, please educate yourselves on the truth, and don't get mad at me for trying to help.

Username: ingrid 🎧ingrid 🎧

Date posted: 2y ago

you’re so right ! after recovery i’ve dealt with a lot of that, and although it really does feel painful to say no, it’s better than making it worse. my key is this — does it make you or the OCD reassured? i love saying things like “this will pass” “you will be ok”, because it makes you feel better. not your OCD. thank you for this post, truly!

Username: ScooterinoScooterino

Date posted: 2y ago

My go to is "it gets better" and "you are not alone." :)

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 2y ago

Who’s trying to argue and being mean to you? Either way, that sucks 😞 I get it sometimes but I think people know me enough in here that they won’t argue/try to debate me.

Username: FCS89FCS89

Date posted: 2y ago

AGREE. They're like "I come here for reassurance that I'm not alone", and it's like no, what ur saying helps u is validation. Reassurance is a different ballgame.

Username: KElizKEliz

Date posted: 2y ago

Completely agree! I think the difference between seeking reassurance vs seeking support is very important for people with OCD but unfortunately it can get a little confusing at times to figure out which one it is. I like what Ingrid said - “does it make you or the OCD reassured?”. Im glad this post is here because I think it’s smart to remind people to look at the intentions behind posting something.

Username: redmuse22redmuse22

Date posted: 2y ago

I sympathize. I know I pissed off at least one person for calling them out on reassurance seeking (they made like 6 posts in one day all the same thing copy pasted and asked why everyone hated them/no one liked them) and they ended up then making at least one post about me being a bully. 🙄 Being kind is not always being nice. I think you are doing a great job by understanding the difference between feeding reassurance to OCD vs being supportive.

Username: Michael AndersonMichael Ande...

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for sharing this!

Username: Janice

Date posted: 6y ago

Hi, so I’ve recently found out that asking for reassurance isn’t a good way to help OCD (that’s understandable), and I was wondering to what extent is reassurance bad? Eg, reassuring yourself that things will be okay, or that some of the things you obsess over are untrue and aren’t helpful things to think about? I probably sound a little stupid so apologies! I’m just unsure as to what is healthy and what is not! (Sorry if this is confusing, I have just splatted my thoughts down!)

Username: Serena

Date posted: 6y ago

A suggestion. I saw a post of @OCDtreated on Twitter and I’d like to share with all of you who want to recover. “I am not a fan of OCD forums. Full of reassurance seeking.” I kinda agree with him on this. When people are troubled by OCD, they are more vulnerable to negative stuff and more skeptical with positive information. Although an OCD online group/forum can be helpful in some way (knowing that you are not alone, reducing the stigma, finding understanding), it can also be not that helpful. We talk here without any therapists’ guidance, and it’s so easy we post “unhealthy” information or questions to seek reassurance. One way to get better is to “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable”. This requires you to get more involved with your life, less from OCD. Constantly checking on ocd forums is not getting on with your life. However, I am not saying that you should not visit OCD groups any more.

Username: Tqh

Date posted: 5y ago

The amount of posts seeking for reassurance is ridiculous, people, if you see posts like that, please please don’t answer their questions, I know that you’re just trying to help, but you’re doing more harm than good by feeding the ocd monster. Notice how people wanting to be reassured are always coming back with the same question a few hours, or days later, so it doesn’t work and it won’t help you get better!

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There is a difference between reassurance-seeking and validation/support.

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