- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I've been dealing with HOCD for a while now, but things have been rough for my fiance and I this year. We've moved, switched jobs, planned our wedding, and dealt with no less than 4 major health events in our family. I feel like I was processing stuff well but today was our first calm day in months and it felt like everything came crashing down on me. I've been feeling immense guilt and confusion. I wasn't able to sleep at all last night.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you. It's hard because I want to talk about it but due to the usually sexual and disturbing nature it's super hard for me to talk about my problems openly. I'm constantly afraid I'm going to drive off my friends and loved ones.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have done ERP in the past and at first it helped. But over time the effectiveness had diminishing returns. I haven't tried with this latest obession.
- Date posted
- 6y
I totally understand, you're probably feeling very shocked at this new theme but it's very common and it's still just OCD finding ways to be creative. The same ERP skills can be applied to every theme. You know OCD is rearing its head again, you can fight it the same way you did before! It's great that you have supportive friends and family. Maybe it's best to only share with others that understand and are familiar with ocd and how it affects the brain. Sometimes people with good intentions can cause triggers or be unhelpful even if they don't mean to.
- Date posted
- 6y
What’s been going on, friend?:(
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I have HOCD as well so I totally get you there. You’ve got so much that you’ve been dealing with, you have to be nice to yourself and give yourself a break. Relapses are inevitable and you have to accept that there will be bad days. But it sounds like you’ve been doing so well, I know you will get through this setback.
- Date posted
- 6y
Remember OCD will morph into new themes and it feels like for each new one we have to analyze it and figure it out, but it's all just OCD affecting something new. Have you done ERP for hocd before?
- Date posted
- 6y
I presume your fiancé understands your struggles with ocd. Opening up to her might be so relieving and help you move towards recovery. Also I would try to begin some erp for this new theme
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry:( that a lot of life change happening all at once, it must be overwhelming. First of all, you can totally talk about whatever your obsessions are here cause we are a group of people who understand. You are not an anomaly. You are okay, and you can make it- for sure until Monday. Hold on!! No matter what, everything will always be okay.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
my ocd has severely flared up the past 2 weeks while I’ve been on spring break, probably because I’ve had nothing to do and I’ve been bored and boredom is a big trigger for my ocd/anxiety. I usually go every other week for therapy but the past two weeks I feel so lost and confused on my own and feel like I need to go every week but my therapist is booked and can’t get me in until 2 more weeks. My ocd hasn’t been this bad in years, and it’s been so isolating and I feel so alone at home with my thoughts. Every 2-3 days my obsession changes, first it was health ocd after I got really bad allergies I convinced myself I was dying. After that it was harm ocd and I feared I would hurt myself, then it changed to me fearing harming others and I’ve felt scared to be around others even family. I’ve stayed up sobbing because I’ve felt so bad, so terrible. My therapist told me even though she can’t get me in, that if I really need to come in I should call her office and see if she has anything, but I feel like that would be pointless since she quite literally is booked- I’ve been clinging onto the few things I have from my last 2 therapy sessions but feel like it’s not enough. does anyone have any techniques to deal with specifically harm OCD that I can use for the next two weeks?
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m feeling really scared I’ve been left in the lurch by my therapist today as she said she doesn’t feel comfortable doing anymore therapy with me unless I increase my mirtazipine (Remeron) as my OCD has spiked a lot since I started with her and I’m only just at the beginning, but I’m not sure increasing my meds is the right thing to do so much as what she’s doing is causing it …….. basically my OCD theme is it tells me I’ve done horrendous things like I’ve harmed people, it’s in the affirmative tense not the “what if?” anymore, I guess it’s a bit like it tries to give me false memories but isn’t quite the same,and I just feel so unarmed how to deal with it and I’m really scared I’m going to end up in a very very dark place again 😭
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
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