Hey all. I've been dealing with my OCD for about 2 1/2 years and treatment had been going well. Lots of ups and downs, but I had things under control. Well yesterday I had the worst relapse of my life. It feels like I'm back to square one and my obession switched. I called my therapist but she doesn't have office hours during the weekend. Soonest I'll hear anything is Monday. I'm really scared and lost right now.

Does anyone know of any rehabilitation centers for mental health? My ocd has gotten bad today to the point where I feel like leaving :( and desperately get help . Ever since I began medication months ago I been feeling fine but all sudden I feel like my episodes are rapidly coming back. I’m more responsive to them. I find myself ruminating more and engaging in compulsions. I feel embarrassed that my family would have to know if I considered making that choice of leaving . It’s never gotten to this breaking point , or at least I don’t think. I’ve been through this a billion times and each time it feels like it’s the worst and it’s gonna be the one that will permanently take over me and my full control. I’m from Elkhart, Indiana. Or if there’s anyone here that can talk to me I’d appreciate it I feel so alone right now and I’m more vulnerable because I’m home alone and I don’t have many friends. I’m scared that I’m gonna lose touch with myself. I don’t wanna lost my values or stop feeling my normal self. It feels real and scary. I want it to stop.

I’m going through a really bad flare up. I developed ocd many years ago when I had my first child. Postpartum ocd. I suffer from harm and pocd. At first I had mostly mental and some physical compulsions but the physical faded away pretty early on and i’ve just done mental compulsions since. My ocd was in remission for alot of years and if the ocd would pop up now and again, I was easily able to shrug it off and not engage. A few years ago I went through a stressful time in my life and the ocd came back to stay. At first it was bad but then it got better and has been pretty mild until now. It’s been really bad this week and the physical compulsions are even back. I never thought it would ever get this bad again. My ocd is making me doubt who I am and how I feel. I know it’s all ocd and not real or true but the ocd makes it feel so real that I can’t easily dismiss or disprove it. The more I try to disprove it the more real the ocd makes it feel. I’m really struggling and don’t know how to get back on track. I don’t have access to a therapist because there are no ocd specialists near me and my insurance doesn’t cover online therapy. That’s why i’m reaching out here. Has anyone been through a rough relapse? How can I get through and past this??

Where do I begin with this…….. so my OCD has been around since childhood and has had many themes over the years. I only realised I have it just over 2 years ago. I’ve tried many things to help it not be such a monster and thought I had a good grip on it for a length of time until now! Some of my strategies have been acceptance, change of perception of thoughts and sometimes on hard days just telling myself that no matter what, I have to be brave and go out and live life. In the last few months I’ve developed none OCD related anxiety as well and so have been looking at ways to help with that. Sunday morning I was just casually scrolling TikTok and a video only about 30 seconds long or so comes up, seemingly a therapist of some kind, straight away the video began something like “you cannot replace a thought with another thought” along the lines of “you can’t THINK your way out anxiety” I don’t know the full context of the video it wasn’t long enough, I don’t know who the therapist was I didn’t look but now purely because of that one sentence my OCD has gripped onto it so badly and is trying to tear down some of my strategies because I have used changing my thought patterns a lot to help me, self compassion etc but now because of that video I’m struggling! I’m not looking for answers but I am just really upset and it feels like I’m in an impossible grip of OCD again