Age obsession

So, I don't know if anyone has issues with this or not or if it is OCD, but I had a huge fight with my dad about this last night. So, I am 29 years old and ever since I graduated high school, I have been obsessed over how young or old I look. People have told me this past year different ages and mostly I want them to tell me I look like a kid. I was told last year by a couple people that I look 19 and two other people said I looked 14 or 15 and so over the years people have told me how look really young for my age and I decided why not pretend I am that age. Why not embrace? Me and my dad have gotten in many fights about this, and he tells me that it is delusional, but I don't think so. Tonight, I was arguing with him to please call me a girl and he would not do it and it drives me insane that I wanted to kill myself over this. I feel like I deserve to relive my childhood since I have been going through this OCD thing for 13 years. I live at home with my parents because of the debilitating nature of my OCD and I want to do things like a job and make some friends, but I feel like I am nowhere near moving out. This thing about the age thing is something that drives me crazy whenever I tell my parents I am a teenager, or I am not at the maturity level of a 29-year-old. I know this all sounds crazy, but it is just how I feel. I would rather look fourteen any day than my age. Also, if I dated someone, I would like them to be in their early 20s because that is what I prefer. Please don't tell me to grow up or anything because that never helps me. Please kind comments. Thanks.

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Date posted: 3y

I don’t think I can say much to help but I think this is a valid way to feel. I don’t think it’s necessarily healthy, but it makes sense and I’m a similar way to an extent. I am a bit obsessed with wanting to stay/seem young. I know for me its because I missed out on pretty much all of my childhood and teenage years due to mental health and am behind my peers, also still living with my parents, dropped out of school, etc. I think it could be the same for you too, being stuck on it could be a form of grieving/making up for what we never had, also dealing with the fact that we can’t relate to people around us very well. I know I don’t mentally feel my age either and as long as they’re an actual adult, wanting to date a bit younger (early 20s adult like you said) makes sense. You’d both be at similar places in life. I can’t really judge or anything, but I think you should talk to a therapist if you’re able about pretending. Realistically, even if we’re behind our peers, our life experience over the years still makes us the age we are. Maybe instead of using teens/other adults as references to how our age feels, we could redefine it as our age (for you 29) but acknowledge the fact that it’s different than others and our own experience. We gotta accept the missed time and know everyone is in different places and we can still grow. I get where you’re coming from with mental age but it feels a bit like denial. I do get it, but there are absolutely other ways to relive our childhood, connect with our inner child, and reparent ourselves to get back what’s missing. Sorry this was long as hell I hope it made sense 😅

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Date posted: 3y

@Uugggghhhhh Yeah sorry jfc that was long. But the point is I think the only way to get past it is to accept where you’re at, if you deny it you won’t really get anywhere. You can relive childhood while still acknowledging reality, as hard as it might be

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Date posted: 3y

@Uugggghhhhh Also I kinda take back my dating younger comment. While it’s technically legal and not the worst, there are other people your actual age going through the same thing. You just have to find them

Warriorforever

Date posted: 3y

@Uugggghhhhh That’s okay. Thanks for responding.

Warriorforever

Date posted: 3y

@Uugggghhhhh I understand what you’re saying.

Warriorforever

Date posted: 3y

@Biracialbeauty1 Yeah I got diagnosed with OCD at 16 and I have been struggling ever since.

shirleyCstar

Date posted: 25w

Advice and Unbiased Opinions Please!!!

This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.

gio

Date posted: 22w

21 days till Im 18, I just don’t want it to come

I can’t totally tell if this is an OCD theme or not but I’m shaking and crying and can’t stop thinking about this. I hope that this makes sense, l'm having problems understanding how to explain my emotions anymore because I just don't know what l'm feeling some days, I just don't get it that much. I'm so scared to become an adult. I don't want to not be a kid in every sense of it. I don't feel like I'm an adult at all, it feels like an expiration date in every way. I don't think I have much going for me, l'm not very smart at least I don't think I am. The things I do like don't feel like they are that much to carry me through everything life is going to bring. I feel disconnected from the actual reality l'm living, like I'm just observing it. I just have trouble caring about my future and I have no plans for anything. But time is running out to figure out what l'll do. I would get rid of any of the privileges l'd get at 18 if I could stay at 17 forever. I don't want to loose childhood, I spent my younger years trying to feel smarter than I am and trying to seem like I was mature, but I'm not. I've had really bad things happen when I was young and things I feel like set me back. I don't think I've grown at the same rate as I should have. God I'm so confused. I don't know what to do about it man. No matter how many people I talk to this doesn't stop eating away at me. Does anything I'm saying even make sense? I wish I could stop time so badly. I don't want things to change. I am not ready for it at all.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

Maybe it is OCD (please say anything)

I have no idea anymore. I guess this all started with me worrying about whether I was gay, then whether I was a P, then worried about being just attracted to teenagers. After that I started freaking out about not feeling “grown up” enough. Like “I’m an adult wtf is wrong with me for seeing someone who is probably younger and thinking they’re physically attractive. Then I started overthinking not finding older adults (like 30 or 40) very attractive. Like ofc I’m probably not gonna find them attractive, they’re not anywhere close my age. Maybe the desires are half real. Maybe as a 21 yr old young adult I do find older teenagers (16+) somewhat physically attractive. I still think it’d be weird to date one. Maybe that’s the normal reaction I’m supposed to have. If not, please let me know. I just don’t wanna do anything illegal one day and I’m super scared I will. I can’t tell if the fear is my just being afraid of the law though, in which case I might actually just be a bad person. I hate that my brain is just rationalizing thoughts now. I feel like I can’t do the ERP thing of “just accept that the thoughts are there but don’t engage.” Like what? How can I just think a thought that might be so integral to my identity and just ignore it? If it’s all true and I don’t like people my age anymore then I have to know and plan around that, that could change my entire life. I’m rambling, my b.

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