- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
False memory ocd
How to get past a false memory that i thought was real at first? I think I need to confess it to my bf
How to get past a false memory that i thought was real at first? I think I need to confess it to my bf
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But shouldn't he know about it? I feel like I am lying 😓
@redcushion Okay I guess thats good to know that it won't help. I just feel like I'm lying:( I want to be honest with him ya know*
Never confess. All my confessions have ever done is made my symptoms worse because, as others have said, it's a trick compulsion. Neutrally acknowledge whatever is on your mind and tell your OCD voice to "move on". Whatever mistake you've made I'm sure you're not the first nor the last. I promise you it will get better if you are able to acknowlede your thoughts without judgement, but it will take practice.
Oh. But it feels like I'm lying. I just think I shouldn't date him or anyone anymore bc I'm a fraud if I don't say something
@Hopeforthefuture That's the OCD voice in your head. Tricky, isn't it? You will know for sure if your relationship isn't working for you.
@yup_its_ocd Yeah I guess its not him (he's great)i just feel like he needs to know everything about me or I'm lying. My past event was a thought in the past that I was something I'm not. And I remember accepting it (and then now im not sure if that was what really happened). I just feel like such a guilty liar and like I should confess to him to see if he still wants to be with me
@yup_its_ocd Did you reply and delete your comment? Bc its showing 1 comment but there isn't one. Sorry its just making me nervous 😓
@Hopeforthefuture We can't change what has past. Even people without OCD have a hard time remembering things. The point of our lifes as people who suffer from OCD is to simply acknowledge whatever might have happened without any judgement and move on.
@Hopeforthefuture No, I didn't before. Must have been an application glitch.
@yup_its_ocd Oh okay my bad haha. My OCD said you must have replied something crazy and deleted it lol 😆 so should I resist confessing or would it make it better for our relationship to tell him? I mean I definitely know that it isn't something I want now but I still feel like he should know about my past "sins"
@Hopeforthefuture Never confess. Confessing is a compulsion. Avoid compulsions and do something else instead. The longer you sit with your anxiety the more it will lose power. That is where ERP comes into play.
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Thank you! I'll watch A
So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.
TW. hii, ive been dealing with horrible thoughts as of lately. its gotten to a point where as of recently, ive been starting to eat less, sleep more, and cry a whole lot. i dont know whats wrong with me, i have confusing memories. im in a relationship, and as a highschool girl who loves hard since this is my first relationship, ive been having confusing thoughts about whether or not if i found attraction to a boy last year on a cruise. the first time i met this boy, my boyfriend knew about him because i made sure to update my boyfriend on everything. me and the boy were only friends & thats how i thought my intentions were before. but i dont know why now, a whole year later… ive been having confusing, yet convincing thoughts that i found attraction to the boy and i cheated on my boyfriend. everything seems so convincing, yet makes no sense, but i want to know the answer, did i find that boy attractive, and i try to look back into my memory to remember how i felt, but nothing works, i dont know how i felt or feel anymore. i dont know if these are false memories or theyre real memories. how do i know if they are real, concrete memories & how do i genuinely get rid of these thoughts?
I basically can’t stop thinking about the false memories and I’ve been thinking about them non-stop since I’ve woken up today. I keep picturing the images / the false memory and I focus and fixate on the images and they feel so so real and realistic and when I think of them I get a feeling of “clarity” and a genuine sense of knowing and belief that deep down I know these memories are true and have happened and that I’m just in denial and lying to myself and you by saying that they’re false memories when in actuality I know they’re real which is also really frustrating and makes me feel uncomfortable. On top of that as I’m writing this message my stomach won’t stop turning and it really hurts and I just want to cry and my brain says that I’m experiencing these physical feelings because I know I am lying and just in denial and that these physical symptoms are proof that I am lying and just in denial and I just don’t know what to do or how to calm down. I really don’t want these memories to be true and I want them to be false more than anything in the world and I am not lying when I say I don’t know whether or not they’re real and I’m not lying or pretending they’re false memories but the more I say that to myself the more it feels like a lie and I’m just terrified at the thought and idea of them being even 1% true because why wouldn’t they be? Is it really possible to fabricate entire memories or doing sexual things to and with another person that are that detailed and realistic :/ My brain says things will only get better once I admit to the false memories and stop lying to myself and stop being in denial and stop using false memory ocd as an excuse and just admit to them because I know deep down I have done them and that they’re true which is why I feel a deep sense of clarity about them and that I am just continuing to lie to myself, to my girlfriend, to my therapist and to my family when I say I don’t know whether I have done anything sexual to or with this person because deep down I know I have I just don’t want to admit it so I’m continuing to be in this heavy state and cycle of denial because I don’t want to accept what I have done. I just want this to end. I just want confirmation that I have never done anything sexual to or with this person and that these memories are entirely fabricated by my ocd and have no basis in reality but I don’t even think that’s possible. I’m so done.
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