- Date posted
- 3y
Guilty thoughts about having kids
Dose anyone else feel guilty, like it’s unfair to bring an amazing child in this world when there’s a risk that they may also suffer from OCD anxiety and depression..
Dose anyone else feel guilty, like it’s unfair to bring an amazing child in this world when there’s a risk that they may also suffer from OCD anxiety and depression..
i don't feel guilt since i don't ever plan on having kids but trust me, atleast your kids will have loving, supporting parents who acknowledge their mental health.
@Anonymous - As it stands, the human population is nowhere near its estimated carrying capacity of ten to twelve billion. At the moment, overpopulation is a myth. In coming decades, our population is expected to grow by two billion, peaking somewhere around 10 billion before plateauing. This is because as birth control becomes more available to women and rates of infant mortality drop, mothers increasingly have fewer children...it is easier for them to choose when to have kids, and they have less of them because parents are more confident that their children will survive to adulthood. So the human population is not going to keep growing out of control - it is about to begin slowing to a halt. An argument made in response to this is that a population of 10 billion is not sustainable. This is false - we grow enough grain to feed 10 - 12 billion people. We also have enough clean water for the whole world. Famines and droughts are a problem not of resource availability, but of infrastructure and poverty. In poorer areas that have less advanced technology and transportation networks, food may rot before it ever reaches market shelves. Even when rations do make it to their destination, there is no guarantee that customers can afford to eat. A similar problem applies to water - in many cases, we do not have the transportation networks to easily give it to those who need it the most. This is a reality that changes as technology advances and developing countries gain wealth, meaning that our carrying capacity as a species continues to rise; it is likely at this point that we will never hit it. While I realize that this response may have seemed a bit defensive, understand that your claim has a problematic history; it has often been used to blame third world countries...who are responsible for much of the world's population growth...for a problem primarily created by the developed world, and it has also been the rationalization for human rights abuses hiding under the guise of aggressive population-control laws. As it stands, overconsumption is a much more serious complication than population is; even if there were only 500 million people alive on Earth today, we would still be facing serious environmental issues if all of those 500 million people consumed as much as Americans, which is why pushing for infrastructural change is important. To Tsm95...edenmn and Uugggghhhhh are right. There are always risks around bringing a child into the world; however, even if they do end up having to deal with psychological disorders, you can support and help them through it. Even with the mental health problems that I have, I am glad to be here; I imagine many others like myself feel similarly.
Thanks for your thoughtful response! It’s hard to have a productive conversation online, so I’ll just leave you with a few rebuttals and we can agree to dissagree. Are you familiar with I=(PAT)? It’s an equation used to describe the impact that humans have on the planet. Impact = Population x Affluence x Technology. So I whole heartedly agree that affluence and excessive consumption by first world countries is equally as big of a problem. But population makes whatever problem we’re facing exponentially worse. I am familiar and educated on the human overpopulation movement, and am aware of the concerns you bring up in the past it was used to brush the problem off on third world countries. I dissagree with the people who would do that, and many in the modern day overpopulation movement feel the same as I do. Overpopulation in third world countries sadly has a bigger impact on individuals lives that it does here in the U.S. it contributes to shortages of food, water, fuel, and makes health/safety issues more severe. Large families also make it more difficult for women to pursue education and careers. I’m a proponent of every person across the planet limiting their biological children to 2, and preferably having 0 or 1. The best way to do this is through non-coercive methods like increasing access to birth control and abortion, increasing access to education, and engaging and providing sex education to cultures where having 6+ children is considered the norm. Human overpopulation hurts both the planet as well as individuals and families. To touch on one of your other points, I have no doubt that through advances in technology, the planet could host a much higher population of humans. But at what cost? Loss of biological diversity? Loss of wilderness? Decreased quality of life? Increased poverty and suffering for those who are already on the bottom rung? I have no wish to live in a society where all bits of the planet are covered with houses, agriculture, livestock, or energy production. For me the price of the human population rising further is to high, and it rising provides very little reward to humanity and the planet.
the bright side is that if they do have those things, they’ll have an understanding parent that’s able to catch it easier and get them help. There’s a risk with bringing any child into the world and unfortunately we can’t prevent everything, but we can do our best to make it easier for them
You could adopt, of course it won’t look like you but oh well. In all seriousness regardless of OCD the human population keeps going up and is a huge component of many of the environmental and societal issues we face. I don’t want to be a part of that so I’m choosing to not have kids. If you’re dead set on having kids, only having 1 or 2 is also a good compromise:) Just my 0.02!
Totally relate. I'm going through a divorce right now that, in a large part, triggered by my mental health. Along with that, my kids struggle with ocd and other mental health issues. I can't help but think I caused their issues and hurt my ex wife with my mental health.
Hi everyone, this is giving me so much anxiety even saying this out loud because my OcD is telling me that somehow someone will know who I am on here and report me this goes with what I’m about to say about my irrational stuff. Since my baby was born I’ve had a lot of majorrr anxiety about him getting sick. From there my postpartum ocd spiked. I had this irrational fear someone would falsely report me as a bad mom and I’d get my baby taken from me. I’ve NEVER had anyone tell me I’m a bad mom, as a matter of fact, almost every day I get praised for how good of a mom I am. My child is so loved and taken care of. So why did I have that fear? it CONSUMED ME. Obsessively cleaning my house in case a social worker came. Stopped posting myself having occasional girls nights out for dinner because I thought one of my followers would think I’m a bad mom for getting a break. Not being able to talk about ANYTHING or send pictures of my baby to family and friends to update them since we live out of state because somehow I thought I would say something wrong or do something that would make someone think I’m a bad mom. I was convinced my baby was gonna be taken for zero reason. I still sometimes catch myself over analyzing myself and what I say because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and someone think I’m not a fit mom. I would even replay every scenario I remember and then second guess myself if that really happened or if I said something or not and freak out and spiral from there. with driving, if I go over a speed bump I have to double check it wasn’t magically a person. Then I panic even though I know for a fact it was a speed bump. I hate living like this. I feel crazy. I don’t open up because I feel like I’m the only person in the world. The one time I opened up about driving it was used against me. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m failing as a mom. I don’t even open up to a therapist about my irrational fear about baby being taken bc I don’t want them to think I’m a bad mom. It just doesn’t stop.
cause immense guilt when receiving gifts? Or when someone is nice to you, the guilt just floods every vein of your existence. I feel so awful :( awful about my compulsions, about some of my thoughts, about who OCD has made me. My boyfriend just gifted me something, and I have such a heavy feeling in my chest. Worst part is: when I’m not feeling guilty I’m spiraling over that gift was enough, if it could’ve been “better.” I feel like an idiot. I don’t understand why I’m like this
I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?
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