- Username
- Cat_attack
- Date posted
- 5y ago
a novelist... that seems like a wonderful dream to wish to be. i would love to read your writings. cherish your talents and hobbies... this is your happiness. a flower could blossom anywhere, as long as it is grounded. just write. write. write. as long as you are living, there is *always* a chance to be happy. you could still search... still fight... still live. one step at a time. maybe.. you could write a metaphorical story of all your feelings... what color? what smell? what sound? what touch? what appearance? is it scary..? are there monsters..? is it lonely..? i wish you could find your passion and inspiration again. you’ve had it before. you have just temporarily lost it... because depression is a thief. it steals our memories of love away. but you still have love within you. i’ll pray for you. ♡ bless your heart.
Thank you so very much. Means more to me than you know
To “Cat Attack”: I hope you are seeing a Psychiatrist for medication for your Depression as well as your OCD. If the Depression isn’t managed, you cannot work on your OCD.
hey ♡ i just read this quote and i thought of you. i wish to share this with you... “Writing is finally about one thing: going into a room alone and doing it. Putting words on paper that have never been there in quite that way before. And although you are physically by yourself, the haunting Demon never leaves you, that Demon being the knowledge of your own terrible limitations, your hopeless inadequacy, the impossibility of ever getting it right. No matter how diamond-bright your ideas are dancing in your brain, on paper they are earthbound.” ~ William Goldman
Charice ? I love that ?
MRB5124 okay, except I’m depressed BECAUSE I have OCD. And medication is not right for everyone. I don’t like how people throw that around. I used to think medication would work for me, and when it didn’t I became even more DEPRESSED because I had thought that would help me! I can’t try to find one that works by trying out different medication due to the fact that I started developing seizures (that magically went away when I stopped taking them even though that apparently wasn’t a side affect ?) that went away after I went off them.
I hate ocd! Right now it is draining every piece of energy or happiness I have. I’ve been struggling for so long and feeling like the worst person ever forever. I’m falling into a depression, I’m hardly functioning, can’t sleep, can’t eat. Thoughts constantly in my head that maybe I don’t have ocd or that even if I do, it doesn’t matter. I want to live so badly for the people in my life that love me but in the past week from feeling this way I’ve lost over 10 pounds. I live in a really remote area and I feel like don’t have treatment options unless I move. It’s just so exhausting and I don’t know what to do anymore.
Everyday I feel extremely down and I don’t know how to snap out of it. Intrusive thoughts are always playing in my head and won’t stop. I’ve been feeling down for the longest time to the point where it doesn’t feel right to be happy or do anything positive for myself. It’s as if I want to be miserable and don’t want anything good to happen to me. I don’t deserve it and I don’t think I can truly overcome this. I get eaten up everyday and lil by lil, a piece of myself slips away to the point where I don’t recognize myself anymore or care for myself. I don’t want to feel like this anymore😔I feel so detached from reality.
I’ve been suffering from non stop 24/7 dpdr for a year and a half now. I never really had OCD in a big way before I suffered some major panic attacks. Since then I’ve been a completely different person. I used to live a carefree life of traveling. Socializing. Experiencing life. After my panic attacks I became agoraphobic, couldn’t leave the house or work. My thoughts were like a washing machine over and over. I’ve done a lot of work to help overcome the fear of panic, but I’m still stuck in a 24/7 DPDR state- my thoughts never stop, I’m always searching for answers about my mental health, I have music stuck in my head from the time I wake up to the time I got to sleep, my mind is racing, attacking what I value, saying hopeless thoughts, anxiously worried about everything, I don’t do physical compulsions but I’m mentally checking myself all the time to see if I’m in DPDR still, or if things feel “weird” - I have a huge fear of going crazy and death. Although I’m not having panic attacks anymore, I’m still mentally anxious all the time. I feel like I cannot escape my thoughts, they torture me. I can’t feel any emotions, I’ve lost my sense of self, I can’t make new memories or be present - I’m constantly in my head. A lot of what kicked this off was years of trauma that was stored in my nervous system, once unleashed, I haven’t been able to recover. I want my life back. I’m tired of living in fear and exhaustion to the point where nothing brings me joy. Anxiety and ocd have taken my freedom from me, I feel like the thoughts rule every decision I make instead of being able to live freely, sometimes I don’t think it’s anxiety because I can’t feel anything physically, but these thoughts torture me- no one should have to live this way. What do I do? I’m taking medication but all it’s done is stop the physical symptoms, the thinking has not gotten better
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