Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has made me so drained thinking of all the thing I think I did and all the things I think I want to do that I am SEVERELY depressed. I don’t have a life anymore. I work only part time and just sit in bed all day crying or feeling so empty I can’t cry. I have ZERO motivation to do anything. Even if I’m hungry I can’t get out of bed. This eventually results in me going to work at 5pm having eaten NOTHING all day. I am in constant pain due to health issues, type 1 diabetes and PKD. I want to be a novelist and I can feel that slipping away as I haven’t written in over 2 years. My memory is getting worse due to sugar fluctuations and my depression. And my health is never going to get better. Sometimes idk the point of being alive if I’m just going to lay in bed every day of my life and cry.

a novelist... that seems like a wonderful dream to wish to be. i would love to read your writings. cherish your talents and hobbies... this is your happiness. a flower could blossom anywhere, as long as it is grounded. just write. write. write. as long as you are living, there is *always* a chance to be happy. you could still search... still fight... still live. one step at a time. maybe.. you could write a metaphorical story of all your feelings... what color? what smell? what sound? what touch? what appearance? is it scary..? are there monsters..? is it lonely..? i wish you could find your passion and inspiration again. you’ve had it before. you have just temporarily lost it... because depression is a thief. it steals our memories of love away. but you still have love within you. i’ll pray for you. ♡ bless your heart.

Thank you so very much. Means more to me than you know

To “Cat Attack”: I hope you are seeing a Psychiatrist for medication for your Depression as well as your OCD. If the Depression isn’t managed, you cannot work on your OCD.

hey ♡ i just read this quote and i thought of you. i wish to share this with you... “Writing is finally about one thing: going into a room alone and doing it. Putting words on paper that have never been there in quite that way before. And although you are physically by yourself, the haunting Demon never leaves you, that Demon being the knowledge of your own terrible limitations, your hopeless inadequacy, the impossibility of ever getting it right. No matter how diamond-bright your ideas are dancing in your brain, on paper they are earthbound.” ~ William Goldman

Charice ? I love that ?

MRB5124 okay, except I’m depressed BECAUSE I have OCD. And medication is not right for everyone. I don’t like how people throw that around. I used to think medication would work for me, and when it didn’t I became even more DEPRESSED because I had thought that would help me! I can’t try to find one that works by trying out different medication due to the fact that I started developing seizures (that magically went away when I stopped taking them even though that apparently wasn’t a side affect ?) that went away after I went off them.