Fear of unsanitary dishes

This may be gross to read but I can’t stop worrying about this. When I was 14 I went through many depressive episodes that included me not taking care of myself or getting out of bed. I did not have the energy to get up and use the bathroom so I would pee in glasses/ dishes. I randomly remembered this close to four years later and am so disgusted with myself because my family have since drank from these glasses. Obviously they have been washed 100s of times since I did that in them but I’m afraid thar it harmed them and I’m disgusted with myself that they have drank from something that came in contact with my private area. I’m wanting to throw the dishes away and confess to them, what should I do? Someone please help me

cmac1339

Date posted: 3y

I can tell you i did equally gross stuff as a kid. You are human and humans do things like that. Especially especially when they’re young

WeepingWillow

Date posted: 3y

I bet most people have used objects to pee in when necessary, although few would admit it. Especially for people who have certain OCD where they have to avoid places. However the way you should look at it is you did what you did because of your current mindset so it is not fair to judge yourself from your current mindset. Only a year ago I couldn't take showers every day because showering had become SO difficult for me to feel clean and it was such an emotional and physical ordeal for me. I would also go through about 12 hours where I would rinse my mouth after eating and then wipe my mouth numerous times over that 12 hours (sometimes less if everything went right) and would finally feel that my face and mouth were clean. It got so bad that I just wouldn't eat that day to give myself a rest because I couldn't talk during that time either nor breath naturally. I would also spend about 3 hours in the bathroom cleaning myself because I couldn't take a shower. I look back now and can't imagine doing that, although the pain was fresh, but I was in bad shape and had gone from a size 10 pant (often 12) to where I was probably a size 2 as I bought size 6 and I had an extra 3 to 4 inches spare. I had never looked so skinny nor ill. BUT you have to be kind to your past self and show compassion. You know that at that time you were just trying to get through the day and survive. On a side note, doctors used to drink patients' urine to detect things in it. It is usually pretty sterile and no one would have gotten sick from it. No need to tell anyone if you don't want to. You let it off your mind here instead and we understand and are not grossed out so don't give it another thought. The future is where we are heading, not the past. God bless.

WeepingWillow

Date posted: 3y

*you did what you did because of your mindset AT THE TIME so it is not fair to judge yourself from your current mindset. Sorry about the error. I wish they had an edit button.

Jellybeans

Date posted: 3y

@WeepingWillow Thank you for your advice, I will try to apply it to my mind set. My mind is just telling me that I’m disgusting for peeing in objects that my brother/ parents drink out of. Like I have a weird thing about me touching my privates and then touching other things. The fact that the rim of the cup touched that area and then they drank off of it is making me sick. Sorry for oversharing

Jellybeans

Date posted: 3y

@WeepingWillow I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable :(

cam!

Date posted: 24w

Contamination event

My mom made chicken soup today, and she left raw chicken skin on the sink. There were some dishes next to it and I grabbed some tongs and put the chicken in the trash. My mom washed all of those dishes including the tongs I used and now I'm scared of salmonella. I didn't say anything to her about the chicken bc she usually gets frustrated and says I worry too much. I made sure to wash my medicine cup before bc I'm sick and I was scared of getting salmonella on top of my sickness, but i regret of not doing anything for my parents. My mom already washed all of the dishes with just dishes soap. What do I do?

ynnej

Date posted: 10w

Please help

I’m so scared. Part of me feels ok and part of me feels like I need to clean everything off. Basically my sweater had a stain on it from food it was newly washed but I decided to throw it in the wash again. While throwing it in the laundry basket I noticed a specific type of clothing that scares me. I quickly put the sweater on top of the used laundry and left. My phone was in the living room and I’m pretty constantly scared it will get contaminated by laundry I’m not sure why but that fear started randomly. Anyway I had to walk past the living room to wash my hands in the kitchen because someone had to use the bathroom badly and was waiting for me to just throw my laundry in to go to the bathroom. Anyway I’m scared I went near my phone or contaminated it with my hands. I can’t remember the details fully either but I just remember walking straight to the kitchen but I don’t know. I’m really scared and I want to clean everything like my phone and everything it was near. The thing is my fear is real because used laundry is so gross. What do I do? When throwing clean laundry in a basket should you wash your hands? Do most people? Even if the article of clothing isn’t dirty? Because maybe my hands accidentally went near the actual gross laundry I don’t know

GuiltyGrapes

Date posted: 6w

I feel so filthy

So Im staying at my uncles house until Saturday or Sunday and I feel like I’m filthy and making his house infected and idk what to do so when I first got here his house had grass I walked through to get to the door so I made sure to wipe my feet at the door and leave my shoes close to the door but I still feel,like I’m infecting his house he gave me and my little brother a room to sleep in and the first think I think of is how I need to wash the sheets when I leave. The first day was hard because I couldn’t shower and I felt so dirty because we had to go on a walk and I was sweating and we also had to water the grass outside and I had the same socks on as I did yesterday and I just felt like they were filthy and I was walking with those socks around the house so now his carpet is filthy and the bed I was laying in is now filthy. And I couldn’t shower because I didn’t have any cleaning supplies to clean it after I was done because I didn’t want to wash in their shower and now clean it afterwards. But I got someone at the store and took a shower and changed clothes and I felt weird about where to put my dirty clothes I hung them on the shower curtain rod but I feel like I just infected the rod. And afterwards I tried to spray off the shower with some Clorox foam cleaner but I feel like I didn’t clean it good and even feel bad about cleaning it because I was afraid the chemicals I tried rinsing off the shower and the bottles I was using in the shower but still feel like it’s infected. And don’t get me started on how I feel about the bags I’m keeping my clean clothes in and also the other bag I’m keeping my dirty clothes the bags are laying on the floor and I feel like my clean clothes are getting dirty from the floor and my dirty clothes are dirtying the floor and the towel I was using I used to dry the bathroom floor and asked where to put my towel he said on the dryer but there was stuff on it so I put it on a box above the dryer but I feel like I just infected everything and also Ik he touched the towel WHST if he gets THISE germs on his kids . Also the covers me and my little brother were using fell on the ground and his kids were playing in them and stuff like that but my little brother said it was fine and still used them but idk and his cover he brought touched my dirty clothes and the floor and he still used them and I just feel kinda ill about that. And today me feeling filthy just multiplied because I can’t SHOWER again today because someone’s toys are in the shower and idk how to get clean becuase we leave soon and idk what to do do I just change clothes? Idk about wipes because I can’t just ask for baby wipes and now I’m walking around with no socks because I only brought one pair and my others ones were put in my dirty clothes bag and now I have to go places no socks just in my flip flops. And last night I went to the restroom because I didn’t want to have an accident in the night because I’m always anxious about that stuff and I went but I feel like I just infected their toilet and I washed my hands after but I went back into bed but my feet touched the bathroom floor so now the bed is hay I feel actually infected and since I’m laying in it I’m infected too. Idk why I woke up so depressed and feel so filthy and guilty idk if it was the pose I was sleeping in or if I think I had an accident idk but we a lot of places to go today and idk what to do I was going to get Lysol at the store today to spray stuff but I don’t think I can get everything and I feel so sick he has kids what if I give them bad germs I can’t live with that

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Fear of unsanitary dishes

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