I feel like messaging my ex I had a passionate dream about him last night. I also dreamt he pushed me away as as well made a fool out of me. We ended four months ago and I miss him, why did I have to fall in love with an ass hole, he was my first real love and I can't help but wonder what having kids with him and moving out would have been like. I loved him so much I don't want anyone else. I know ocd is making it so much harder to move on. He said I was harrassing him with all my messages and I was. I was scared of getting arrested if I kept messaging him like him calling the police but now I feel like I'd even go to prison for him. Why did he have to kiss me when the bells chimed for new year. Why is he still on my mind. I'm fed up with this he even said he fucked someone else not even a month later after we fucked a month ago. And that he is going on a date with her. He is an ass hole and I wish he loved me and only me. I don't want to live without him. Someone please help me move on, tell me some wise words or something, I'm crying.

Ya ocd definitely makes it worse. I have had a couple horrible break ups that felt as though they were all consuming, I couldn’t do anything without obsessing about that person. My girlfriend that I was deeply in love with left me while she was pregnant with my child, but at the same time I knew she wasn’t good for me, but it didn’t matter I would have done anything to get her back. I really didn’t think I would ever get over her, but now I can look back and kind of chuckle at myself, and say good thing that didn’t work out, and thank you for giving me the most amazing daughter. I think cognitively you know what is best for you. You said he is an asshole and was sleeping around. Doesn’t sound like somebody that would make a good lifelong partner to me... you will get over him, it might take time but you will.

Well I have issues too, and anyone that claims they don’t is lying. From the outside looking in it sounds like the best thing you can do is cut off communication completely. To be completely honest I had 3 really bad break ups and I compulsively chased after each one ultimately only hurting myself. You will feel much better in the future if you can just cut all ties as hard as it may be, and one day look back and sort of patting yourself on the back thinking yeah I did the right thing!

You most certainly should not feel bad about texting him. Only you really understand that situation. I know how it feels to deal with heartbreak while being a very emotional person, and having ocd, it’s tough. Keep your head held high do what’s best for your and try not to invest too much energy in him (I know easier said than done)

Bless you! Well this is the 5th month apart I just realised and I couldn't resist sending him messages just now. We were together three months. I have issues

Well he wasn't horrible so I don't feel bad about messaging him this time. I think if I maximum message him every two weeks, it will slowly ease off. I'm too obsessive and I keep thinking about him being with someone else ugh

No don't worry, I won't be investing energy in him, I was tempted to ask if he'd found someone, but remembered either way I'd feel sad so I didn't bother. I'm really trying to honor myself at the moment xx

Noo, he didn't cheat on me, he just moved on quickly. And I do believe what goes around comes around. And as for the baby part, I'm not sure if I ever want a child. I did want one at 27 but thinking now that's only 7 years away I need to get over my intrusive thoughts before I have a child