Can anyone understand me? Can anyone help me?

Something uncomfortable just happened, I was watching a video and at one point there was a person who looked like my ex, at first the thought didn't bother me but then I started to get the feeling that I was being unfaithful just because I thought the person looked like her and then I started replaying the same part of the video countless times in an attempt to make sure everything was okay and that thought didn't mean anything. I don't even think this compulsion makes sense, but I don't know, nothing in OCD makes sense. I feel so bad that I didn't have the strength to resist this compulsion 😓

J_Mac

Date posted: 3y

Anytime you find yourself ruminating or mentally rewinding - it's OCD. It just feels real because of the emotion the OCD is fuelled by. I know it seeks impossible, but write the loop down (I saw this.. I felt this.. I feared this..) read it out loud. Then rip it up, throw it in the bin and say.. that was just OCD rubbish

bm111111

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much for the advice! I will try to remember this and do the exercise, hopefully I will be able to see things from a better perspective or something

ecofriendlybug

Date posted: 3y

i was actually dealing with a very similar obsessive thought pattern recently, with my ex as well. there were certain things that reminded me of him and i felt so guilty as the thoughts were repeating. even though you and i both know that it doesn’t mean anything, our brain still makes us feel shameful for it. i ended up talking to my therapist about it, and she explained that because OCD is fear-based, it’s the fear of hurting your significant other, or being unfaithful. i just remind myself that it’s just yet another intrusive thought- that’s what has helped me the most. i hope having someone relate to you helps, and please reach out if you want to talk about it more! i’m always here :)

bm111111

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much for your reply, that really helped me a lot! I started to have more difficulty with this topic recently, like I know we should do the same exercise with all OCD topics, but in the beginning it is always difficult

idontknowmyname

Date posted: 3y

I feel you. Honestly have been struggling with this too recently, but mine is just more so the intrusive thoughts. I hate it.

bm111111

Date posted: 3y

It's so stressful, I hope we can recover

J_Mac

Date posted: 3y

Getting the loop out of your mind will always help you see it for what it is - an OCD story. When that inevitable fusion happens between intrusive thought or trigger + emotion or memory it's impossible for our brains to respond rationally. So I find, if I take the story out of my mind, it's make it easier to see it for what it is.. an OCD story on repeat!

bm111111

Date posted: 3y

That's really interesting! I think I've done something similar, but I used to believe I should tell someone, then it kind of became a compulsion, it's absurd how easy you can fall into an OCD trap

J_Mac

Date posted: 3y

@mar3 Yeah, you do have to be aware of how easily OCD can make things a compulsion, or a way to seek reassurance. I use the writing thing as a way to draw attention to the story and create mental space for myself - then I have a better chsnce at not ruminating or rewinding stories in my mind and examining them.

bm111111

Date posted: 3y

@J_Mac I will definitely try to work on that, thanks for the advice!

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

I Really Need Some Insight

I am really worried because I felt confident about my appearance today, then I found myself thrown into imagining if I did certain things like flipping my hair or just looking good around a certain coworker and they'd find it attractive. I don't like that coworker at all and I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, this made me feel awful and I starting feeling disloyal again. I don't know if it's an old habit, a desire for external validation, or what. I can't tell if this was a thought pattern connected to my last post or not. All I know is that I'm really stuck right now. I feel like every time I pick myself back up, I fall right back down again, like there's ice in the road. I can't help but feel like everything I touch or everything I think about crumbles. I feel like my own mind is against me and I don't know who to trust anymore. These small OCD spirals are really messing with my work life, s*x life, everything really, and it's getting to me. I feel with every spiral that I'm getting sucked into a depression again and I don't know what's next. It doesn't matter how small the "bad" thing that "i did" was, but I feel that every little thing is building up to a point and something is going to crash down. I need help. What do I do? Right when everything around me seems to be going up, I feel like I'm being dragged down and I can't do this anymore. Please help me.

Uhhhh15

Date posted: 20w

I feel gross

I shouldn’t have done this (trigger trigger trigger!!) So about a month ago..maybe I watched this video (as a compulsion to prove to myself) The video was called “interview with a p3d0” And basically it was what it says, I watched or more like listened to half of it…after I was disgusted by the person, but now all I can think of is every little thing I do, I feel as if tho I’m monitoring every thought/moment and feeling I have it’s torturous and I hate it..I feel disgusting, the person in the video has empathy and sympathy and had those feelings yk, I can’t explain it you’d have to watch the video yourself but please don’t it will ruin your journey…I feel more hopeless then before, my OCD is telling me so many things trying to convince me things that Ik aren’t true, I’m just really scared I don’t want to be that person I want to be a good cousin and person to my family, I’m sick of my head and myself, I’m so tired that sometimes I can’t even think straight, my head is always in pain and idek how to help myself..compulsions have been becoming more and more exhausting… I need advice or even someone to relate to, I understand I shouldn’t have done what I did but idk how to forget it.. I had made this post already but when someone replied I couldn’t see it for some reason so I’m uploading it again

Anonimus ME 🦋

Date posted: 13w

Is this a compulsion? I need your help ❤️

I already wrote about this and you really helped me, but now I wondered?! During the erp, I look at a picture of that person with some grimaces that the brain sexualizes, otherwise I have incest ocd! The person is of my gender, I'm not gay otherwise. And then, based on those facial expressions, the brain creates sexual images in my head, which I often feel as sexual and mental arousel. It is enough to see the picture or hear the voice of that person! Based on the pictures it gives me the idea of sexually touching myself on it and climaxing while watching. I feel an urge (I tried something like that a few times ago and now I'm afraid of it), and then the exercise is over, but I stay until I get the answer I want and the feelings that would calm me down, but that happens less and less... Have you had any experience, and is it a compulsion? how can I stay after exercise with that feeling of reality.. Thank you in advance❤️

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Can anyone understand me? Can anyone help me?

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