My depression has gotten a lot worse. I told my partner everything. (He is leaving for a few days) I told him I am unhappy and how even if he is gone I am still gonna be bothered by my family. I told him I never am relaxed mentally and how even if I am physically relaxed I am mentally not. I can’t stop thinking, I can’t deal with anyones stress. I told him I thought about leaving for a couple of days but I can’t leave him here with my family since he would have to hear kids scream and people yelling. Also bc we have cats.. so I can’t honestly just leave and be alone for a few days. I remember the roommates we had before left me alone when my partner would go leave to hang out with his friends for a couple of days and I was able to relax. I just wanna drink or need something to cope to help me relax… I can’t stand it! I am convinced I am never gonna be able to enjoys life at all and live freely like I want. I am always doing things for other people and I never feel like I am appreciated at all for things I do for them. I just honestly wanna just drink until I pass out… I am that unhappy with everything in my life…

Haven’t received treatment at all. I know I need to get help but don’t know how to go about it without using money…

@7710 ❤️ If you can see a psychiatrist I'd recommend that. If you really want see one then your best bet is the book Freedom From Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson. It will outline how you can make your own recovery plan. I wrote a post earlier called "How to get better." where I made some pointers how to get started with this journey if you wanna take a look at that.

@yup_its_ocd I tried reading books.. nothing worked.. I think I need to talk to someone other than my friend who causes me anxiety.

@7710 ❤️ They book has the standard formula for how to do ERP, which is how you resolve OCD symptoms. Any IOCDF recommend therapist will be doing something similar if not the same. The only reason I mentioned it was because it seemed money was an issue for you, but I absolutely recommend an OCD specialist. Good luck!

@yup_its_ocd I just want to be happy.. that’s all I know I want! I am so tired of never being able to relax at all. I am not happy with my life at all! I hate it! I am tired about worrying over things non stop.

@7710 ❤️ I was like this and my journey has only started to turn around thanks to ERP and medication. Without it I wouldn't be alive.

@yup_its_ocd Right now… all I wanna do is yell at my partner… 😢 I can’t sleep… I’m angry he is going away to hang out with his friend until Sunday while it makes me feel like he just wants to get away from me…

@yup_its_ocd Since we live we my family we never have any peace at all anymore.

@yup_its_ocd I want him to have a break but.. I that it was only one night… so I was upset a bit when I heard two when I thought it was one.. I don’t wanna control him but it upsets me… not living on our own is causing us problems.

@yup_its_ocd I tell him a lot that I am unhappy about our living situation and how it is causing problems in the relationship! I am frustrated bc I feel like he doesn’t take me seriously on it!

@yup_its_ocd It’s making me sad angry and confused with him… my depression doesn’t help either!

@yup_its_ocd I want us both to get better jobs so we can leave and finally live on our own… that’s all I want… i want to have a place that we can go back home too… 😢