College wait /ocd

Lately I have been dealing with a lot on my plate aside ocd . There’s way to many stress factors in my life I don’t even know where tk being to start ...for all I know is OCD has been number 1 issue to all of my fallbacks in life . I want to regain strength and stability in order for me to fulfill those dreams /goals I have set up such as college . Therefore , I know I have to prioritize mental health . For starters , I’m not sure college is right fit for me at moment because I don’t know if I’ll be financially stable ...covering expenses etccc.....plus I don’t have enough driving experience for me to drive myself back n fourth . Sure, my original plan was to live on campus , but the catch is it’s way more expensive compared to non housing . I don’t have a license . No one here at my house ever really reaches me to drive and/or let’s me use the car for practice ...this is one of my stress factors rn. My younger brother can drive and has his car , my older sister is in college has all her shit together . I can barely leave the house - so bascually all these obstacles play along with each other ...i habent started therapy because of how expensive it is . My insurance does not cover it unfortunately. Meanwhile I’m stuck at the same shitty job that only puts me at more negative moods when I’m already at my worse with a ocd let alone . What I’m trying to say here is I’m more worried/concerned about my dad’s reaction of me not beginning college again and taking another gap year . I feel like I don’t do much around here ...:I’m isolated . I know how piss he’ll get when Figures out in not going to college . My mom has been on boat wit the idea somewhat considering she’s been more open minded on my mental health and more understanding of my struggles I face everyday . I know this will lead up

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

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Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii I’m stubborn . I don’t want my siblings teaching me ....especially not younger siblings . It’s embarrasing

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Brian :) I’m envious of eveyone who can drive or has their car. Envious in general of those who have their lives together and don’t struggle with mental health...life feels impossible rn- I can’t even get therapy BECuse of how expensive it is ...itd like NOCD will have tk he only resource I can depend on. It’s so expansive for erp there aren’t much available therapy services here around my area especially for ERP. Plus, even if there was I wouldn’t be abele to afford getting there . I don’t drive hehe

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

I know I shouldn’t be jealous , but I am 😔and more in a sad way not hateful way - I hate to see these kids get their license before me bcuz jr reminds me of what I missed out on . My old coworker posted on snap about his new car :( it’s embarrassing being almost 20. He’s 17 . And like I said almost ebeyone I work with has their car or either drives on their own to work. I hate to rely on parents ....I’m not moving on or progressing in life due to mental health. I only get reminded of my incapability everyday it sucks .

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

Comment deleted by user

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii :( this is whwre sad part kicks in. So long story short - about a month ago in befriended someone whom was genuinely a good person :( and I felt shitty . He was kind enough to lend me his car and show me how to drive . We really Hit if off and had a lot in Common. We consistently talked even after hanging out , we’d talk right away and remained close contact and always made plans ... every time we’d go out, he was so considerate and generous to teach me and explain how to drive . All sudden , one day I was having a lot of weight on me with my stress and I took it out on him - I overthought at first but even so, I still acknowledge that it was my ocd ...but regardless I let my feelings get in the way so I eventually unadded him on day for bailing on me ...whcih I’m sure was uninetnuonal. I asked if we could go to the fair and he said he couldn’t bcuz he was gonna he busy during those days ....but what upsetted me was fact he had left me on delivered for hrs ...I guess this is what my life does to me I’m so lonely that I have no other things to look forward to and I forget people have lives. Anyways yea he was mainly person that been teaching me besides my mom. But with my mom, she’s not consistent on it . She only ever lets me use it to drive to work , she barely has time for me .

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii Thank you !🥺🥺🥺so much

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii Thank you😩

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

What also stresses me is the driving part itself - it’s so complicated - there’s jus a lot to driving ...so many things to remeber and check on back n fourth. I’m not so efficient wit many things when driving . It upsets me and puts me into a difficult spot like I can’t do it . There’s so much flexibility if it makes sense , that there’s it’s hard tk get it at perfect spot . Car reacts so fast ...I don’t slow down soon enough when making a turn , my turns suck , I can’t keep straicht on lane , I’m too close to cars , I don’t check mirrors , I shift over to lane way too rough, I exceed speed limit , I don’t maintain velocity , UGHHH ITS JUS ALOT ppl get it spot on... I can’t !

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

I make too many mistakes it hard to keep track of .

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii Thank you! And this honestly makes me feel better 🥺. Tho ppl keep saying I’ll get there and it takes time , but nothing ever happens . I jus too many obstacles in between more obstacles if that makes sense . They all play along wit one another .

Adi7

Date posted: 24w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

How do you manage OCD in school with avoidance?

I had avoided a lot with school specifically, but I did do it in other areas of life as well. School for some reason has been the biggest trigger that sends me into avoidance and it has been for the longest time. Does anybody relate? If so, what did you do to help besides therapy? In high school I used to sit in the bathroom stalls for hours so I could avoid going to classes. I was struggling to keep up because my OCD makes me perfect my school work so much so to the point where I’d never turn it in because I’d never be satisfied with what I’d produce. I’d get so incredibly frustrated with myself and the fact that I could never meet my own standards, never mind the rubrics given. I took ages analyzing all my writing, all my answers, all my google slides and I burnt myself out. So I stopped trying. I stopped turning in work because I’d never be satisfied. I’d cry because I felt I wasn’t good enough. Then I’d be missing assignments, getting them done but not submitting them because I was too ashamed. So, I avoided classes because I’d be in trouble or be called out for not getting anything done. Unfortunately this habit bled into my first year of college last year, and OCD coupled up with depression, made going to the dining hall and attending classes even worse. So I avoided it all together. It’s so hard being a freshman in college, so so hard. I unfortunately failed out of that school but I tried to medically withdraw either semester. No, I wasn’t partying, or drinking or smoking or hanging with the wrong people. I was a college freshman struggling with ocd and depression. I’m trying to not make excuses for myself either because I’m well aware this is my fault and I’m trying to reverse it now at community college. Right now I’m trying to get those Fs turned into Ws from my old school so I can fix my gpa. I want to transfer, I want to be a forensic psychologist, I want to be independent, I want to be ok. It’s gonna take me so long to transfer from community college but that’s on me. I’m willing to put in the work. I’m so embarassed, please help me.

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 18w

feeling misunderstood

Having ocd is so incredibly exhausting and depressing- my mom and dad argued with me for over an hour talking about how im a pain to be around, go in too many loops, and ruin everything and everyones mood… this conversation started with me saying im stressed out because of school and that i dont want to go because im exhausted- and idk if this is like ocd directly but it takes me like 2 hours to get ready in the morning because i need to look PERFECT and the same everyday literally 😭 and that process feels so exhausting every morning at 6am but i will NOT go to school without going through with it- i will literally be crying and shaking and wanting to go home the minute i get to school if even a single strand of my hair is not perfectly straightened or any blemishes or flaws are showing- and i cant even walk to school or anything bc im scared the humidity will mess with my hair and everything- and it just really affects my life? And yeah its freaking exhausting. And i have two more years of highschool and I dont know if im going to make it 😭i get super stressed over grades too because i need them to be extraordinary otherwise its a fail. Nothing below 95%. And thats also tiring! 😁 and my mom told me today “medication IS NOTTTT AND OPTION!!!” Like oh okay so im just cooked 😭 and therapy isnt really helping me at all- i feel like what im being told is so basic and generic and it doesn’t help me when im in a huge ocd episode- which is often… and what i hate most is like my mom says “don’t come to me with your problems after 6pm…” im sorry i cant schedule my feelings 😭 im so tired

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College wait /ocd

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