College wait /ocd

Lately I have been dealing with a lot on my plate aside ocd . There’s way to many stress factors in my life I don’t even know where tk being to start ...for all I know is OCD has been number 1 issue to all of my fallbacks in life . I want to regain strength and stability in order for me to fulfill those dreams /goals I have set up such as college . Therefore , I know I have to prioritize mental health . For starters , I’m not sure college is right fit for me at moment because I don’t know if I’ll be financially stable ...covering expenses etccc.....plus I don’t have enough driving experience for me to drive myself back n fourth . Sure, my original plan was to live on campus , but the catch is it’s way more expensive compared to non housing . I don’t have a license . No one here at my house ever really reaches me to drive and/or let’s me use the car for practice ...this is one of my stress factors rn. My younger brother can drive and has his car , my older sister is in college has all her shit together . I can barely leave the house - so bascually all these obstacles play along with each other ...i habent started therapy because of how expensive it is . My insurance does not cover it unfortunately. Meanwhile I’m stuck at the same shitty job that only puts me at more negative moods when I’m already at my worse with a ocd let alone . What I’m trying to say here is I’m more worried/concerned about my dad’s reaction of me not beginning college again and taking another gap year . I feel like I don’t do much around here ...:I’m isolated . I know how piss he’ll get when Figures out in not going to college . My mom has been on boat wit the idea somewhat considering she’s been more open minded on my mental health and more understanding of my struggles I face everyday . I know this will lead up

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

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Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii I’m stubborn . I don’t want my siblings teaching me ....especially not younger siblings . It’s embarrasing

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Brian :) I’m envious of eveyone who can drive or has their car. Envious in general of those who have their lives together and don’t struggle with mental health...life feels impossible rn- I can’t even get therapy BECuse of how expensive it is ...itd like NOCD will have tk he only resource I can depend on. It’s so expansive for erp there aren’t much available therapy services here around my area especially for ERP. Plus, even if there was I wouldn’t be abele to afford getting there . I don’t drive hehe

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

I know I shouldn’t be jealous , but I am 😔and more in a sad way not hateful way - I hate to see these kids get their license before me bcuz jr reminds me of what I missed out on . My old coworker posted on snap about his new car :( it’s embarrassing being almost 20. He’s 17 . And like I said almost ebeyone I work with has their car or either drives on their own to work. I hate to rely on parents ....I’m not moving on or progressing in life due to mental health. I only get reminded of my incapability everyday it sucks .

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

Comment deleted by user

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii :( this is whwre sad part kicks in. So long story short - about a month ago in befriended someone whom was genuinely a good person :( and I felt shitty . He was kind enough to lend me his car and show me how to drive . We really Hit if off and had a lot in Common. We consistently talked even after hanging out , we’d talk right away and remained close contact and always made plans ... every time we’d go out, he was so considerate and generous to teach me and explain how to drive . All sudden , one day I was having a lot of weight on me with my stress and I took it out on him - I overthought at first but even so, I still acknowledge that it was my ocd ...but regardless I let my feelings get in the way so I eventually unadded him on day for bailing on me ...whcih I’m sure was uninetnuonal. I asked if we could go to the fair and he said he couldn’t bcuz he was gonna he busy during those days ....but what upsetted me was fact he had left me on delivered for hrs ...I guess this is what my life does to me I’m so lonely that I have no other things to look forward to and I forget people have lives. Anyways yea he was mainly person that been teaching me besides my mom. But with my mom, she’s not consistent on it . She only ever lets me use it to drive to work , she barely has time for me .

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii Thank you !🥺🥺🥺so much

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii Thank you😩

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

What also stresses me is the driving part itself - it’s so complicated - there’s jus a lot to driving ...so many things to remeber and check on back n fourth. I’m not so efficient wit many things when driving . It upsets me and puts me into a difficult spot like I can’t do it . There’s so much flexibility if it makes sense , that there’s it’s hard tk get it at perfect spot . Car reacts so fast ...I don’t slow down soon enough when making a turn , my turns suck , I can’t keep straicht on lane , I’m too close to cars , I don’t check mirrors , I shift over to lane way too rough, I exceed speed limit , I don’t maintain velocity , UGHHH ITS JUS ALOT ppl get it spot on... I can’t !

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

I make too many mistakes it hard to keep track of .

Brian :)

Date posted: 3y

@Jenniii Thank you! And this honestly makes me feel better 🥺. Tho ppl keep saying I’ll get there and it takes time , but nothing ever happens . I jus too many obstacles in between more obstacles if that makes sense . They all play along wit one another .

shirleyCstar

Date posted: 25w

Advice and Unbiased Opinions Please!!!

This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 23w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

Adi7

Date posted: 20w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

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College wait /ocd

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