need relationship advice

this isn’t really about ocd… so feel free to skip lol. i just needed some advice and this is usually where i go. i’m in a long distance relationship and i love my girlfriend, but the distance is hard. i feel like it’s making me way less emotionally connected and interested in the relationship. i don’t enjoy facetiming her as much and i wish would wouldn’t do it everyday or at least just once. i don’t enjoy hearing about her day, im sexually frustrated from us being apart which isn’t helping my mood, and sometimes she’s just clingy and i don’t want to have to text her all day. that being said i do still love her and miss her dearly, i just am not enjoying being apart because it makes me distance myself emotionally. i feel like this will pass and i don’t want to end our relationship. I’m surprised she hasn’t said anything to me yet because due to these feelings i’m kinda becoming an asshole and not being the best girlfriend i know i can be. what can i do to try and make this work?

??!

Date posted: 3y

i’m stuck in this headspace of annoyance, making it hard for me to appreciate all the lovely things about my amazing girlfriend… she honestly really is too good for me and this isn’t fair to her

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Why did you break up with her?

??!

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous i didn’t break up with her, and i don’t want to! i’m trying to fix it so that doesn’t have to happen

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

I don't know why boys get frustated in a long distance. I was also in a long distance and really loved my bf and did everything for him but he still left me. One thing i would just say, girls are never clingy. They won't even answer the one they don't like. If they are clingy with their bf, it means they really love him and miss him especially in long distance..

AnonymousSpa...

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Hey I just wanted to let ya know that she said “I’m kinda becoming an asshole and not being the best girlfriend I know I can be.” So I believe she prefers girl as her gender. As for the advice ‘??!’ … The best part about being human is that nothing is for sure. There are so many different ways of going about this. But you are here because you want to be better! No matter what happens in the relationship, remember that you already took the best step toward being better and that’s self reflection as well as deep contemplation. Sometimes it’s not a matter of fixing something, sometimes it’s a matter of it simply working or not. But, you should always follow your heart and if your heart says you want to fight to be better for someone you feel much love for so that’s what you’ll do! But just know that you are you for a reason, you can’t expect others to change drastically just as much as you can’t expect yourself to change drastically because that’s what makes you yourself and them themself! Just know if things do or don’t work out, neither side should feel bad about themselves because in life, it’s all about compatibility. Same can be said about lifestyles or diets, I mean compatibility is the goal for a lot of aspects in this world. Therefore it is complete uncertainty everywhere we look, there is no right or wrong answer, we just choose what feels best in the moment and pick up the pieces from there! Maybe you can’t handle long distance and that’s okay, not many people can. Maybe you can tough it out and see if something good will come from holding on. Who knows? Do what you feel is right, we were born to make mistakes ‘cause that’s what drives us forward.

AnonymousSpa...

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Anonymous, you are validated for how you felt in that situation. Everybody is different from one another, it’s all a matter of human beings. Anybody can be clingy and really love the other person, no matter who they are, unfortunately it doesn’t mean the other person involved will feel the same way completely because they’ve got a different perception of their relationship. It really sucks, relationships can be really difficult.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@AnonymousSpartan Yes, every one is different but i wasn't even that clingy. I used to text him first always but i never mind that coz of his work. Bit whenever i would text him he would say "busy" , no matter if it was day, night or weekend. Sometimes, he would answer me after 3days and othertimes he would leave me on read and would always treat me bad. I did everything for him and never asked for anything in return but just a few minutes a day. By few minutes, i don't mean long time, really 5-10minutes but i didn't even get that.If someone has literally no time for their partner, then i think they should not be in relationship. Why would someone say they like you if they are going to treat you like you don't exist...

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@AnonymousSpartan I think he is a boy as he said "i don't enjoy facetiming her and she's clingy sometimes".

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous why would that make her a boy 😭

MM311

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19w

relationship ocd?

for me it’s getting to the point where i don’t feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. i’m trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. it’s like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i can’t catch a break. it’s like i want to be with him so bad but my brain won’t allow me. any advice?

Anonymous558

Date posted: 18w

Struggling relationship and ROCD (help)

me and my girlfriend since we started dating we be only had one problem, and that is my fear of everything of losing her of her cheating, and it’s all caused by OCD. my texts are massive and i get worried i know i love her and she makes me calm i know i love her. we had a conversation yesterday and basically she said that she feels suffocated with my texts and my fears. she went on trip were she doesn’t have her phone. and yesterday i spent the entire day crying about her. my head is filled with intrusive thoughts. and last night i got so stressed that it seemed like the love went away or i couldn’t remember the love, but it’s impossible because i was crying about her yesterday. this struggle my relationship is having is making me so stressed. pls give me advice

Doopydoowa

Date posted: 10w

Please help-relationship advice

Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing okay. I’m currently struggling in the worse way I have through the course of my relationship. We are doing long distance right now, and I am unfortunately in the worse place I have been in. The uncertainty is absolutely unbearable. He is doing a cool new, consuming job 7 hours a way. He loves it, but I fear him loving the job so much that he stops caring about me. I have definitely noticed a shift in the amount of time he texts me and the energy he can give to the relationship. The job actually started off with 2 weeks of no phone. He has it again now though. We saw each other a couple of days ago in person for the last time we would in about two months. I was okayish when we were in person though I knew I would spiral later. And spiral I did. He left and I broke down. I am worried I will lose him. I start a really intensive EMT program in a week. It will be all-consuming for me. I can’t sleep very much and I don’t feel like eating. I know it’s pathetic. I am constantly consumed by these fears. I think I know what I need to do to combat them. Accept uncertainty but it feels like the possibly of it ending feels more real than ever. And I literally can NOT stop thinking about it. My brain feels in danger!!! I just worry that bad stuff is actually happening. I think we are going through a rough patch, but I also just feel more alone than ever. Drowning in my mind. What do I believe? I have a past of ocd, so it wouldn’t be surprised if it’s getting intertwined. Most people would say: it’s okay to ask him for reassurance about the relationship!!! But I feel like that’s the trap for me. I don’t know how to move forward. I know things are tough for us right now. But I’ve been floating back and forth on a spectrum of well maybe I just have trust to maybe this literally won’t work out!!! Texting and communicating over text is really hard for me. I am constantly analyzing it: how much energy is he giving? How much energy am I giving? Well I don’t want to do all the emotional labor, and be the main texter. But I also don’t care about texting that much and get exhausted with this back and forth.

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