- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
So this is my story. My life was perfect (casual ups and downs) until one day I started getting these thoughts saying “what if I am gay?”. These thoughts plagued me and became something so severe I thought about it all day everyday and I couldn’t beat it... I was constantly trying to reassure myself mentally by putting myself in gay scenarios etc, I just couldn’t win though. So I looked up am I gay? And found OCD. I saw what OCD was: a disease! A disorder of the brain! Incurable, lifelong, treated by meds that may not even work! This scared the fuck out of me, so I developed a new fear around OCD and mental illness. I was obsessed with my thoughts and constantly trying to think if my thoughts were all OCD influenced or not , if everything I did was because of OCD, because I self diagnosed myself, I assumed my thoughts HAD to be OCD. I assumed all my thoughts were OCD and I became so fucking restless everyday. Normal thoughts started to concern me such as “what if this isn’t symmetrical” “what if this isn’t clean” “what if I can’t get this thought out of my head”... many more OCD thoughts came to me (you guys don’t need to know all of them) but the reason they came was simple. I feared the condition so it had me develop OCD thoughts. Soon I developed trans OCD harm OCD suicide OCD etc these all started from the root of HOCD. I was growin so restless of this I was desperate for a cure. I thought if I kept living like this I was sure to kill myself. I realized though that OCD is fear. Fear and anxiety links the obsession to the compulsion. My fear was around originally being gay, then around OCD as a whole. I thought my life was going to be all about dealing w my OCD OBSESSIONS. I tried lifting, interacting w people, studying. I couldn’t feel normal again I just wanted to die really... then I realized my therapist can’t help me I need to get to the root myself. So I cured my HOCD and somehow everything else went away . Here are methods I recommend. And remember , you will get better. Trust god . This is not a disease
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@Matty Z I’m seeing this supper late I know your probably not on this app anymore, but have a question about your recovery in hopes to get better. If your still out there Matty would be sick to get to chat, 🙏🏼
- Date posted
- 5y ago
1) tapping method: so I learned this from a guide to dealing w anxiety. Many claim it “cured” them, or worked better than SSRI . It even cured one women’s lifelong fear of water. So this is a method where you use to fingers and repeatedly tap on specific points on your body that tell your mind “yo everything’s ok bro” some points are next to your eyes, between your eyebrows , on your chin, etc. when you feel anxious tap these points and ask yourself what your anxiety level is after you tap for a minute or so. When you get an intrusive thought bring it to attention (but don’t react) and just tap until u feel at ease. This helped me with the anxiety brought with OCD and it literally tells your brains defense mechanisms of anxiety to calm down because there is not threat.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
4) live healthy: eat healthy, exercise (for seratonin), social interactions, creative activities. These can help overall mood and give you something to focus on instead.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
6) WARNING NOT FOR EVERYONE. This is the one that might get me banned. I don’t have time to explain everything but this is the actual thing that “cured” my root ocd cause. This method is illegal, but everyone reading trust me it is not what u think of it... MAGIC MUSHROOMS. As I said it’s a whole other universe that I can’t explain. Studies show magic mushrooms reset the brain and work miracles in depressed, addicted, anxious people . They have saved many lives. Many think they are only illegal because they are so useful that if everyone knew they would cure mental illness then the pharmacies would not be able to sell you meds ( their income) so one of the biggest industries would be destroyed . But what if I told you mushrooms cure mental illness and are not dangerous at all. Look up mushrooms effect on depression and anxiety it is scientifically proven to reset the brain and open new pathways. Shrooms essentially allowed me to open new pathways in order to view my fears and face them internally in another dimension. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT IT CURED ME AND I DID MY RESEARCH. please just do your research and remember to be safe if u decide to take this path. But I can assure u these mushrooms will cure you if you are determined to find the underlying cause of anxiety deep in your brain....
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Matty, thanks for your reply. This is a heavy and controversial topic. But I get what you are saying trust me. I tried every psychedelic you can probably think of to try and 'fix' my brain. Many many times. It did work for a while, years even I thought I was ocd free (i wasnt in retrospect) but I was way healthier mentally. I agree mindfulness is very helpful and its something I am trying to learn to do. I have problems with substance abuse (not psychedelics) mainly cannabis and alcohol for 20 years. In my 20s when I did a lot of psychedelics I thought I was so cured I doubted I ever even had ocd. But over the years it slowly came back to the point where I had to seek professional help again. Could I just take mushrooms again and get a reduction or even elimination of my symptoms? Im sure I could. But I have to learn these other skills with ERP and mindfullness and acceptance. My mistake is I thought I was cured and neglected my mental health and thought I was cured. Im paying price for it now. But I dont regret it. You live and learn. You might be only other oerson with ocd Ive had this conversation with so thank you. I just wabt to advise some caution in thinking ocd is cured for good. I went through some very stressful life experiences and fell back into ocd to the point I cant even remeber what it was like to feel 'cured'. Good luck in your journey I am happy you found some peace.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ive seen you post before, and I have some criticism : You didnt disprove that OCD is not an illness and only a mindset in any of this. Most of the methods you describe are recommended by psychiatrists and therapists everywhere, everything from exercise to ERP, to mindfullness to radical acceptance (it's called ACT). Some doctors even recomment the use of marijuana or CBD. There are clinical trials linking ketamine as a treatment for treatment resistant depression. I have heard of mushrooms being used fr clinical purposes before too, but I dont know as much about that. I do know for some people psylocin can cause extreme panic attacks in some individual, but no medicine or drug works perfectly. Im not dismissing its efficacy. What I take issue with is how you characterize the nature of OCD (not as an illness but as a 'mindset'), and how therapy is useless, and how easy it is to treat yourself. You say 3) achieve mindfulness, like obtaining a practicing mindfulness isnt exactly what people with OCD struggle with. You cant just tell us to not acknowledge the thoughts at all like that's not exactly what we inherently struggle with. You are telling us basically to cure yourself, stop having symptoms. Our thoughts are egodystonic. I know for a fact with no doubt that thoughts dont mean anything, that numbers arent evil, that colors arent unclean, but the thoughts coupled with severe anxiety and yeah OCD means I cannot simply reason with my thought and end it at that. There is something in my brain that has convinced me that these numbers are a danger. What therapists do to help patients with these issues is guide them through mindfullness when a patient is stuck in a loop of anxious thoughts, and interupt us when we use words that indicate we think the thoughts are true and the compulsions are necessary, until it becomes habit to think otherwise. Then it has to become a habit to believe otherwise. Therapists help by guiding us towards healthy thinking practices when our thoughts are so clouded by irrational thought and anxiety. They help us design exposures and help keep us accountable. You cant fight your brain with your own brain. You can fight your brain that is malfunctioning with your own brain. Your all caps "DO NOT BE AFRAID" is either a form of reassurance, or a patronizing and ignorant pointless statement. By OCDs nature, it is impossible to will or rationalize the fear away. And you saying to not be afraid is worth very little. Im not trying to be mean, but when I see someone say OCD is not an illness, I cannot ignore it. Ive tried every single was to change my mindset, and I have many times, but I still have OCD. The only thing that has helped my significant recovery has been changing my behavior, not how I think. Anyone please if you see that ive said something wrong, dont be afraid to point it out. Finally, your.claim that mainstream OCD treatment says that OCD is "incurable, lifelong, treated with meds that may not even work" ignores that the mainstream and most reliable method of treating OCD is ERP, CBT, and ACT.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
3) mindfulness. This one is very important : you need to realize everyone gets bad thoughts and you are not crazy, you are anxious. When you get a bad thought recognize it as ocd (like a pestering child in a classroom) dont push, pull! Bring the thought into view accept it acknowledge it don’t push it away. Bring it forward and examine it like a little bug. Try joking around about it and accepting it “yes I’m gay haha I love being gay” . Saying this does not mean you are . DO NOT BE AFRAID. Or another thing you can do instead of accepting is just not acknowledging at all. Just let the thought come don’t give it attention and let it fade. That’s what “normal people” do . They get a thought , but associate no meaning to it , so it isn’t scary. Let the thoughts come and practice mindfulness. Try the app headspace. Meditate and pray.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
5) therapy: this includes CBT and erp. Both will help you face your fears cbt: mentally erp: physically. Talking to someone helps and often I would realize how crazy my thoughts are when I explained them to someone. Also keep a journal and get your thoughts out on paper . Don’t be scared of opening up please don’t be scared!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
7) nofAp: this is what cured my HOCD. I was addicted to porn. Once I stopped my HOCD faded and then everything else did ... so if your a man with HOCD please do nofap it is lifesaving.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I used psychedelics to help treat my ocd. It helped me take some huge strides into recovery. But they can also make you very paranoid and in some cases make things a lot worse. Its unfortunate there isnt more research into this because I think it can really help people. But that is changing slowly. Its important to be aware ocd can come back. Mine slowly creeped back into my life and started to take over again. I thought I 'cured' myself too once. It can always come back but you can overcome it again.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Jin that is a very interesting idea, that mental illness belongs to a paradigm other than sickness (and health?) Im curious why you think this is the case? I do think brain scientists overeach and are reductionist at times. So diseases were known though all history with no explanation on why they are connected and what causes them, but then germ theory was discovered, among other things. Why do you believe we will never discover a "mental illness" "germ theory?" Do you have any speculation on what those of us who suffer from OCD are ACTUALLY suffering from?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@stf yes u can be free that’s the right mindset I’m talking about that’s how people recover that is what strength is. I wasn’t saying don’t be scared to reassure you guys I’m trying to help you guys if u keep hope you will be cured trust me keep working whatever works best for you
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Jin what you say is very interesting and I think we agree on more than you might think. I also understand that thoughts and souls are not material, and not subject to the same forces as organic bodies. Yes a large degree of mental suffering is a result of social and economic reality, and not some "germ." I personally object to the DSM definition of OCD as being when these symptoms get in the way of our functioning. That is a definition that is only relevant under capitalism. Ive found a better definition is that obsessions and compulsions are pathological when without treatment, symptoms increase. It's normal fr someone to have intrusive thoughts and superstitious compulsions, but usually they stop at that. for me and everyone else with. OCD, giving into a compulsion usually means that the obsessive thoughts will only increase and compulsions be more more complex and frequent, to the point that personal suffering is unbearable. I recognize that a lot of mental suffering is a rest of the context of our lives, but that doesnt make it any less of an illness, I dont think. If your drinking water is contaminated with lead, and you get lead poisoning, you are suffering because of horrible errors in city planning possibly the result of insufficient funding in a capitalist society, but youre still sick. Of course a poor person is not sick nust because they suffer. And gay people are not sick just because they dont fit societal norms. OCD is a sickness because it likely has some (though not entirely) biological causes that bring great suffering no matter the context. OCD has caused me and many others suffering in ways that I cannot see as coming purely from outside contexts. I could give many reasons for this, but as you said this is not the bext context for long conversations. I can illustrate this will one example. When I was 4 I was so terrified of choking, I stopped eating most food. I was becoming malnourished and I lost weight and my poop was white (tmi lol). I fully believe we are shaled by our society, but I was FOUR, and the "lack of function" I had had nothing to do with being a productive member of society, I could have died. From then on ive had OCD in many many forms since. I know thoughts arent material, but our thoughts can be influenced by our brains, especially our non rational thoughts. Surely you wouldnt argue that the mind had no connection to the body, or else drugs would do nothing, and horrifying thoughts would not cause panic attacks. We obviously cannot talk about this as much as the subject deserves here. Im sorry OP for taking over your post! I will shut up now!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
thank you, you give me hope ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
2) SSRI I don’t need to explain this one . For many they bring on more pain then benefits, but for some they may help a lot and the stigma around them are very bad but try different ones and see if they help. But with my plan, you won’t need em ;)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The main cure for me was living healthy (including nofap) and taking shrooms to as a tool to understand my mind ... I don’t want to encourage drug use. But I am a firm believer that God lead me to this drug and it helped me heal. Please please please please look up mushrooms . I wish everyone luck ! U will get better ! Trust god !
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@phisch that is because you need to practive mindfulness still and better yourself after dosing. U may need to take a trip every year to keep ocd at bay. My experience was different I am cured now. It’s different for everyone . If your go into it paranoid you will have a bad trip
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hey guys, I appreciate your conversation exchanging ways out of the standard model and being so open here (though personally psychedelics and hallucinogenics are not good for me - I have a history with psychosis (not drug induced!) and a vivid visuals in there and still my OCD thoughts are visual). I think generally psychedelics might help people with mental problems.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Well, the concept of mental illness is generally very contradictory. Psychiatrist claim to treat a sickness like other doctors, while there is no connection between cause and symptom like in their diagnostical system, while in real medicine there is. Psychiatric diagnosis are just collections of symptoms, and this will never change, because the conceptualisation as „illness“ is untrue. Since psychiatry exists there is a lot of speculation on causes, but no proof, and this will never be found cause they ask the wrong questions. What would you think of a doctor who diagnoses your flu as a „hot temperature disorder“? But that is exactly what psychiatry does. I wouldn‘t agree that what is conceptualised as OCD is just a „mindset“ either. I mean, the phenomens are there, suffering of the mind and soul is real and not changeable easily by will power. It‘s just somethibg else than „ilness“.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@stf I’m not gonna argue with you . You seem to know your stuff. Thinking in absolutes is never good I don’t think you need to accept it as a mental illness what good does that do. I’m not that smart at all but I know where your coming from, but u have never done shrooms how would you know. I believe it is a mindset it’s my opinion and all this is just my experience and opinion but I am cured and I know that for a fact I think I also said you don’t have to believe me somewhere in my post idrk I’m just rambling on trynna help ppl on this app but I’m not gonna argue with anyone
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@stf I think literally resetting the brain and opening up new neural pathways is the best you can get with this stuff. Nothing else does this . It’s honestly insane to me how beneficial these little mushrooms can be. And the other guy saying it cured him at one point but it came back lol I don’t know why he wouldn’t start to use them again I don’t know why he would stop if he said he felt cured
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Stf what you said is very wise and I agree. There is a D in ocd for a reason.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Man everything is perspective imagine some doctor told you placebo that was supposed to cure you. This would make you feel better . Gotta have the mindset to wanna be healed fully. Everyone has ocd in my eyes. In fact 90% of people are said to face ocd like symptoms but don’t let them bother them per say. So idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Matty its complicated. Its not an easy thing to take soul wrenching mind altering earth shattering trips all the time. Its important to have a healthy respect for the power of these types of substances. They can be incredibly healing. But they can also take you to some very scary places and even make you delusional. Anyway for me its not enough to take psychedelics and hope for the best anymore. I needed professional help to realize my behavoirs were symptoms of ocd. Drugs became a crutch for me. I became dependent on them. Not so much with psychedelics because they arent really addictive in that way. I had a system where every 6 months or so Id take a high dose and mentally clean myself out. But symptoms of anxiety depression and ocd can always come back. Eventually if you dont work on them with erp, mindfullness, and act. All of which help. Mindfullness is so hard for me precisely because I have ocd. Its the last thing my brain wants to do (or not do rather hah). There is a funny play called "the mushroom cure" by Adam Strauss. Its about his journey with ocd and his attempt to cure it with mushrooms. It was one if the most brilliant depictions of ocd Ive ever seen and the crazy thinga we sometimes do to try and fix ourselves.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You are confusing the fact that 90% of peoe experience intrusive thouhts. It is characteristic of OCD that these thoughts bother us, because our anxiety levels are always on the lookout for potential threats, rational or irrational. Not everyone has OCD, that is just false. I work VERY hard towards my recovery, and I know I can live a life without it if I keep working on it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes phisch I agree!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@stf: thank you for your question. I will come back to it and try to give answers. But I want to do it with enough time, I‘m in a hurry now.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hi @stf. I try to explain more or less briefly what I think about mental „sickness“. The soul/psyche is not an organ like the liver or lung. It‘s made up of CONTENT like thoughts,, feelings, beginning with perception (as in the cause of an individual life). A psyche considered „healthy“ just means the individual functions in a very damaging, if you want unhealthy society. We become a case for psychiatry when we suffer so much that functioning is limited. When humans suffer there are the conditions in which they live, and how they react to it, meaning interpret what they live, where there is a moment of freedom. For sure at an adult age there is a whole process of experiencing and interpreting and we can normally just see the results. The diagnosis is much dependent on the psychiatrists, cause there is no measure for symptoms unlike cough or running nose for real sickness. So hunting for germs is pure speculation, cause germs can never produce a content of the soul/ mind. It‘s us in relation to the circumstances. They will not find the OCD germ as they can never find the homosexual germ. So you see I have an abstract theory of how OCD develops, but I‘m aware that this is not very helpful for solutions. This app is not made for long discussions, would be cool to discuss further somewhere else.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@stf: really interesting to hear your thoughts, thank you. Unfortunately bad medium here to go into deep conversation. Not even a pm function :(
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I get asked about the name NOCD a lot. People might want to know how it’s pronounced, and they’re curious about our story. Every time, I’m excited to share a bit about what the name means—in fact, it’s an opportunity for me to talk about something everyone should know about OCD. First things first: it’s pronounced “No-CD.” And it actually means a couple things, both central to our mission: To restore hope for people with OCD through better awareness and treatment. The first meaning of our name is about awareness: Know OCD. Though we’ve come a long way, not enough people truly know what OCD is or what it’s like. How many times have you heard someone say “Don’t be so OCD about that,” or “I wish I had a little OCD. My car is a mess!” Things like that may seem innocent, but they trivialize the condition and keep most people with OCD—around 8 million in the US alone—from getting the help they need. The second meaning of NOCD is about treatment: No-CD. To go a bit deeper: Say “No” to the compulsive disorder. On one level, this is also related to knowing OCD—noto means “to know” in Latin. This inspired the name NOTO, the operations and technology infrastructure that powers NOCD the way an engine powers a vehicle. But this meaning goes even further. It has to do with how you can manage OCD symptoms—learning to resist compulsions. This is the foundation of exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, the most effective, evidence-based form of treatment for OCD. Learning how to resist compulsions with ERP changed my life, and it taught me how important it is to get treatment from a specialty-trained therapist who truly understands how OCD works. I’ll give you an example. When I was 20, my life was going according to plan. I was thriving on the field as a college quarterback, doing well in school, even winning awards—until OCD struck out of nowhere. I started having taboo intrusive thoughts, things that horrified me and went against my core values and beliefs. Desperate for help, I saw several different therapists—but no one diagnosed me with OCD. At one point, I was instructed to snap a rubber band against my wrist whenever I had an intrusive thought. It was supposed to stop the thoughts, but it only made my symptoms worse. Driven into severe depression, I had to put my entire life on pause. Once I started ERP with a therapist who understood OCD, I learned why: you can’t stop intrusive thoughts from occurring. Everyone has them—and the more you try to get rid of them, the worse they get. Anything you do to suppress them is actually a compulsion, whether it’s counting in your head, snapping a rubber band against your wrist, or using substances to drown the thoughts out. To get better, you have to learn to resist compulsions and accept uncertainty. OCD doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. How do you educate the people in your life about OCD? Whether friends, family, or strangers, I’d love to hear how you share your understanding and raise awareness about OCD.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. It’s pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I don’t care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, it’s a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when I’m not consumed by OCD. I’m present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. I’m evolving. 💖 Thanks NOCD community.
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