I have heard people worrying if there sexuality has changed. They know they were straight and worry hearing stories of people whose sexualities change. Is there anyone who is the opposite who worries that what if they were always gay and just not realized and feels happy listening stories of gay men and women turning straight and feel relieved that even if i am gay my sexuality can change

Okay. It really feels that i have always been gay even after being in a relationship with a guy.it feels like every prior interaction with girls had some kind of attraction in the past. Like a feeling that i never was attracted to any guy when i actually was

True! I know it's personal but i have never experienced anything except for a kiss. Yes i did fantasize about guys and not girls in the past but it never went beyond kissing or making out. Having s*x didn't feel right. I mean in a reserved indian family where losing virginity before marriage is like don't even ask. Having gone in an all girls school with a very few interactions with guys and only been in a relationship once that too broke up cause my family was against it. It's like i never got a chance. All in all for the most part i except for that one relationship developed crushes on male celebrities. The fact that something was stopping me to go too far even in those fantasies is making me confuse. It is literally making me cry!

I just don't know if i was really attracted to boys or just wanted them to be attracted to me. The fact that i had no experience even when i am 23 today is making it worse. The only thing that i am sure is that i had many female friends but i always got self conscious when in a party a guy entered like i overreacted or adjusted myself. As i said i had a very few guy friends so when in a party it was always like 1 or 2 guys and i always adjusted myself or was atleast was self conscious when the guys were there. For the rest of my past i don't even know if i was ever attracted to any guy. Lol i don't even know now what attraction is. I am googling. Only once i was in a relationship with a guy for 6 years. I now think that even that was fake. I entered kpop last year and fell in love with BTS. i never was interested in any girl group as i was to them. i even thought when some people commented how they are totally gay for this girl idol even when they were straight i was always like how can you go gay for someone when you are straight. I mean you can admire them. Now i don't know what i am

Yes i did had girl crushes in school. I was in an all girls school . But never fantasized about them. I even went to an all girls college but in all those 3 years of college life i don't think i was ever attracted to any girl. It was just that weird school life that is making me confused. But even in my school life when i was out in coed tuitions i did crave for attention from guys