Concerned. Confused. Struggling

How do i rlly know it’s ocd? I had one thought and it was a bad thought. A thought that used to be a frequent ocd intrusive thought for me but this time came up in the middle of an argument w my sister who I care for more than anyone in the world. It came up at a time when my ocd had been better. And it only came up for one episode so it hasn’t felt as obsessive, which makes me think it may not be ocd and that I’m actually just horrible. What’s becoming obsessive now is the guilt I feel for having that awful thought. So much guilt. I feel unworthy of anything good.

Nica

Date posted: 2y

If you’re been diagnosed with OCD by a professional, then it’s OCD.

Nica

Date posted: 2y

@Nica You’ve been*

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@Nica I was diagnosed w ocd when I was 8. I’m now almost 20. It comes and goes. About a month ago this thought was def an intrusive ocd thought, but I overcame it for a couple weeks. Until it just popped back up in the middle of a fight w my sister. I feel like I brought it on and even though I know I didn’t mean the thought, I feel like it’s not ocd bc I only thought it once (during the argument) and the obsession has become the guilt. But I do have ocd and ocd can do crazy things so I probably should just acknowledge it as ocd since I know ocd has attacked like this before.

Nica

Date posted: 2y

@iamworthy If you’re diagnosed then you have OCD. That’s it. You don’t need to continually asking if you do or don’t have it; that’s just making your OCD worse.

Tillyyyx

Date posted: 2y

It’s just a thought and you feel so bad about it because it goes against what you actually believe and stand for so yes it’s ocd because you’re obsessing over a passing thought :)

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@Tillyyyx Thank you. My ocd is trying to argue that it’s not ocd bc it only happened once that day (other than when it happened obsessively abt a month ago). My brain is also telling me that saying it’s ocd is making an excuse for my bad thoughts, and that in reality I brought it on

Tillyyyx

Date posted: 2y

@iamworthy Oh trust me I know how tiring it all is! But ocd will obviously find anything to latch onto and it’s going to feel real each time x

Locna

Date posted: 2y

Are you uncertain? Has that led to stress? Has that led to more uncertainty that continues to spiral? Have you noticed any behaviors such as seeking to control, it can look like cleaning, eating, picking, pulling, biting, facial movements and various other things we can control or we seek to control such as others.

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@Pollu I’m uncertain about my value as a person.

Locna

Date posted: 2y

@iamworthy Do you exist? Then you are of worth. But of worth to who? To what? How? What can we foster and grow to continue the means of importance to self and others? Where? And why. I find questioning self ables me to flesh out the logistics to progressive changes. If I'm down and empty I want to question if ice filled my cup lately. Remembering that I am responsible for my well-being takes me to food kitchens to help out. Leads me to you to be a form of support and it leads you to this app to support yourself. You are your biggest cheerleader also the toughest critic. Perception play has done a lot for me. Perhaps you? I read this article by Kyle Benson, Are love laws you throwing your relationship in jail". Check it out even if you don't have relationship OCD it's a great tool for understanding.

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@Pollu Thank you

AnonymousAisha

Date posted: 25w

Ocd thoughts as a newbie

Hi I am Aisha and I am not sure if I have ocd or not but I struggle with thoughts which I don't even know if they r intrusive or if I am thinking about them and they are usually about my family or friends. This time it was about my mom more specifically a sexual thought about my mom and my mind was thinking that this is what I want and when I was analyzing the thought I wasn't sure about my intention which made me feel really bad

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 22w

how do i know if i have OCD?

so this all started not too long ago, for literally no reason at all. but one day i got a random intrusive thought about harming others and it freaked me out bad. since then i’ve been non stop focusing on it and im genuinely scared that i am, or gonna end up like those sick people that have documentaries about them. i’ve never had these types of thoughts before and after me and my mom looked a lot of stuff up we think i have OCD cuz a lot of the stuff it was saying was accurate to me. to anyone in here, does this sound like OCD to you? i’ve always been a nice loving person and these thoughts freak me out so bad and make me feel like i’m a bad gross person. it got to the point i don’t even like looking at myself anymore. i just wanna go back to normal man. another thing to add, when i would explain this to my mom even though i was telling the full truth on how crappy this made me feel it felt like i was lying almost? but i know i wasn’t deep down. i’m just scared that what if i act on something or get in my head too much you know?

bkelp213

Date posted: 22w

Can’t function for all my guilt

I’ve done things in the past few years that I’m not proud of - only a couple of things I can think of and they didn’t directly hurt anyone at least with is relieving (but maybe indirectly they sort of did or could’ve which makes me hate myself because why did I do that… *how* could I do that…) If I could back and stop those things from happening, I would. I may not have thought about what I was doing at the time, so I didn’t really recognize that they weren’t okay, but that doesn’t excuse them, and I would smack some sense into my past self if I were able. I feel like if anyone knew what I‘ve done, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me. They’d write me off as worthless. And maybe they should to be honest. Now yet another thing has come up - I haven’t done anything, but I had an intrusive thought pop up that made me *think* about doing something and this would be unforgivable in my opinion. Though, to be honest, the things I’ve done before are also somewhat unforgivable in my opinion… 😞 Regardless, I don’t want to do it because I don’t think it’s okay, but I worry deep down that I do. Or that I’m looking for an excuse to make it okay to do. I don’t know, it’s complicated. And I’m upset I even thought about it. I wish I had never seen the thing that triggered that intrusive thought. Yet another thing I would stop if I could. I’ve tried to not think about it or focus on it, but it doesn’t work. Even if it goes away, it just comes back again. I just keep thinking about it and it’s overwhelming. Anyway all of the guilt of this is killing me. I feel like an irredeemably terrible person and it makes me want to give up. I can’t get on with life because it’s paralyzing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and at this point, it feels like I don’t deserve to just move on. I can’t live with myself and I feel like I don’t deserve anything anymore. I know a lot of this is probably OCD, but I’m not sure all of it is and I don’t know what to do… if I spoke to a therapist about it, I don’t think I could bring myself to say what I’ve done or what thoughts I’ve had. But if I was told to move on by someone who didn’t know the truth, I would worry they wouldn’t really say that if they knew. Agh, it’s all just a mess 😞

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Concerned. Confused. Struggling

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community