Why do I have horrible intrusive thoughts due to my OCD?

please someone give me words of advice

i saw a picture of a pretty girl on instagram just now and the first intrusive thought that came to my mind was me saying i would love to *insert the most horrible sexual abusive thing* to her. i am absolutely disgusted with my brain and i want to throw up. why would i even get that thought. i’m not even sexually active and would never do ANYTHING to hurt anyone. i get the worst sexually intrusive thoughts and it makes me feel awful because that is just not me. but my ocd makes me feel like it is. i don’t want to think like this anymore. why does my ocd make me suffer in this way. i would take any other form of ocd over this. does anyone else get these intrusive thoughts or is it just me

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

hey buddy, i completely understand what you are saying. i've had similar intrusive thoughts and similar reactions. they are not fun, to say the least. remember a couple of things: your ocd targets what you care about the most. if you care about your health, contamination ocd; if you care about your significant other, relationship ocd; and in this case, if you care about not hurting/abusing others, POCD. as you have expressed, the ocd is *not* a part of you. it's not you, at all. it's this stupid little monster who wants to ruin our lives. and it does this by making uncertainty your worst enemy. if you are going to therapy, i suggest talking about this with your therapist; if not, one suggestion is to not fight the thoughts. remember: ocd is NOT logical. you said it yourself. why would you ever want to hurt children? why would you ever want to sexually abuse someone else? here's the thing: you don't! but your mind is SO scared of even remotely doing this that it analyzes EVERYTHING and makes any uncertain emotion, feeling, or thought, and make sit the biggest deal in the world. rather than trying to fight an illogical thought with logic, fight it with uncertainty. Say stuff like "Yeah OCD. Maybe I do want to hurt that child. but also, maybe i don't! I simply have no idea if i do or do not want to. You can worry about all you want ocd, but i'm gonna keep doing [whatever task you were currently doing before the intrusive thought]". Your OCD craves certainty, negative or positive. Thus, you starve it out by emphasizing the uncertainty. I follow these steps whenever an intrusive thought occurs: 1. acknowledge the thought (say it mentally or outwardly) 2. emphasize the uncertainty (maybe I don't want to sexually abuse that pretty girl; maybe I do) 3. continue doing whatever it is i was doing (school/work, videogames, etc) I believe in you. I know you got this! I pray you improve!

Username: Cupcakes82!Cupcakes82!

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous thank you so so much friend. you don’t know how much your message means to me. i started having a bit of an episode and made it worse by searching up the word POCD on twitter….not surprising that people who don’t have it don’t understand, but it made me so upset to see people calling those who have it such awful things. i’m not in therapy or on medication yet even though i’ve been dealing with this for years, although i really want to be, because i’m still under my parents insurance and afraid to bring the topic up but i thank you so much for the coping strategies you provided me. some days i’m good at ignoring the thoughts and simply letting them pass but other days they really get to me. my intrusive thoughts are extremely random and i never know when they’re gonna come or what my brain will latch onto which just adds to the anxiety too. i do worry that if i become numb to the thoughts if it means i’ve somehow accepted the terrible things my mind thinks as reality which makes me think i should feel extremely awful constantly. it really does suck. apologies for venting in your reply but it really meant a lot to me to read your tips and explanations and see that it is possible to heal. i hope you have a great day and are doing well too!

Username: blazedblazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

The sexual intrusive thoughts are honestly one of the worst kinds in my opinion. I completely understand where you’re coming from, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this 💗 as you said you would never hurt someone, but OCD will take this and try to twist it whichever way it can. The good thing is, thoughts and feelings don’t mean anything especially when they’re intrusive. The fact that you’re upset about this shows that you’re not a malicious person. OCD is malicious. The only way to beat it is by leaning into the uncertainty and using non-engagement responses (like “maybe, maybe not”, “who knows?”, or “we’ll see about that”). It takes some practice but I know you can do it!

Username: Cupcakes82!Cupcakes82!

Date posted: 2y ago

@blazed it really is the worst. i feel so bad that others have to go through this but thank you so much for responding and reminding me i’m not alone. telling myself that my thoughts aren’t reality is quite hard but i hope i am able to get to the point one day of being comfortable with the uncertainty. i think that’s one of the hardest parts for me but i know that leaning into it is the only way to get somewhat out of this illness. thank you so much for your very kind comment again and i hope you have an amazing day!

Username: blazedblazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Cupcakes82! You’re so welcome! And I know :( it feels like that but you’re never alone. Accepting uncertainty is very difficult and I struggle with it as well. If you’re able to seek support, you should see an OCD specialist if you haven’t already. It’ll help you with the recovery process. And thank you :,) I hope you have a wonderful day as well!

Username: Cupcakes82!Cupcakes82!

Date posted: 2y ago

adding to this: POCD is horrible and no one understands. i don’t get why i have to go thru this. children are so pure and sweet and the fact that my brain makes up the worst images in my brain makes me sick. i know i would never ever harm a child but the fact that my brain gives me these intrusive thoughts constantly just makes me feel like this disgusting person somehow lives inside of me. i am living in my own mental hell. please i just want to think normally.

Username: SalstarSalstar

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Everybody has between 40,000 - 60,000 thoughts a day. OCD makes you latch on to the worse ones Just because you have a thought it doesn’t mean it’s a truth. ERP therapy helps you work through these nightmares. Good luck my friends 🥰

Username: Cupcakes82!Cupcakes82!

Date posted: 2y ago

@Salstar thank you so much for your comment! when you say we have so many thoughts per day, it really put into perspective for me that ocd does not define us. i really would like to start ERP therapy soon and hope i will get the courage to be able to. good luck to you as well and have a great day!

Username: zg23

Date posted: 5y ago

Need some advice here as I feel like such a sick twisted person..I feel like I may have sexual intrusive thoughts ocd but sometimes I think it’s just me and my twisted brain- intrusive thoughts about my family members has turned into pedophilia ocd and what makes it worse is that I work with children. Lately I’ve been seeing sexual intrusive images of me sexually abusing young children normally male, and I am obviously distressed by them and I would never act on that but it makes me feel like I would actually do that cause of the feeling I would get and it’s all so confusing and scary cause I would never do that to a child. Please someone help that has maybe been through a similar experience?

Username: Sero82

Date posted: 1y ago

Horrible Sexually Intrusive Thoughts

Sometimes, there are pop ups in my mind of sexually intrusive thoughts and feelings of strong urges of acting out on severely inappropriate things, and it makes me terrified. I feel like a predator honestly, with intrusive thoughts that make me severely anxious, distressed, and uncomfortable. I do not agree with these thoughts, I do not want them, I hate them. I don't know how to stop them. I don't know how I even got them, but they make me feel like a bad person. The urges make me feel like I'd genuinely act on them, but I'd do anything to stop myself from that, anything. I don't know how to make them stop, and I don't know what this signifies of me as a person. The feelings and strength behind them feel so real and so strong, it's difficult to convince myself otherwise. And, oh my god, being able to visualize things in your mind is a quality I wish I did not have. Seriously, it's horrible. I don't want to see images of what I'm getting a sudden intrusive urge to do, and I try to shove it out of my head and it doesn't work. I feel like there are some components that I grew up with that made me learn of things of a sexual nature at a young age that could have made me into a hypersexualized individual, and the discomfort I feel surrounding that (which I am committed to resolving and unpacking) is fueling these intrusive thoughts and makes me feel like they are real because of the fact that I am dealing with a problem of hypersexuality and issues surrounding arousal. Typing this all on here is also distressful because nothing online ever goes away and it makes me anxious thinking of someone linking this to me one day, but I understand it's a public forum to discuss OCD-related issues and so I hope everyone here is kind about that and undissmissive because I'm just looking for some help from this nightmare. Thank you.

Username: Fs144

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone ?

I been dealing with sexual intrusive thoughts about anyone like family,my pets anyone that I would never wanna think of like that I get intrusive sexual thoughts about Anything it’s disgusting I can’t even be on social media sometimes because I get intrusive thoughts of videos or pictures of people or anything like it’s that bad I can’t even watch the news cause I get intrusive thoughts and this has been bothering me so much my bf was telling me a story about someone doing something sexual with a dead body and I got an intrusive image of me doing it like wtf then I got an intrusive thought about a family member that passed away has anyone dealt with that or anything similar this makes me feel so gross why would I get a thought like that

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Why do I have horrible intrusive thoughts due to my OCD?

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