please someone give me words of advice

hey buddy, i completely understand what you are saying. i've had similar intrusive thoughts and similar reactions. they are not fun, to say the least. remember a couple of things: your ocd targets what you care about the most. if you care about your health, contamination ocd; if you care about your significant other, relationship ocd; and in this case, if you care about not hurting/abusing others, POCD. as you have expressed, the ocd is *not* a part of you. it's not you, at all. it's this stupid little monster who wants to ruin our lives. and it does this by making uncertainty your worst enemy. if you are going to therapy, i suggest talking about this with your therapist; if not, one suggestion is to not fight the thoughts. remember: ocd is NOT logical. you said it yourself. why would you ever want to hurt children? why would you ever want to sexually abuse someone else? here's the thing: you don't! but your mind is SO scared of even remotely doing this that it analyzes EVERYTHING and makes any uncertain emotion, feeling, or thought, and make sit the biggest deal in the world. rather than trying to fight an illogical thought with logic, fight it with uncertainty. Say stuff like "Yeah OCD. Maybe I do want to hurt that child. but also, maybe i don't! I simply have no idea if i do or do not want to. You can worry about all you want ocd, but i'm gonna keep doing [whatever task you were currently doing before the intrusive thought]". Your OCD craves certainty, negative or positive. Thus, you starve it out by emphasizing the uncertainty. I follow these steps whenever an intrusive thought occurs: 1. acknowledge the thought (say it mentally or outwardly) 2. emphasize the uncertainty (maybe I don't want to sexually abuse that pretty girl; maybe I do) 3. continue doing whatever it is i was doing (school/work, videogames, etc) I believe in you. I know you got this! I pray you improve!

The sexual intrusive thoughts are honestly one of the worst kinds in my opinion. I completely understand where you’re coming from, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this 💗 as you said you would never hurt someone, but OCD will take this and try to twist it whichever way it can. The good thing is, thoughts and feelings don’t mean anything especially when they’re intrusive. The fact that you’re upset about this shows that you’re not a malicious person. OCD is malicious. The only way to beat it is by leaning into the uncertainty and using non-engagement responses (like “maybe, maybe not”, “who knows?”, or “we’ll see about that”). It takes some practice but I know you can do it!

adding to this: POCD is horrible and no one understands. i don’t get why i have to go thru this. children are so pure and sweet and the fact that my brain makes up the worst images in my brain makes me sick. i know i would never ever harm a child but the fact that my brain gives me these intrusive thoughts constantly just makes me feel like this disgusting person somehow lives inside of me. i am living in my own mental hell. please i just want to think normally.

Everybody has between 40,000 - 60,000 thoughts a day. OCD makes you latch on to the worse ones Just because you have a thought it doesn’t mean it’s a truth. ERP therapy helps you work through these nightmares. Good luck my friends 🥰