Idk

I’m dealing from depression from my ocd, aside from that I have really bad anxiety and a lot of other life problems. I thought I was doing well at work, I’ve obviously been told about a few things that I’ve done wrong but overall I felt I was doing really well, but turns out I’m not which made me very upset because I’m doing my best but it’s still not enough, it’s also not the first time it happens at a job, which means I’m the problem, but I don’t know how to fix it, I’m genuinely doing my best giving it my all, I’m not lazy at all, and it’s still not enough. I’m tired of existing honestly ocd was already a problem for me and now I’m failing at life. I honestly can’t anymore…

Imtrigad0529

Date posted: 2y

I feel you. I’ve been sick all week so I’ve been home and usually all I wanna do is be home but I woke up today and I had an episode, but not just off a whim, I smoked some weed and I got paranoid. On top of my ocd and anxiety and everything else in my life, I was on the edge completely. Just ready to give up, but I’m okay now I’ve calmed down and I’ve rationalized so I’m okay, but I feel you about work and how ocd and other life problems just add this weight that’s just so heavy. I myself am dealing with the depression from ocd, while my ocd is more so in the back of my mind it has kept from living my life 100% like the little voice keeps me from doing things for the future because “I have no clue where I’ll be in the future so why try” which is not good I assume. But hey I get out of bed and I go to work that’s enough for me sometimes. But I’ve gotten to point where I feel beaten and I’m so tired from it all, work, life, the world, depression, ocd I mean it’s a million words going across my vision and my eyes are going all over the place to read them all. It’s so much and I want you to know you’re not alone. At my job I work labor, working with very hazardous chemicals that im allergic to and I do my job right. I don’t care if anyone has anything to say about how I work, I get the job done and that’s that. People will always have something to say and honestly let them. They don’t know what’s going on inside. Only you do. But I get it, you’ve been told you’re not doing a good of job as you thought. And yes it hurts and it sucks because your giving your all and what more can you do. I would say just keep on pushing because that’s all we can do. Our ocd and depression will erode us just like they said ⬆️ but our true selves, we are our best friends and we need be there for us

Locna

Date posted: 2y

Wisdom here. Thank you.

Locna

Date posted: 2y

I'm sorry your having a hard time. Work is a large part of how we get those productive feelings. Just remember that failures lead to success. It's not your job to succeed all of the time. It's your job to try your best, ask for help and guidance, and support or find support when needed. I worked HR for 3 years and I will have you know your manager is meant to be the commander so to speak. If you have any strong feelings you talk to them. If they can't handle it then you talk to me. I will help with your needs and establish wellness days if necessary. This is not the end. You are only human and OCD has a way of seeking to control that which can not be controlled. It can cause erosion of self. You are your best friend and no one picks on the best friend like that!!!

veinsoul

Date posted: 24w

in need of help

I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.

shirleyCstar

Date posted: 22w

Advice and Unbiased Opinions Please!!!

This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 20w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

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