I have the most awful thoughts about my boyfriend and I’m so scared he’s going to leave me and he is one of the top most important things in my whole life. He is not just my boyfriend. He is my life partner and the father of our daughter. He is truly my everything. But I have such bad thoughts/feelings that make me feel a type of way and I feel like I start to truly believe and I’m horrible for that.
I’m struggling with the same, as a husband in a marriage for 8 years. 2 children. It’s ROCD, if you have been diagnosed. Know it is not you or him, it is your OCD. I woke up from a nap in tears because the intrusive thoughts would not stop. My affection is a constant question of compulsion or true nature. It’s torturous.
@SrDarknStormy I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling so much. Thank you for sharing your story. I have definelty struggled with similar experiences. However, I’ve noticed a new theme. I’m mentally accusing my boyfriend of doing awful things and then feeling so guilty for thinking that way about him and like “how could I” then the thoughts come again and the cycle continues. It’s a new theme and I always say, each theme gets harder and harder and I never fail to prove myself wrong. This is the hardest one yet.
@Caree I’ve noticed the more I try to rationalize or prove out the worst / best case scenario the worse it gets. Next week I start down the ERP journey - with that comes the maybe it will / maybe it won’t uncertainty. I feel like I’m having mental compulsions trying to get to certainty - which is impossible whether good or bad.
My ex-husband and I actually did get divorced. But guess what?. I survived. It was hard, it was heartbreaking, and I thought I’d never get through it, but I did. I survived. Now I’m married to someone else with a beautiful daughter and I’m very happy. You have to think maybe he will leave you and that will hurt, but it will be OK you will live through it. You’re stronger than you think. Whatever happens will happen.
I am so sorry that you are tormented by this- OCD can be so mean and so hard to deal with. Have you done any form of treatment? ERP would be very helpful to help you to face your triggers and learn that your thoughts do not equal truth.
You are not your thoughts 🫂 Our attachment to thoughts teaches our brain to pay more attention to them 🤔 So let bad thoughts come and go 💨 Easier said than done but important principle of not focusing nor fighting thoughts, but letting them go in their own absurdity That way we can move on and for many, this change helps reduce the frequency and severity of insturive thoughts. Good luck and stick with ERP/NOCD!
Anyone with relationship ocd have thoughts about not being able to trust your partner? I love my husband. He is the most wonderful human being in the world so I hate that I’m having these thoughts. They all feed into my core fear of going crazy one way or another.
i feel like what if me and my partner don’t make it and what if he’s falling out of love with me? i keep having intrusive thoughts of him wanting someone else instead of me and choosing to marry and spend a lifetime with someone else. idk if this is anxiety or a gut feeling :/. but nonetheless its scary. he tells me he loves me and he only wants to be with me and he never wants to leave me. but idk..
i second guess my feeling for him basically 22 hours of the day and my intrusive thoughts are so aggressive too, like “you dont love him, you think hes ugly, you think he smells bad” stuff like that and they arent even “what if” thoughts anymore and i feel so guilty. I am basically at the point where I’ve convinced myself that im forcing myself to be in this relationship because i dont want to uproot my life and that i hate him, but every time i think about breaking up i start crying and i hate the idea and these thoughts give me SO much anxiety. To the point where i feel like i cant even eat sometimes, and i dont want to feel like this everyday because i want to be sure that i love my partner, and the small moments that im not spiraling, i feel so sure and so clear that i want to spend the rest of my life with him and i hate it because why is it that one moment i can be so sure that i love him and the one moment i feel like im lying to myself and i need to ruminate on that feeling. im so tired of myself.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
