CONTAMINATION OCD: Hi all! I’m new to the app and I think I’m just looking for people who understand what’s going on. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 6, am now 19. It started as hoarding, but morphed into various subsets throughout my life. Of course all of it is hard, but this summer I developed contamination OCD and I have never struggled with any other subset like I do this one. I went through a break-up and soon realized I was uncomfortable wearing other peoples clothes, and then when my mom would kiss my forehead Goodnight, and it quickly spiraled into any spit, blood, bodily fluid, etc. I then got to my second year of college a couple weeks ago, and it has spiraled more than I could’ve ever imagined. I love my roommate/friend, but I can’t go on her side of the room. I can’t have anyone touch me or my things and I am drenching everything, even my face/lips with alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, hand sanitizer all of the time. I’m starting OCD-specialized treatment next week, and it’s hard to not feel hopeless bc I can’t imagine this ever going away due to how severe it has gotten. I miss hugging people and curling up on my roommates bed at night to debrief. I’m having nightly breakdowns about it, and I cannot thank her enough for how understanding she has been. I miss physical touch, even high fives, and I just don’t feel like a person. Can someone who has experience with contamination OCD give me some kind of hope? I just want to feel human again.

I feel like I relate a lot to what you're saying. I too am a college student struggling with contamination ocd. I hope you feel better soon

I feel for you man. I'm sending you virtual hugs. I have some contamination OCD. Sometimes I have to wash my hands more frequently, sometimes if I feel something dirty touched my mouth I have to wash it with soap and water, even if deep down I feel it's not anything too much to worry about. Part of me thinks I might have an STD, even though I've never been sexually active with anyone before. I don't want anyone touching my blood for fear I've contaminated them. I also don't feel comfortable with the idea of being intimate with anyone unless and until I've gotten myself tested. I have other OCD problems that are more severe for me, like false memory OCD and Harm OCD. I'll imagine myself punching someone for example, then I'll think, "Did I actually just do that?" And I'll beat myself up over that over and over and over again for the rest of the day or weeks or months even, all the whole more false memories are stacking up. I have phases where it isn't as bad, and where I feel more confident that I've never done anything to hurt anyone. At my best, I'm 110% sure I've ever acted on these negative thoughts, but then I might stumble and then I'll go back to doubting myself again. I think it's just a matter of cultivating positive thoughts and focusing less on the negative ones, giving them less power. I'm glad you're starting your OCD treatment soon, you've gone a long time with this problem. I hope I helped even in the slightest. Go kick OCD's butt rocketbasil 😎