- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
You're sufferring from false memory OCD. I suffer from it too, and real event OCD, and it is HELL. Conffessing your sins to your husband it's a compulsion, I did that too. I felt like if he knew what I did i the past he wouldn't love me. It's coming from a fear of abandonment and also you probably believe you didn't deserve him, or love. Also I convinced myself I flirted with some guy I worked with and that was not true. I lost 17 pounds of how guilty, hopleless and depressed I felt. I didn't sleep, didn't eat, I just wanted to die cause I deeply believed I betrayed the love of my life. My advice is listen to all of Ali Greymonds videos on false memory OCD on her youtube channel. She saved my life. She will help you too.
- Date posted
- 6y
He knows everything!that's the good thing!! I know bad on me for doing that. I talked to my sister for doing that. I even thought about messaging my friends but why that's embarrassing so no my sister said that I can hurt relationships for doing that and its irrelevant it's been years. And I listen to ali but I never thought it would that. I haven't been diag. With it if I describe my symptoms to you guys you all would say I have OCD I'm pretty sure it is anyway. I also suffer from Borderline personality so that explains alot of it. My husband when he was my bf at the time has left me once for false accusations which has me scared but that was when he was a different person we are both very different now happy now. But everytime he gives me love or does a very nice for me I feel like I don't deserve it because if my past. You know?
- Date posted
- 6y
That is exactly how I feel. You're not alone. Actually I believe my trigger is when he is very nice to me. Imidiately the feeling of worthlessness and guilt pop up. The thing is we don't believe we deserve love because we did this or that in the past, but that is not true. Everyone deserve love. We need to change that mindset and OCD will probably dissapear.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, Ali is AMAZING ?
- Date posted
- 6y
What is EMDR? Also, I am so sorry youāre going through that; you didnāt do anything wrong and your brain is trying so hard to find something you may have done wrong. I know many people with OCD (if not everyone with it) suffers from intrusive thoughts and thatās definitely what youāre experiencing. Also, you canāt control or know what actions (like the flirting you mention) that someone is going to show you. You couldnāt have known that was going to happen, and you canāt control other people. You know deep down, you didnāt do anything wrong. You should talk to someone (and mention this to your husband if you havenāt) because peopleās reassurance is only going to temporarily put your mind at ease. This is something you have to work on to get better. I wish you the best of luck!
- Date posted
- 6y
I just watched ali Greymond! I love watching her but I didnt watch the false memory one and wow!!! It was so accurate when she said most common ones are cheating and the harm. I gasp!? yay I'm not crazy! Even my sister told me if I had an urge to confess to call her so I wouldn't confess. I need to call my husband right now lol
- Date posted
- 6y
I started watching positive affirmation they are very uplifting
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I have false memory real event ocd, Iāve been married 13 years and I used to constantly bring up past mistakes from when we were dating and it RUINED our marriage, but I got medication and therapy and things got better untill a few weeks ago where everything crumbled. I have a memory that is 13 years ago of me being intimate with my husband (than boyfriend) while being intimate I have a memory of sending a text to a male who obviously liked me but I didi not while my husband was under the covers . And I keep thinking over and over how disgusting and inappropriate it was to do that especially doing it in the middle of being intimate š. I have confessed this to my husband last year and he didint believe me saying itās probably a made up memory and would are not a slut and wouldnāt do that. Now i have guilt all over again for weeks and itās taking such a toll on me itās all I think about and try to remember every detail Iāve thought about it so much I donāt even know if itās 100 percent true. But I can vividly see it when I close my eyes. How do I get over this guilt without confessing? Confessing would absolutely destroy my husband.
- False Memory OCD
- Real Events OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Date posted
- 20w
I will be straight forward and honest. I have cheated in the past. My last relationship was long term, and I had begged and begged for him to change and in the end he never did. I donāt know why I cheated. And Iām not going to make excuses for myself for why I did. I messed up. The cheating was online, it was never in person. But now, Iām in a new relationship. And heās everything I have ever wanted in a boyfriend, husband, and best friend. I want this man to be with me the rest of our lives, and I want to see him help raise our future children. But I canāt help but feel such immense guilt, because although I have never cheated on him, his ex had cheated on him. And I truly donāt understand how or why she wouldā¦but thatās not my place to comment on. Such a big part of me wants to tell him, and tell him that thatās not me anymore, and I know that we will communicate healthily and openly, unlike my last relationship, which he never wanted to. Not only this, my brain just wonāt. stop. thinkingā¦about how I had cheated. I regret doing what I had done, I donāt WANT to cheat anymore, or ever again. Especially with the love of my life I have now. But Iām scared of what do I do if I have a compulsion, or anything revolving around cheating. I want to tell him about it, but I know I shouldnāt, and canāt really tell him as itās complicated, and I know I would only make things worse. I feel like such a terrible person, and girlfriend, for what I have done and what Iām worried about āif I doā, even though I donāt want to. I want to be better, I want to grow. Any advice please would be amazing.
- Young adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Relationship OCD
- Date posted
- 15w
okay so, i had this friend i met in the 8th grade when i was 13 when we became friends and my nickname for her was āredā and i had a crush on this friend before we became friends and once we became friends the crush faded away and i just grew a close platonic friendship with her and no longer has any crush or attraction or romantic interest in her. then i got a girlfriend named lisa in the 8th grade also and we were all friends and hung out but that summer going into highschool lisa broke up with me, we dated only for 2 months so you know it wasnt a big deal. and my friend āredā she and my other friend lana we are a trio and they helped me move on from that. then i started 9th grade (my freshman year of highschool) and i went into this year thinking i was gonna stay best friends with this trio but we ended up splitting paths but me and my friend āredā always had a more special bond in the trio we were like the duo because we trauma bonded and dealt with mental health problems. and in the end of my first semester i fell in love with this girl named riley (who became my 3 year serious relationship) and i love this girl so much i met her when i was 15 and she was 14, me and riley (who is my current partner) were very toxic during freshman sophomore and junior year. she was very insecure over my ex from the 8th grade who i didnt care about because she was my first girlfriend. and she was also very insecure over my friend āredā because she was my best friend during the time i was with my ex and she reminds her of my ex for some reason. i still wanted to be friends with āredā at the time and we would get into numerous fights about that. she would control me and who i was friends with and said i couldnt be friends with her and i felt so awful and defeated bc i had a close bond with this friend. she then gave me an ultimatum of either her or my former best friend and i chose my partner obviously but she was so in her head i think that she still broke up with me for like 3 days and that day she broke up with me i had to go home with her since she was my ride home and i was broken and she was obviously angry and i was crying while we were walking out of school and then she stormed off without me all upset and my other guy friend and his girlfriend saw me and went up to me to comfort me and asked what was wrong and i told them she broke up with me and then my partner yells my name very upset from across the street comes back and grabs my arm aggressively and drags me past everyone very aggressively and angry while telling me to stop crying because her mom is going to be upset and ask questions and i felt so bad. we got into the car and i had to try my best not to cry and my partner who was visibly upset a few seconds ago just completely smiled at her mom and asked how her day was with such a happy tone of voice and i was completely in shock. hours later since we were broken up i texted my former friend āredā (the one who my partner broke up with me over) and told her i needed emotional support that reyna had dumped me and i needed a friend. and she came over and talked to me. that was all nothing romantic. and then 2 days later my partner says we are back together and i was happy but felt guilty because i hung out with my friend who she dumped me over. Now years later im still with this partner after many splits but we are finally healthy and healing and shes been super supportive and there for me and loving during my recent journey discovering my ocd. i have been confessing over and over many past mistakes or things i thought were mistakes. i last confessed something on monday and ive been feeling better and relieved after confessing up until yesterday when i remembered a past mistake (which was what i just shared) and now i cant stop ruminating on it and feeling guilty and feel the need to confess this to my partner but i learned that confessing is my ocd compulsion and if i give into it ill be feeding my ocd and not breaking the cycle. but im also feeling conflicted on if i should genuinely let her know and confess because i feel what i did that time was wrong but i dont want to give into my ocd but also what if i basically cheated on my partner by doing that and if i tell her that i did what i did even tho i didnt cheat but i told her i never liked this person even tho i had a crush on the former friend and tried to get my partner to let me keep this friendship because its not like i like her romantically which is true i dont but i used to. so i feel like i betrayed her even especially by hanging out with her so now i dont know if i should tell her or if its my ocd and i dont have to share absolutely everything especially if its in the past. i dont want to lose my partner and im scared if i keep confessing it will ruin our relationship and drive her away but it will also make me lose myself and my own privacy and also feed my ocd and compulsions but im scared if i dont confess ill never stop thinking about it and i will feel like im lying to my partner and like i cheated and i wont be able to enjoy the good moments and the present because im stuck on my past āmistakesā and now im scared ill have the end my relationship to feel better but that will hurt me more but im scared if i stay im just going to try to avoid my partner in fear ill confess or feel the urge to confess every time we speak. i dont know what to do im completely lost this is the hardest thing ive ever dealt with and i have a lot ive dealt with in my life already. im barely 17 i havent had a year of a break
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